Only the Curious Have Something to Find
by SpookyClaire
Summary: AU FIC: Shawn is just like any other 17 year old...besides that he's gay, psychic, and still not over his mother's death. With Gus and his two new friends Shawn deals with his difficult life and whats to come. Contains Shassie and Shawn Whumping!
1. Chapter 1

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Summery**: Shawn is just like any other 17 year old…well, besides the fact he's psychic, he's gay, and he's still not over his mother's death. With his best friend Gus, his new friend Juliet and his could-be-boyfriend Lassiter, Shawn deals with school, love, and getting the crap beat out of him. Will contain Shassie and Shawn whumping.

**Categories**: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Family, Romance, Supernatural

**Pairings**: Shawn/Lassie, Juliet/Gus, Karen/OMC

**Warnings**: Slash (nothing graphic), Language

**Note**: Juliet and Karen are cousins in this fic.

**-Chapter 1-**

"And Mr. Spencer…where exactly is your paper?"

Shawn blinked up at Ms. Kvetch, having not been paying attention at all. "I'm sorry?"

"Your _paper_, Mr. Spencer. Where is it?"

"My…?" Shawn froze. _Shit_. He'd totally forgotten. He didn't do any homework the previous night, it being the anniversary of his mother's death. Every March thirtieth he refused to do anything. All he would do was come to school and sit there blankly, saying nothing, then he would go home and just curl up on his bed and sleep.

"Uh—Ms. Kvetch? Shawn, he, uh, he left his paper at my house last night. We were working on it together." Came Gus' voice from behind Ms. Kvetch, as he handed her the paper.

Their teacher looked suspiciously at the two friends, before snatching the paper from Gus and continuing on to get the rest of the papers. Shawn mouthed '_Thank you,_'to Gus who merely shook his head, knowing the significance of the date. The bell rang and Kvetch didn't even bother calling out a 'Have a nice weekend!' as Shawn and Gus made their way out the door and down the hallway.

"Dude, seriously-" Shawn started to say, but Gus cut him off.

"No, Shawn. It's ok. I knew you wouldn't be doing anything last night, so I did it for you."

"You didn't have to."

"I know, but it's ok. It didn't take me long anyway."

Shawn smiled, shaking his head. "You're such a nerd, Gus."

"Hey, who just saved your ass in there, huh?" Gus grinned, nudging his friend. He thought maybe he did it a little too hard as Shawn lost his footing and stumbled back into someone.

"Oh, jeez, sorry!" Shawn said before turning around to see a senior he knew, Carlton Lassiter, standing there with his eyebrow raised. Next to him stood Gus' crush, Juliet O'Hara. "It was Gus' fault." Shawn said quickly, pointing to his best friend.

"I—I, uh, he, w-we were-" Gus stumbled on his words, unable to get anything out as he started at Juliet, who blushed slightly.

"It's ok, just-watch out next time." Lassiter nodded, glancing at Shawn with a strange look in his eye, before starting off again. Shawn watched him, an unreadable look on his face.

"Bye, Shawn…" She nodded to Shawn, before adding a shy "B-bye Gus." And scurrying off after her tall friend. Both Shawn and Gus stood in silence for a moment, each watching one of the two who'd run off. When they turned a corner Shawn quickly shook himself from his stupor.

"Dude, you see that?" Gus turned to Shawn, a confused look on his face. "She was totally checking you out!" Shawn grinned, trying to take his thoughts from the tall senior he'd just bumped into.

"Was she?" Gus asked eagerly, now looking back at Shawn as Juliet disappeared behind a corner.

"Totally! Didn't you hear her? 'B-bye Gus!'" Shawn imitated in his best girl voice. "She didn't want to leave!" Gus grinned, looking back at the corner she disappeared behind.

"Maybe…" Gus smiled at his best friend as the two started again towards their lockers in silence. "So…Shawn," Gus started seriously, after a moment once they hit their destination. "How…how was last night?"

Shawn opened his locker, shrugging slightly, "Same as it always is…but—dad and I talked a bit last night. Not about _it_. But…but about it." He shook his head, "We didn't specifically name it." Gus nodded sympathetically. "Dad…he told me about the first time he and mom met." Shawn smiled weakly and Gus smiled comfortingly. They stood there for a moment, saying nothing, before Shawn finally broke the silence. "C'mon. I'm starved."

--

Shawn walked alone down the empty hallways of his school. It was about half past three, and Gus was down in the Orchestra room for his clarinet lesson. Shawn had been in the art room, unable to stop himself from sketching a picture in his mind. It wasn't until he'd completely the picture that he realized it was his father and…Lassiter?

What did that senior have to do with his father?

He pushed open the front doors of the school, not paying too much attention to his surroundings as he tried to figure out the picture. The two had looked like they were at the kitchen table in Shawn's house. Why would some senior Shawn barely spoke two sentences to be in _his_ house talking to _his_ father? Why did it have to be _that_ senior?

That was when someone pulled hard on Shawn's backpack, throwing him to the ground. "Ungh!"

"Spencer. We've been waiting for you." Shawn looked up to see three guys he recognized, Luke, Tray and Jacob. They were seniors, all three were on the wrestling team and Luke was on the football team, too…Shawn was definitely screwed.

"Nice to know I'm wanted." He joked, before one of the guys roughly pulled him up.

"We know you told Hilliard about what we were planning on doing to McNabb."

"Excuse me?" Shawn asked, playing dumb. That previous Tuesday these three were planning on beating the holy hell out of Shawn's friend Buzz. Buzz's sister broke up with Luke last week, rumor has it Buzz convinced her to break it off. Shawn had gotten a vision of the three ambushing him as he walked home from his after school tutoring and practically killing him. Needless to say, Shawn 'anonymously' told Principle Hilliard about how he 'overheard' the plan.

"Lisa _saw you_ talking to Hilliard before she caught us outside!" Lisa was Jacob's girlfriend.

"Look, I didn't tell him about your stupid-" Before he could finish he was cut off as a fist connected hard with his jaw, throwing him hard into the brick wall behind him.

"We know you did! Twigs was in the office! He _heard_ you say my name!" Luke yelled, shaking out his fist.

"Twigs? Seriously?" All that got him was another punch to the face and blood pouring from his nose and busted lip.

Tray, or rather, Twigs, got right in Shawn's face. "How'd you know? Huh? You listen in on us, you freak?"

"Did you think you could cross us and get out of it free?" Jacob snarled, "You suicidal or somethin'?" A smirk passed across Luke's face at Jacob's words.

"Like mother, like son."

Shawn's eyes flared, ignoring the throbbing pain in his head he started to stand, leaning on the wall. "Don't you fucking talk about my mom."

"Oooh, suddenly he's feisty." Jacob grinned.

"What? You don't like me talking about your mommy? About how she offed herself?" Shawn's chest heaved. "What? She couldn't take having a son like you? A little fuck up like you?"

"Shut the hell up or I swear-"

"Or what? You'll tell Hilliard about the big bad seniors that were being mean? Hmm?" Luke laughed in Shawn's face. "Mommy just couldn't handle having a little faggot for a son…so she downed all her uppers." The three burst out laughing and that was the last straw. Something in Shawn snapped and he let out a strangled battle cry before he dove forward, ignoring the dizziness, and tackled Luke. He started punching continuously, as hard as he could, not thinking of anything but _killing him_. That was when two sets of hands threw him back and started to lay into him themselves and before Shawn knew it a new set of hands and feet joined in.

They hit him so hard that Shawn was sure they were trying to kill him. He just knew it. He was going to die on the stone front steps of his shitty high school, beaten to death by three morons. What a classy way to die.

That was when he heard it. "Hey! Get away from him!!"

"Shit, dude, it's Vick's pet. Hilliard'll know for sure its us if we don't get out of here!" He could hear the three quickly saying as they stopped hitting him and bolted off.

Shawn panted, trying to feel if there was a part of him that _didn't_ hurt. "Hey, hey, you ok?" Shawn blinked up at his savior and froze as he saw who it was. It was Carlton Lassiter. "Spencer?"

"You know my name." Shawn mumbled. Lassiter gave him a strange look.

"Of course I do, we're in the same 'drawing and painting' class."

"I know that, jus' didn't know you knew who I was." Shawn forced out his words as he pulled himself into a sitting position. "Ungh."

"Maybe you shouldn't be moving…"

"Nah, I've had worse." Well, not really, this was pretty bad. But Lassiter didn't need to know that.

…why was he trying to be macho in front of Lassiter?

"You sure you're ok, kid?" Lassiter worriedly gave Shawn the once over. "What hurts…" at the incredulous look he quickly added "…the most?"

"Eh…uh, my head. Yea. That hurts the most. Good thing dad says I have a thick head. Like a built-in helmet." Lassiter snorted, before the look on his face told him to go on. "My left wrist…and my right knee…everything else is just sorta dull pain." Why was he telling Lassiter this? He didn't care. Why was he feeling so open with him?

"You want me to drive you to the hospital?"

"Nah, just—just drive me to the police station."

Lassiter's eyes widened, "You gonna press charges?"

"No, my dad's a cop and I'm supposed to meet him there."

"Shawn, I really think I should take you to a hospital or something." Shawn looked into Lassiter's deep blue eyes. An image of himself joking with Lassiter flashed in Shawn's mind. _"Aww, come on, Lassie! Please?"_

"Nah, thanks though, Lassie."

The senior stopped, "Lassie?"

"I—sorry. I come up with weird nicknames randomly. It's a gift, though Gus thinks it's a curse. Ever since I told everyone his name was Tangy McPinapple at a police bake sale last year"

Lassiter smiled slightly, as he helped Shawn up. "You sure do talk a lot." Shawn just shrugged, smiling a little. "Come on, I'll give you that ride to the police station."

**-TBC-**


	2. Chapter 2

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Disclaimer**: (because I forgot in the last chapter) Psych is owned by Steve Franks (sobs) and the title is from the song 'This Side' by Nickel Creek. So yea…I own nothing but my peanut butter oreos and this computer.

**Note**: Oh my goodness! I got so much love after that last chapter! Thank you to everyone that reviewed, favorited and alerted! I love you people! And no flames either? Holy crap! I'm sendin' the love back your way with this new, and longer, chapter!!

Also, I'm posting this chapter so quickly because I go back to school on Monday and the updates won't be coming as quickly. I may even post chapter three before then if I get the time. I'm just trying to get you hooked now so you'll stick with me during the waiting periods ; )

Thanks again to everyone for reading! This is for you, I hope you enjoy!

**-Chapter 2-**

Lassiter pulled up in front of the police station, eyeing the beaten junior in the seat beside him worriedly. "You…you want me to help you inside?" The boy looked like crap. He had dark bruises forming all over and dried blood still clinging to his skin in some spots, despite their attempts to clean it off in the boy's locker room near the parking lot.

Shawn turned and smiled warmly at Lassiter. "No, it's all right. Thank you, though. Really, I'd be dead without you."

"I doubt they'd kill you…" Lassiter started but stopped when he saw the look on Shawn's face. "They were actually planning to kill you?"

"I think so…whatever. It's not important."

"Not important—?! Three guys tried to kill you and it's not important??"

Shawn shrugged. "It's not that big a deal, I—why do you care so much?"

Lassiter shut his mouth, looking a little taken aback before indignantly saying, "I-I just don't like injustice, that's all."

Shawn looked at him for a moment, getting all sorts of feelings he didn't recognize. A flash of an older Lassiter in a police uniform passed through his mind. "Yea…yea, you should be a cop." Lassiter raised an eyebrow and Shawn smiled. "Thanks, Lassie. I owe you my life." With that Shawn zippered up his navy blue hoodie and opened the car door. It wasn't until he shut the door that he realized he'd once again called the other boy Lassie.

He pulled his hood on, to both shield himself from the starting rain and hide his bruised face. He pulled his visitor's badge out of his backpack side pocket and put it on his jeans pocket as he limped up the stone stairs. He pushed open the front door of the station, turning to see Lassiter still sitting there, watching him. _He wanted to make sure you got inside ok_. Shawn couldn't help but smile, but regretted it slightly as his lip split a little again. He waved to the older boy before turning inside.

"Hey Shawn." Several officers greeted, everyone knew him here him. Shawn nodded, not wanting to look up too much as he made his way to his father's desk. His father wasn't there so Shawn let himself fall into the chair, trying to relax despite the ebbing pain.

"All right, thanks Hastings. Oh, hey Shawnie. You're a little late, today." Shawn didn't look up, rapidly trying to think up an excuse and failing miserably. "…Shawn?" Shawn knew that voice, his father knew Shawn was hurt, hiding something. Deciding there was no hope of hiding it, Shawn looked up at his father, who gasped. But it wasn't a shocked gasp, it was one that said he knew it was coming and yet he was still burned by it. "Oh, Shawnie. Not again…what happened?" His father gently pushed Shawn's hood off to get a better look.

"Three wrestlers with a vendetta happened." Henry, who was now kneeling checking his son's wounds, looked up. "Remember my…_idea_ about Buzz during dinner on Monday?" Henry nodded, "Well…obviously I told Hilliard, and Buzz was fine, but they found out it was me who told."

Henry looked back at Shawn's bruises, not wanting to meet his son's eyes. "Damnit, Shawnie…" He whispered.

"Oh jeez, Henry, what happened?" Both Spencers looked up to see Jim Hastings, Henry's partner, standing there with a worried look on his face.

"You should see the other guys." Shawn grinned halfway.

"Guys? As in plural?"

"Yea…some of the school wrestlers don't like me very much. Something about being jealous of my hair…" Henry rolled his eyes.

"Good thing they didn't break your funny bone."

"Is that bone seriously for being funny?" Henry playfully glared at his son, who laughed a little.

"I'll get you the first aid kit from your truck, Spencer." Hastings nodded, going of.

Shawn signed, "I'm sorry dad." He moaned.

Henry looked up, confused. "For what?"

"I—I should have seen this coming. You have enough to worry about. You don't need me-"

"Shawnie." Henry stopped him. "First of all, I'm _always_ worried about you, so that's not even a part of it." Shawn smiled, "And second…you are the most important thing to me. Not this job, not…not the past, _you_. OK?"

Shawn looked away, "Ok, dad." He said quietly.

Hastings stepped up, causing both Spencers to look away and break the moment. "Got the kit, guys."

--

"T.G.I.F." Shawn said as he collapsed on the couch, now covered in bandages and two velcro braces, one on his left wrist and one on his right knee. Henry's first aid kit was like a bottomless pit of medical supplies, but with a son like Shawn that was a given.

"Yea…you just want pizza tonight?" Shawn glanced up at his father in surprise, "I don't feel like cooking."

"Yea, I could definitely go for pizza…wings, too?"

"Sure. Let's go crazy." Henry grinned, walking into the kitchen. Shawn smiled to himself, throwing his arm over his eyes, listening to his father give the order over the phone. Two years and a few hours ago he'd been sitting in a hospital, sobbing as Gus ran in, looking panicked. Shawn could remember at school that day how he'd know. The image in his mind that would haunt him forever. The image of his mother lying on the kitchen floor, dead.

_Shawn mindlessly wrote his notes before blinking up at the board. His eyes crinkled in confusion as he read the words on the board. They'd been reviewing all the important events of 1945, but one of the bullet points confused him. _

Madeline killed herself.

_Who? Shawn leaned forward and poked Gus, "Dude, who the hell is Madeline? I thought we were talking about Hitler." _

_Gus turned slightly, giving Shawn a weird look. "What are you talking about?" _

"_Dude, on the boa-" Shawn looked back up and stopped. It no longer said Madeline, but Hitler. "…board." Shawn whispered, but froze. An image of his mother lying on the kitchen floor, not moving, flashed before his eyes. "Madeline." He said aloud. His mother's name was Madeline. "Oh God." Shawn nearly threw up where he sat. He grabbed his books in a frenzy, "I have to leave Gus."_

"_What?"_

"_My mom's in trouble!" Gus' eyes widened as Shawn jumped up and ran from the room. _

"_Mr. Spencer!" Mr. Kaz yelled after him, but he was already gone._

_Shawn had literally run the two miles back to his house, not stopping for anything. But when he stepped inside, he couldn't breathe. This overwhelming feeling flew over him. His body was drowning in despair and regret. He practically passed out from the intense feelings as he forced his way to the kitchen. That was when he saw it. The image he'd seen in his mind. His mother was dead on the kitchen floor, her empty bottle of anti-depressants lying sideways, precariously on the edge of the counter, a half-empty bottle of vodka not far from it. _

_That was when Shawn threw up. _

_His father had found him, less than an hour later. He'd gotten a call from the school saying Shawn had left. When Henry entered the kitchen the image _he_ saw would forever be burned in _his_ mind. There lay his wife, dead, with his son curled up next to her, a sobbing mess. _

Shawn shook the memories from his mind. That had been two years ago. He wasn't going to fall apart over it. He was fine. Everything was fine. Spencers were always fine.

Shawn jumped as the phone rang next to him. "I got it!" He heard his father call.

In the kitchen Henry pulled the phone he'd just hung up off its cradle, "Hello?"

There was a pause on the other end, "Uh…hi. Is this the, uh, Spencer residence?"

"It is," Henry said slowly, "Who is this?"

"My name is Carlton Lassiter. I, uh, drove Shawn to the police station after school today. I, uh, I wanted to make sure he got home all right. That—that he _was_ all right."

Henry stopped, a smile forming on his face. "Shawn said a friend drove him to the station. Said that friend saved his life."

"I—I wouldn't go that far…"

"You're modest." Henry said, silencing the boy on the other end. "Whether you think you did or not, you saved my son's life. You can imagine I'm very grateful for that."

"I-I would think so, sir. Yes." Henry couldn't stop his smile at the boy's nervousness.

"I'd like to thank you. How about you come over for dinner sometime?"

"Oh, Mr. Spencer. That's all right, I don't want to intrude-"

"No, no. I insist. You can bring your parents too. How's fish fry? I catch 'em myself."

"Well, that—that sounds wonderful, sir. But you really don't have to-"

"All right then, how's Sunday sound? Your family doing anything then?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Than it's settled. I'll see you all on Sunday." Henry quickly gave the boy their address, thanked him once more and hung up before he could protest again. A grin passed across the father's face as he waltzed into the living room.

"Who was it?" His son mumbled from the couch, half-asleep.

"Your friend, Carlton. He wanted to make sure you got home ok."

Shawn sat up quickly, maybe a little too quickly by the look that passed across his face, suddenly very awake, "He did?"

"Yea, I told him I was grateful for what he'd done…so I invited him to have dinner with us on Sunday." Shawn's face fell into one of panic.

"You what??" Henry tried to hide his smirk, he _loved_ toying with his son.

"Well, you said he was a friend. And you also said he saved your life. What's the problem?"

"The problem…? The problem?? You didn't tell me you were going to…I won't have anything to…I'll look like a moron!"

"You always look like a moron."

"I'm serious!" Shawn cried.

"What are you so worried about? S'not like you need to impress him or anything…unless, of course, you want to." A faint blush played across his son's cheeks as he looked away and Henry didn't even fight the smile that time.

"I—he's a senior, dad. The _vice president_. I—he wouldn't want to interact with me."

"He saved you life, didn't he? That's gotta mean he likes you at least a little."

"I've barely spoken to him! How _could_ he like me?" Shawn leaned forward a little, quietly muttering to himself, "How could _I_ like _him_?"

Henry sighed, the smile still on his face, and he sat down next to his son. "Oh, come on, Shawnie. It's not like this is your first crush."

Shawn blushed even deeper. "I never said he was a crush."

"You didn't have to."

"You'd think _you_ were the psychic."

Henry shrugged, "Don't have to be, I'm a father." Shawn smiled at that. "You know I don't have a problem with it, Shawnie."

Shawn looked down, "Mom seemed to." He whispered.

Henry tensed, "What?" Shawn put his head in his hands, "Shawn—look at me." Shawn didn't move, "Damnit, I said look at me." He finally looked up, not wanting to meet his father's eye, "Shawnie, don't you do this. Don't blame yourself for what your mother did. It had _nothing_ to do with you."

"How can you say that??" Shawn cried out, slightly startling his father, "I come out and two weeks later _bam_! Mom kills herself!"

"She was _sick_, Shawn! She _loved_ you-"

Shawn shook his head, "No! She couldn't stand having a little _faggot_ for a son!"

"Shawn!" Henry cried, shocked. "Where the hell is this coming from?!" His son looked away, tears forming in his eyes. "Who put these ideas in your-" He stopped, "Those boys." Henry snarled the two words so venomously that Shawn looked up almost afraid, "Those boys from today said something, didn't they?" Shawn didn't answer, "Oh those little _fuckers_!" He cried, shooting up.

"Dad-"

"That's it, I'm having them put away for assault - no, no! Attempted murder! They're eighteen, right? I can have them put away for _life_. I'll-!"

"Dad!" Shawn cried, "Dad, no. It—it doesn't matter-"

"Of _course_ it matters, Shawn! _You_ matter! They hurt you! They put these horrible ideas in your head!"

"Dad, you'll pop a blood vessel if you don't calm down!" Henry stopped in his tracks, turning to his son.

"Shawn." He said, taking a deep breath and sitting back down. "Shawn. You are the most important thing in my life. I—I can't have you thinking these things. All right? I can't lose you too, Shawn."

Shawn comfortingly put his hand on his father's knee. "You're not gonna lose me, dad." he whispered, They sat there for a moment, just enjoying each other's presence, before Shawn finally broke the silence. "Holy shit."

"What?" Henry asked, looking up.

"We just had a really sentimental moment, our _second one_ today, and it lasted more than thirty seconds." Henry stopped, blinked at his son, then burst out laughing, Shawn joining in almost immediately. Neither one was really sure why they were laughing so hard, but it felt good. They continued to laugh for several minutes before they finally caught their breath.

"Aha, aww. All right," Henry stood, wiping his eyes on the back of his hands. "I gotta go pick up the pizza."

--

"You're going to his house for dinner?!" Lassiter pulled the phone from his ear as his best friend screamed into the receiver.

"Did you really need to scream?"

"Carlton! This is so exciting! How did this happen?? What are you going to wear??"

"Juliet, I—I don't really know. I called to make sure he got home ok and his dad basically decided I was going to come over for dinner on Sunday…and I have no idea what I'm going to wear."

"Oh! Can I come over and help you pick it out??"

"Why are you more excited than I am?"

"Because you're going to dinner at the house of the boy you've been swooning over for months!!!"

"I don't swoon!"

"Fine, the boy you practically collapsed over when he bumped into you." Juliet sighed dreamily, "Remember when he was Karen's little brother sophomore year? How you were so jealous of her getting him in the 'underclassmen sibling' program?"

"I wasn't jealous! I didn't even know him then."

"You certainly liked the way he looked."

Lassiter let his head fall into his hand, shaking his head he let out a single laugh, "Juliet…"

"Aww, come on Carlton! Be excited! You've wanted to talk to him for months! Now you've gotten invited over to his _house_ and you're not excited?!"

"I don't know _what_ I feel, Juliet. I mean…he and his father are convinced I saved his life-"

"From the way it sounds you _did_."

"All I did was yell 'Hey!'"

"You scared them off, come on!"

"I think you're just excited that if I get closer to Shawn then in turn you might be able to get closer to Guster."

There was a paused, "I—you—you've totally tried to change the subject!" She sputtered, causing Lassiter to laugh.

"It was worth a try. Besides, _you've_ been the one swooning lately, seriously. Stuttering every time you see him."

"Stop trying to change the subject!!" She screeched, causing her friend to laugh harder.

Lassiter shook his head, deciding he'd toyed with his friend enough. "How do we even know Shawn is gay? I could be swinging at a ball that wasn't even thrown."

"Nice metaphor there, slick. And no, he definitely is. He's notorious for making the homophobic kids in our gym class uncomfortable."

Lassiter let out a laugh, "You two do have gym together, don't you?" He asked as if he didn't already know.

"Yea, we chat sometimes…hey!"

"What?"

"I'm _definitely_ gonna ask him on Monday how your date was!"

"Don't you dare!"

-**TBC**-


	3. Chapter 3

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Note**: Hey, everybody!** Sadly this is going to be my last update for a while**…updates are gonna be pretty slow for the next two months, but I'll get some in. Here's how the next two months look: in exactly three weeks I take the SAT, about a month after that I make my confirmation. Before both those things I've got prep course and C.C. classes, which, IGNORING the time I take for schoolwork, take up my time during the week. But thankfully three weeks from tomorrow I'll be done with my SAT prep course (GOD that class _literally_ makes me want to _kill myself_). I'll get an update in within the next three weeks but it is gonna be slow for a while, so I hope you can all be patient with me! The next chapter is the dinner scene so hopefully you'll be so excited for that you'll hang around :D

Jeez, that was a long note, if you read all that thank you! And enjoy!

-**Chapter 3**-

"Hello?"

"Hi…is this…is this Juliet?"

Juliet's eyebrows raised in surprise at the familiar - and very tired sounding - voice on the phone. "Yes…Shawn Spencer?"

"Yea…this is Shawn."

"Shawn are you awake?"

"I think so…sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"It's ten in the morning, Shawn. I've been awake for hours."

"Huh, yea, unfortunately me too…" She could hear him yawn on the other end.

Laughing slightly she politely asked, "Is there something I can do for you, Shawn?"

"Yea." He yawned again, then his voice was a little louder. "Yea, I wanted to ask you about something."

She paused, "This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain friend of mine would it?"

"What? No…well, since you brought it up do you know if he likes pineapple?"

She snorted loudly at the question, "Well, I think so. We go for smoothies at the shack by the pier when we cram for tests and he gets those pineapple mango ones." She could hear a strange gasp, he sounded almost startled, but more so delighted. "Shawn?"

"Yea…uh, yea. Sorry." He cleared his throat loudly, as if trying to control himself, "That wasn't why I called. What's your favorite color?"

Juliet stopped, surprised, "My favorite color?"

"Well, your birthday is coming up isn't it?" He used a tone as if the two were obviously connected somehow.

"Yea, but-how did you know that?"

"Heard it through the grape vine. Anyway, what's your favorite color?"

"I…" She paused, utterly confused, but relented, "Orange…but why do you want to know?"

"No reason, thanks Juliet!"

"Wait, Shawn—fine if you were just curious about that then I have a question for you."

"Hmm? I'm all ears, Jules." She paused again, _Jules_? "Sorry, sorry. Again with the weird nicknames. I'm sure Lassiter told you."

"Uh, yea…" She shook her head, "Any-anyway. How are you?"

"How am I?"

"Well, Carlton told me about what happened. Are you ok? Did they break anything?"

"Nah, just some sprains or whatever. I'm fine. At least I have an excuse to get out of gym on Monday. You're brutal with the dodge ball, Jules—I mean, Juliet."

She smiled, laughing slightly. "Yea, I guess. Well, once you're ok again I'm gonna kick your ass, you know that right?"

"Ooh, sadly I do." He chuckled.

"And also…I don't mind if you call me Jules, I think its cute."

"Ahah, oh well now." He laughed, "If I wasn't so sure you knew I was gay I would think you were flirting with me."

"Oh you _wish_, Spencer." She shook her head, the two sharing a laugh. "Hey, I—I should go."

"Yea, me too. Gus is gonna be here soon and I'm so tired I could spit. Bye, Jules."

"Bye Shawn-oh! And Shawn?"

"Yea?"

"Lassiter likes his nickname, just so you know." Juliet heard the gasp again and smiled as she hung up the phone.

--

Shawn lay on his back on his soft comforter, staring at his rabbit, Pineapple, who was playing happily in her cage. Shawn loved his little brown dwarf bunny, he'd bought her two summers ago at the County Fair. Shawn was so good to her that he bought her a cage that was three stories high, and about two feet wide, complete with a hammock at the top (Shawn had managed to find one with pineapple print on it). It had cost him two hundred dollars…he still owed his dad for some of it.

"Shawn, stop staring at Pine and pay attention to me!" Shawn turned his head, which was still aching a little, to see an exasperated Gus. He blinked sleepily, still tired from waking up at five in the morning to go fishing with his dad for their dinner.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I said how about this…you wear that black t-shirt, with this shirt over it…" Gus held up a green flannel button up shirt, "With these jeans." He held up Shawn's best pair of jeans, they were dark blue and had no stains and no rips.

"I like it." Shawn smiled, "Better than your first three ideas…because there is no way I'm wearing khaki." Shawn sat up on his elbows and glanced over at the pile of discarded clothes, deciding not to comment on how all of his orange items were set aside – the two borrowed each other's clothes all the time. "Geez, Gus. I thought _I_ was the gay one." Shawn merely got his black t-shirt thrown in his face in response. "Pfft!"

"So, you've set your sights on Carlton Lassiter, huh?"

Shawn fell back on to his back, not bothering to remove the shirt from his face. "Yea…seems to be so." Gus reached over and tugged the shirt off his face, before laying it down neatly next to the rest of the outfit. "I don't know…I just keep having these flashes of us in my head, ya' know? And Friday, the reason I was late after school was because I had to draw a picture." Gus nodded, knowing what Shawn meant. Gus was the only person who knew about Shawn's powers besides Henry and Henry's father Lawrence. Gus had helped Shawn deal with them since before he could remember.

"What was the picture of?"

"My dad…and Lassiter. They were sitting at the counter downstairs, and they were both smiling."

"Well, that's weird."

"But that's not even the worst part. When Lassiter rescued me I had this flash in my head of the two of us joking around, and I called him Lassie in the vision, so I accidentally called him Lassie in real life."

Gus' eyes widened as he tried not to laugh. "You did?"

"Shut up! It was embarrassing! He probably thinks I'm a freak!"

"I'm sure he does already."

"You know my father made a similar jab the other night. _So_ not funny." Shawn then reached over the edge of his bed and flipped Pineapple's cage door open. The little ball of fluff blinked up at Shawn's right hand, sniffed it, and climbed in. He carefully pulled his hand back and placed Pineapple on his chest, where she happily snuggled in and fell asleep.

Gus watched her, and without taking his eyes off her asked, "So, how's your…everything? You still hurtin'?" Shawn glanced over at this friend and shook his head. "I may not be psychic, Shawn, but that doesn't mean you can lie to me."

Shawn rolled his eyes and smiled. "All right, fine. My wrist is still throbbing, my knee hurts when I walk and my headache won't go away. Happy?"

"You want something for it?"

"Nah. I'm fine."

Gus rolled his eyes. "Oh that's right, I forgot. Spencers are _always_ fine."

--

"I've already told you my suggestions." Juliet said exasperatedly, falling onto her friend's bed. Lassiter could be so stubborn sometimes.

"But Juliet, I—isn't all this too casual?" He asked, gesturing to all the t-shirt and jeans combos she'd laid out on his bed. "How about…this one?" He pulled a black button up shirt from his closet.

"Only if you wear the purple shirt under it."

"But won't that be too _casual_?" He asked agitatedly. They'd been having this argument for the past half an hour.

"Shawn's a very casual person."

"I guess, but—how about I button it half way?" Juliet's eyes sparkled as Lassiter finally began to give into her demands.

"Ok, that buttoned up halfway over your purple t-shirt…" Juliet didn't bother to move or even uncross her legs as she reached down to the edge of the bed, "And…these!" She grabbed his lightest pair of blue jeans from where they had been sitting on the edge of the bed. She then reached over and grabbed the dark purple t-shirt that had been sitting with a darker pair of jeans and tossed the shirt to her friend.

"Jeans? Juliet, I already agreed to the casual top…"

"If you wear a casual top with un-casual pants-"

"Formal pants."

"-_un-casual_ pants then you'll look weird." Juliet said, giving her friend a look. "You can't go half-in-half. It's just awkward. Like you don't know what you're doing."

"I _don't_!"

"Well I do! Sort of." She paused, shaking her head, "I know what I'm doing with clothes, ok? Just trust me." She shook the pants she held in her hands excitedly. "Put it all on." Lassiter looked at the clothing in his and his friend's hand before taking it with a sigh.

"All right, hang on." He opened his bedroom door, entering the bathroom directly across from his room.

Juliet smiled excitedly, she loved it when he actually _listened_ to her. She sat for a moment before her eyes fell on Lassiter's guitar. She picked it up and pretended to play, Lassiter had taught her fingerings, but heaven help her she couldn't remember them, so she just strummed the strings as if she knew what she was doing.

As she sat she contemplated Lassiter's situation. Two days ago Lassiter had been asking her, in so many words about a _hypothetical_ situation, how to get Shawn to notice him and now he was going to the boy's house for dinner. Boy was he lucky.

Well, so was she.

She'd had her eyes on Gus for months now. Almost a year, actually. He was part of 'pep club', the club that tried to get people excited about the school's activities, and he'd come to a few of her soccer games. One in particular she remembered, he'd cheered her – well, _the team_ – on excitedly the whole time, and when they finished he'd complimented her in particular. The shy way he'd said _"Wow, Juliet. Awe-awesome job!" _had just tugged so hard at her heart strings that she'd practically melted for him. One of her teammates said the only reason he came to the game was for her.

Now that _her_ best friend was getting closer to _Gus'_ best friend, possibly getting into a _relationship_ with him, Juliet could possibly get closer to Gus, maybe have a relationship of her own. She shook her head excitedly, the thought of being with Gus giving her shivers.

But whether she got with Gus or not, she was beyond excited for Lassiter and his developing relationship with the boy he'd wanted for so long.

"How do I look?" She looked up at Lassiter, torn from her thoughts, and took in his look.

She smiled excitedly, "Perfect! You've still got your own style in there, but you've got some Shawn splashed in there too." She stood and walked to him, unbuttoning one of his buttons before adding with a smile, "He's going to love you."

--

Henry turned as he heard Shawn come into the kitchen. "Gus leave?"

"Yea, just now. His mom wanted him home for a party thing."

Henry stopped his cutting of onions and turned to his son, "A party _thing_?"

Shawn shrugged, "Gus' aunt is pregnant. That's what the party thing is for."

"Really? Gus tell you that?"

"Nah, fell asleep for a second while Gus was here and saw it." Henry nodded and turned back to his onions. "Need help?"

"Sure, feel like gutting the fish?"

"Been waiting my whole life for it." Henry snorted as Shawn walked up next to him and grabbed the big knife.

Shawn mindlessly cut up the fish as he had done a million times before when suddenly an image flashed in his mind. The one he had drawn before, Lassiter and his father sitting in the kitchen, but this time it was longer, more animated. They were _laughing_. Shawn shook his head, focusing again before he cut himself.

"So…you excited for tonight?"

Shawn shrugged at his father's question. "Eh."

"_Eh_." Henry mocked, smirking. "That's all you got to say? Is that why you - Shawn be _careful_, you'll get fish juice on the brace – is that why you had Gus pick out an outfit for you?"

"Pssh, no. He just decided to help when I told him about it." Shawn left out the part about Gus needed to steal some of his orange clothes.

"Huh…so calling him and declaring a 'code teal' had nothing to do with it?"

"You don't know what code teal is."

"I don't? Because I seem to remember you declaring code teal when I tried to wear my Hawaiian shirt out doors once. You screamed it at the top of your lungs and Gus practically tackled me to ripped it off."

"…ok fine, maybe you do know what code teal is. But seriously, Dad. That shirt should _only_ be worn to a 'blind guys only' convention."

"Why would I be going to a convention for blind people?"

"I don't know. You're a strange person, father. I don't know about your creepy fetishes." Henry rolled his eyes, before grabbing a green pepper and beginning to slice that up.

"Sure. Because I have fetishes about blind people."

"Your words, not mine." Shawn grinned before finishing the fish and crying out, "Fish gutted!" He threw down the knife dramatically, before turning to his father. "Can I go get changed now?"

"Sure thing there, Code Teal." The only answer Henry got was a dishtowel being thrown at his head.

-**TBC**-

_I'm sorry this is two days late but as you probably know (unless it was only for me, which is weird because I tried on three different computers) the site was having problems and wouldn't allow logins, let alone posting. So I hope you can forgive me, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! _

_I posted a short Shassie oneshot as an apology for my lateness, if you're interested. :D_

_See you all in the next chapter - the dinner scene!! _

_-claire_


	4. Chapter 4

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Note**: Yes! One more week and I'll have taken the SAT! And, it was announced to my prep class that I've improved the most (almost 300 points) out of all of us (we take practice tests almost every weekend) so I got twenty dollars! Sweet! I'm in an awesome mood, so I hope you enjoy!

-**Chapter 4**-

_DING-DONG_

Shawn's head shot up at the sound of the doorbell. "Answer the door, will ya' Shawn?"

"Answer the door??" Shawn sputtered. "Me?"

"No, the Loch-ness monster, yes you!" Henry poked his head out the kitchen door, at seeing his son's look he added, "You're serious? Shawn, he's _your_ friend, first of all, and second of all I have to finish the fish!"

"But-!"

"Just answer the damn door before they leave!"

Shawn stood and straightened out his shirt, he limped to the door and ran a hand through his hair. Taking a deep breath he gripped the doorknob and opened the door.

There stood Lassiter, a shy look on his face as he refused to meet Shawn's eye. Behind him stood a taller man that looked very much so like his son, next to him was a shorter woman with a pleasant smile on her face. "Hello! You, uh, you must be Shawn!" She greeted brightly, her smile faltering at Shawn's beaten appearance, but she didn't let it stop her cheeriness. "I'm Claudia and this is George. Here, we've brought this." She held out a nice looking wine bottle.

"Hi! I'm Henry Spencer, you said you're Claudia and George?" came Henry's voice as he walked up behind Shawn, shaking both parents' hands. Claudia nodded brightly as Henry ushered the three inside, taking the bottle from Shawn, "Ooh, thank you! We'll just have to open this up for dinner, it'll be ready in a few minutes." He nodded towards the kitchen.

Shawn watched Lassiter discretely, the teen glanced up at Shawn, meeting his eye. Both boys quickly looked away, finding their shoes amazingly interesting. Henry ginned at the exchange, Claudia doing the same, while George remained oblivious.

"Thank you for inviting us over, Henry. It was very kind of you." George said politely.

"Well, I should be thanking _you_." Henry smiled. Shawn looked up from his shoes to see the confused smiles on the Lassiters' faces. An image of Lassiter walking up to his parents in a nice looking kitchen flew past Shawn's eyes. _"Mom, dad. A friend invited all of us over for dinner on Sunday, I already told them we'd go, is that OK?"_

Shawn shook his head, surprised. "You didn't tell them?" He asked quietly. Most kids would run home and brag to everyone they could find about their good deed. But not Lassiter, he was different. He wanted to almost _hide_ from the attention…maybe that was why Shawn liked him. Because he _was_ different.

"Tell us what?" Claudia and George asked at once, looking at their son.

"How your son saved my son's life." Henry said, looking surprised as well. Both parents' eyes widened looking at their son in shock.

"You saved his life?"

"I didn't save his life…" Lassiter practically moaned, still not looking up from his shoes. "I just helped him…"

"I was having the snot beat out of me and Lassiter - er, I mean Carlton, chased the guys off."

"Is _that_ what happened to you?" Claudia asked, a worried, maternal look on her face as she looked Shawn over. It reminded him of the way his mother used to look at him whenever he fell off of something.

"Them? There was more than one?" George seemed very intrigued.

Shawn nodded, "Yea, three. All on the wrestling team too. If Las-Carlton hadn't come in they would have killed me."

"Oh my lord!"

"That's my boy." George ruffled his son's hair, Lassiter quickly smacked his hand away.

A loud beep from the kitchen cut them all off, "Oh, excuse me. That would be dinner calling."

"Oh here, let me help!" Claudia said perkily, with a hidden smirk on her face as she glanced at the boys, George followed her wordlessly.

The two boys stood in silence for a moment, unsure of what to do. "You, uh, you look nice." Shawn offered, unsure of what else to say.

"Thanks…uh, you-you too." The two smiled at each other, meeting each other's eyes for only a moment before looking away once again.

"So, uh, you guys like fish?" Shawn asked stupidly.

"Yea…yea. You guys seem to." Lassiter offered and Shawn nodded, looking around the room as if he'd never seen it before.

"So uh, your mom's nice."

Lassiter smiled, "Thanks. She's very…maternal."

Shawn smiled, "She reminds me of the way my mother used to be."

Lassiter smiled sympathetically, nodding as if he wasn't sure what to say. He looked up and the two met eyes once again. They held their gaze this time. Lassiter sighed and started, a determined look on his face, "Shawn, I-"

"Boys!" Both jumped as Lassiter's words were cut off, "Dinner!"

--

The five sat around the table, the parents all chatting politely while the two teens sat quietly, sparring glances at each other every moment or so.

Seeing this Claudia smirked to herself and asked "So, Shawn, do you and Carlton hang out much at school?"

Shawn, a little surprised by being brought into the conversation, quickly answered "Uh we, uh, _bump_ into each other everyone now and then." As he said it he glanced to his new friend, who was also smiling. Their eyes met and yet again they quickly looked away, this time missing Henry and Claudia's identical smirks.

"So, Carlton," Henry continued the interrogation, "Why'd you help my son?"

"The fact I'm awesome isn't enough?"

Henry rolled his eyes, all three Lassiters laughing a little. "Sure, son. Keep thinking that." Then he looked to Carlton, waiting for an answer, and though he was trying to look indifferent Shawn was obviously waiting for the answer as well.

"Well, I-uh…" Carlton quickly stumbled over his words. "I was still there because of student council stuff, and I-uh-I…_heard_ them and-uh, and Shawn." At Shawn's confused look Lassiter sheepishly added, "You were screaming at one point." Shawn blushed and Lassiter looked away, quickly continuing. "So, I just ran over and…they ran off." He shrugged.

"Yes, but _why_?" Shawn kicked Henry under the table, but his father said nothing, only kicking him back.

Lassiter got a slightly confused look on his face, "Why? I—who would walk away from that?"

A smile spread across Henry's face, he turned to Claudia and George, "That's a good boy you've got there."

"It sure is." Shawn agreed, but once he realized he'd said it aloud and quickly stuffed several forkfuls of fish into his mouth at once, nearly choking. Lassiter smiled laughingly, and a little embarrassedly, quickly taking a sip of his milk to hide it.

Henry spared a glance at Claudia to see she had a similar look to his, they were thinking the same evil plot. Get the boys together – well, in Henry's case, humiliate his son at the same time. Henry was sure he was going to get along quite well with Mrs. Lassiter.

George still seemed oblivious to the whole situation. "So, Henry? You caught this yourself?"

Henry tore his eyes from the blushing face of his son, as Shawn tried to swallow his fish with some dignity. "Well, the particular fish you're eating Shawn actually caught." And by caught, Henry meant he'd falling asleep against his fishing pole until it jerked with a catch, freaked out and forced Henry to reel it in. "One of his biggest catches yet. He's been reeling in a lot of good ones lately." Henry said as he glanced at his son's crush, only to be kicked again. At this rate he'd have a sprained knee to match his son's.

"Is this table stable?" George asked, glancing underneath, "I could swear it keeps jerking."

"Uh, yea, the table does that sometimes…when it doesn't like what we're _talking about_." Shawn whispered the last part to his father, glaring slightly, his look screaming '_Stop _it!'.

"So, um, Mr. Spencer. I noticed some of the fish you had mounted in the living room." Lassiter supplied. "Did you catch those too?"

"As a matter of fact…" Shawn tuned out the conversation after that, choosing then to focus on the curly black hair of the Irish teen beside him. And those _icy_ blue eyes…_unh_. Shawn thought about just staring into those eyes for hours…of running his hands through that hair. Feeling it in between his fingers. Hoping it was as soft as it looked.

"Shawn?" The teen jumped a little, blushing as if they could hear his thoughts.

"Huh-yea? What?"

"I just said help me with the dishes." Henry smirked a little, and Shawn shook his head.

"Oh, yea, right. Sure." He quickly stood, helping his father collect the plates. As he reached down, in front of Lassiter to grab his plate Shawn almost stopped in front of him, able to feel the boy's breath on his arm. In a fit of panic, unsure if it seemed he'd taken too long to grab the plate Shawn snatched the final item and rushed to the sink, placing them in one by one.

"Would anyone like any coffee?" Henry asked, turning to the Lassiters.

"Oh, yes please. Decaf?"

"You got it, how 'bout you, George?"

"I'd love a cup as well, thank you Henry."

"Coming right up. Hey, Shawn, why don't you show Carlton your room? Assuming you cleaned up after you and Gus-" Henry got a plate slammed on top of his hand, stopping him from continuing. Henry bit back a laugh and a slight yelp of pain at the same moment.

"_Oops_." Shawn said sarcastically, quietly. "Sorry dad." He quickly lowered his voice to a whisper and snarled, "You're trying to _sabotage_ me!" Henry held back a loud laugh, as his son got a look in his eye that said 'I will _get_ you for this.' Before turning to his peer and saying, "Uh, sure, you want to see my room?"

Lassiter smiled politely, a blush creeping across his cheeks. "Sure, why not?"

--

"So…this is my room."

"This is your room." Lassiter said with a nod, following the shorter boy in. He looked up at one of the posters, "The Styx, nice." He smiled, turning to Shawn who smiled widely back.

"You like them too?"

"Of course. They're exceptional." Shawn smiled brightly, happy for the approval. Lassiter glanced around the room once more, and seeing a violin case sitting by Shawn's closet asked, curiously. "You play the violin?"

"I—used to. I used to take lessons, I mean. My mom wanted me to. Once she died I just sorta stopped…" Lassiter smiled softly, a pained look in his eyes. Shawn was a little shocked, Lassiter was _hurting for him_.

"Do you play any other instruments?"

"Uh, a little bit. The piano a little, I know the fingerings of most band instruments but that doesn't necessarily mean I know how to play them…my mom and dad could play about ten instruments between each other, they passed it on to me." He smiled a little, embarrassed he was still talking when suddenly an image of Lassiter strumming guitar strings flashed by. "The one instrument I'd love to play is the guitar, though."

A bright smile played across the older teen's lips. "That's the one instrument I can play!" He laughed a little, trying to cover up his enthusiasm. "I could teach you—uh, ahem, I mean. If you wanted."

An even bigger smile passed across Shawn's face. "That'd be _awesome_!" Shawn coughed, trying to play off his over enthusiasm as well.

"Well, we'll just have to get together sometime. I could show you some fingerings…maybe we could even 'jam' together. You on your violin…" Lassiter laughed a little awkwardly, trying to think of the right thing to say.

"That'd be really awesome, Lassiter." Shawn smiled.

The two stood there, smiling at each other, the silence suddenly not so awkward anymore. Lassiter opened his mouth, the determined look creeping back. "Shawn… you, I mean I…I mean when I saw what they were-"

"Carlton!"

"Shawn!"

Both boys jumped as their names were called in unison, as Lassiter was cut off once again. "Come back down, Shawn! The Lassiters have to head out." Henry called up.

Shawn looked at his new friend, not wanting Lassiter to go without something said. The older boy smiled at Shawn, a slightly agitated look on his face, as he turned towards the door. "Lass, wait!" The older boy turned, intrigued. "I…you, uh, you wanna eat with Gus and I tomorrow? At lunch? The two of us are usually alone anyway. I mean, you and Jules could come and join us. I…I know _Gus_ would _really_ love to have Juliet sit with us."

Lassiter smiled, "That'd be nice…I know _Juliet_ would love to sit with Gus, as well." An identical smile played across the shorter boy's lips. "I'll see you tomorrow, Shawn." He smiled warmly, turning to go.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Lassie." Shawn whispered dreamily, the older boy already gone.

-**TBC**-

_I really hope you guys liked this! I'm sorry this is taking me so long…but like I said just one more week! Thank you for sticking with me! I mean, 40 reviews? Holy _crap_ you guys are amazing! I love you all so much, thank you!_

_-claire_


	5. Chapter 5

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Notes**: I took the SAT, guys! I'm finally FREE! Thank you to everyone who wished me luck! And sorry this took longer than I intended. I was going to update last week but I've been pretty sick since two Tuesdays ago, I actually missed 4 days of school – which _sucked_. I hate making stuff up…anyway, I feel much better now, so here you go! Sorry for taking longer than I wanted.

Also, please note, **Juliet is a senior**. I don't think I made that clear, sorry for the confusion!

Enjoy!

--

"SHAWN!" The half-asleep injured teen jerked violently, opening his eyes as his name was screamed. He looked down the hall about a hundred feet to see Buzz McNabb barreling towards him like a bat out of hell. Shawn pushed himself from the locker he'd been dozing against, giving his best friend a sideways glance. Gus, to his credit, had managed to keep the smirk off his face. Buzz was…well, he was a scatterbrain, to put it politely.

"Shawn, Shawn, Shawn." He panted as he skidded to a hault. "Shawn, oh my God, what did they do?!" He threw his arms around the psychic as tears sprung into his eyes. "I am SO sorry!"

"_Unuhg_—Buzz?" He choked out, the boy crushing his already bruised ribs.

"Buzz…_Buzz_ you're hurting him." Gus said quickly, looking at Shawn's pained face.

"Oh, _God_, I'm sorry!" Buzz pulled back, blinking rapidly. "Becky told me what they were planning on doing to me …what they did to you. She said you told Hilliard what they were gonna do to me, so they beat you up!" He hiccuped, "I can't believe you did that for me!" He went to hug Shawn again, but Gus put his arm up, and Buzz quickly nodded, taking a step back. Shawn was going to ask how Becky found out, but images of Angela Loy telling Becky how she heard Lisa and Jacob talking about it danced around in the back of his mind. He shook his head and smiled warmly.

"No need to thank me, Buzz. You're my friend, I'm sure you would'a done the same for me."

Buzz's eyes widened and his lower lip quivered, he looked like he was going to pounce on Shawn again, Gus took a small step in between the two. "Shawn," He practically sobbed out, "Th-thank you so much. If you ever, _ever_ need anything, just ask me, and I'll do it. I promise. I swear. I'll do it. Anything you need." Gus covered a snort with a cough rather convincingly. Shawn didn't bother hiding his laughing grin.

He opened his mouth to respond, when a short girl with brown hair flittered over, placing a hand on Buzz's shoulder as she stopped. "Buzz, I think he gets it." She smiled warmly at Shawn, "I really can't believe you did it, but thank you Shawn." She said whole-heartedly. She was Frannie Edwards, Buzz's girlfriend.

Shawn just shrugged, "Again, it was nothing you wouldn't do for me. There's no need to thank me, Buzz, really. I mean it."

Buzz opened his mouth to thank Shawn again but Frannie slowly began to pull her boyfriend away. She smiled one last time at Shawn and Gus before the two walked away at her lead.

Shawn let out a breath he'd been holding and pressed his hand to his chest. "Holy crap, he hugs harder than my grandma—well, if she still hugged me."

Gus ignored the last part of the sentence, not wanting to get into the depressing topic of Shawn's grandparents on his mom's side and their hatred of him. He instead asked, "You ok?"

"Yea, give me a minute." Shawn bent over slightly, putting his hands on his knees, he took a few deep breaths before straightening himself and answering "Ok, we can go now."

--

Shawn could hear clarinet music flowing down the hallway as he made his way to the orchestra room. When he hit the room he leaned against the doorframe and watched Gus until he stopped playing and looked at him. "This is how we're gonna spend our free period?"

Gus rolled his eyes and responded, "You know I need to work on this song, Shawn." Gus took his position as first chair very seriously. "I don't want to screw up the solo."

"Dude, you get a solo?" Shawn grinned and pushed off the doorframe. "Need help?"

Gus bit his lip, as if unsure, before nodding. "Yea…I think so. The flute has the opposite part through the whole song. Snyd said it's a battle between the two instruments, Annie and I are 'battling' through the whole song." Annie Sunsung was a senior who'd been playing the flute since she was in the womb, basically. Ms. Snyd was one of the orchestra instructors.

"The song is a battle between you two? Dude that's so freaking cool!" Shawn grinned, although he knew all this already. He'd had four dreams about it since October, and Gus totally nailed his solo at the concert.

Shawn made his way to the back of the room where several violin, clarinet, flute and other instrument cases sat happily. "It would be sick if I played someone's flute, right?" Shawn asked over his shoulder, Gus didn't even answer but Shawn could feel his nod. It was then that a violin pressed against the wall caught his eye, on the handle in big letters read _McNABB_. "Yo, dude, do you think Buzz would care if I borrowed his violin?"

Gus scoffed, "After this mornings display I don't think he'd mind if you set it on fire." Shawn laughed as he bent himself oddly to get to the violin, once in his grasp he fell back and straightened himself. He could see a folder sticking out from underneath one of the flutes, it said _Annie Sunsung's_ in neat letters at the top. He grabbed the folder, remembering which flute he'd seen it under and made his way to Gus.

He got the violin out and plopped down next to his friend, placing the music on a stand and quickly tuning the instrument to Gus' clarinet. "Ok, we can do this now."

The two played through the whole song a few times, by the last time both were playing it perfectly. Shawn was about to complain loudly when Gus suggested playing it again when someone cleared their throat to their right. The turned to see a rather pregnant woman standing in the door with a huge smile on her face. "Ms. Snyd." Gus said, sounding a little surprised.

"Gus, you've got your solo down pact, I'm impressed." She said with a proud smile. Gus blushed, looking back at his music. "And who do we have here? You're not on my orchestra."

Shawn shook his head, "I'm Shawn…and I'm not cool enough for this." Gus was always getting made fun of for being on the orchestra, several people in the school thought it was a nerdy club.

Ms. Snyd let out a hearty laugh. "Now I'm sure that's not true. You sound _amazing_ for playing that for the first time. You have it down perfectly!"

Shawn shrugged, actually feeling a little embarrassed. "I've been playing for a while."

"Who's your teacher?" She sounded very intrigued, she waddled over, sitting down next to the two.

"Uh, well, my mom taught me how to play, I took lessons for a while from different people…but she was my best teacher. For the longest amount of time, anyway."

"Oh, I'd love to chat with her!"

Shawn could feel Gus shaking his head franticly behind him, Snyd got a strange look on her face. "So would I." Shawn laughed slightly, pushing past the painful thoughts. "She passed away two years ago."

"Oh good Lord, I'm sorry." She said quickly, "Uh—well, are you thinking of joining us?"

"The orchestra? I—I don't know. Like I said, I'm not cool enough. Or good enough."

"Are you kidding? You're very good!"

"And you're very pregnant." Shawn joked lamely, trying to change the topic.

Snyd laughed, "Very perceptive of you." Shawn all but pumped his fists in victory of changing the topic.

"She'll look just like you, don't worry."

Snyd tilted her head to the side, a thoughtful smile on her face. "What makes you think it'll be a girl?"

Shawn shrugged, "Just a thought."

The two chatted politely with Snyd for a few more minutes before she waddled out, leaving the two to start putting away the instruments. Shawn was placing the folder under Annie's flute and Gus was placing his clarinet with the others as the bell rang. The two froze where they stood.

"Isn't it lunch time?" Shawn asked slowly, turning to Gus, who was nodding. "Dude, we gotta go!" The two bolted out of the room, tripping over various chairs and instruments – and each other – before throwing themselves out the door, not wanting to be late to their lunch date.

--

Shawn and Gus sat in their normal spot at the old wooden lunch table under the willow tree outside. When it was warm out the two always ate at this spot, it was so pleasant. Every once in a great while someone else would come and join the two at lunch if they needed help with something or their own lunch companions weren't there for some reason, but for the most part it was just Shawn and Gus.

The two sat with their bag lunches sitting in front of them, untouched. Though _Shawn_ would never admit it, the two were very nervous. They were going to be eating lunch with their crushes…if they ever showed up.

"Maybe they don't know where we sit?" Gus offered.

"Its only five minutes into lunch, Gus, give them a minute."

"Maybe Lassiter forgot, or he didn't tell Juliet, or maybe they had to make up a test, or maybe they don't want to eat with us-"

"Gus, you need to calm down. They want to eat with us, don't worry."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because they're walking towards us right now." Gus' head jerked up to see the two making their way towards them, each holding a brown paper bag in their hand.

"Hey guys." Juliet greeted with a big grin, Shawn could feel the nervousness radiating off of the two, but it was well hidden. They were good.

"Hey!" Shawn smiled brightly, he decided since everyone here was nervous he was gonna be the icebreaker, he always was. He rested his elbows on the table, and then his head in his hands. He batted his eyelashes at the two and brightly asked "So, how's your day goin'?"

Lassiter blushed deeply and look down at his lunch, and Juliet laughed. "Mine's going fine, and yours Shawn?"

"A whole lot better now." Lassiter blushed even deeper, Shawn could feel all sorts of things radiating off of the older boy. Shawn's heart fluttered at the adorable-ness of the senior sitting before him.

"That's nice to hear." Lassiter offered, not looking up.

Gus, always trying to cut the awkwardness a little tugged on the collar of the orange shirt he borrowed from Shawn. "So…you guys enjoying senior year?" He practically slapped himself for the lame comment.

"I am." Juliet nodded, laughing a little. She seemed to be relaxing enough for both her and her friend, because Lassiter was _not_ relaxing. Juliet paused and looked at Gus, "Gus I love your shirt, orange is a such a good color on you!" Gus glanced slyly at Shawn who was grinning widely.

The four chatted nicely for the rest of the period, even Lassiter relaxed a bit by the end, joining in on the conversation here and there. When they finished eating Shawn crumpled up his lunch bag and threw it like a basketball towards the garbage can. It hit the rim and bounced to the ground. Gus groaned and rolled his eyes, he grabbed his own garbage, mumbling an annoyed "I'll get it."

"Thanks, Gussy! You're the best!" Shawn laughed as Gus just shook his head.

Juliet glanced in between Shawn and her best friend, "Uh, here, Carlton. I'll throw this out for you." Lassiter got a panicked look on his face, about to say no but she quickly grabbed his garbage and made her way to where Gus was. Oh, she was good. Lassiter looked at Shawn, the two smiled a little awkwardly. They felt like they were back at Shawn's house, ready to eat dinner with that same awkward feeling, both unsure of what to say. But strangely enough Lassiter seemed more relaxed now that they were alone…Shawn would be sure to figure that one out later.

"So…" He trailed off, "Have fun?"

"I could definitely get used to eating lunch with you guys." Lassiter smiled and Shawn's heart fluttered.

"Does that mean you will?" He asked, a little too eagerly.

"Eat lunch with you guys again?" Shawn nodded quickly, but then tried to calm himself, trying to get suave look on his face. "I'd love to." The older boy said too quickly, he immediately cleared his throat and added "I mean…Juliet seemed to enjoy herself."

Shawn nodded, "Gus did too." The two smiled and held each other's gaze for a long moment. Just holding the other's eye felt so invigorating…the butterflies in their stomachs were doing the do-si-do it seemed.

Lassiter opened his mouth, "Shawn, I-" The bell rang. Lassiter looked about ready to scream, having been interrupted again. Shawn smiled laughingly, standing up, ready to leave. "Shawn, wait!" Lassiter said too quickly, standing up and nearly falling. "Shawn—would you…wouldyouliketohangoutsometime?" He said his words so quickly that they all ran together.

Shawn smiled, "I'm sorry?" He knew exactly what Lassiter had said…he just wanted to hear him say it again.

Lassiter took a deep breath, "I-uh—I said, would you, uh, would you like to hang out…sometime? With me?"

Shawn laughed a little, his smile widening. "I'd love to."

"What, um, what would you like to do?"

"We could see a movie?" Shawn offered, saying the first thing that came to mind. "The theatre near my house is playing _Clue_…you, uh, you wanna see that?"

"The one based off of the board game?" Shawn nodded, "I'd love to. How does Saturday sound?"

"It sounds fantastic." He said before Lassiter had even finished the word 'sound'.

Both boys smiled excitedly, "Cool, I'll-uh-I'll pick you at your house around…seven?"

"Seven sounds good." Shawn smiled, "Uh, we should go. We'll be late…I'll—I'll see you in drawing and painting…and then at lunch tomorrow too?"

Lassiter nodded. "See you, Shawn."

"See you, Lassie."

The two went off in different directions, identical dreamy smiles on their faces. They were so lost in thought they missed the triumphant smiles on the faces of their best friends.

--

Shawn and Gus were at their lockers, discussing what they needed for homework. Well, Shawn was trying to keep that as the topic but Gus kept wanting to go back to the topic of Shawn's date on Saturday.

"Is it gonna be another code teal?"

Shawn shrugged, a small smile on his face. "Maybe. Probably. I don't know. Yea, I think so."

Gus grinned, "Awesome. I already have an idea of what you can wear!"

"And I thought I was the gay one."

"That joke wasn't funny the first time, and it still isn't funny, Shawn."

Shawn opened his mouth to retaliate when a voice came over the loud speaker. "Will Shawn Spencer please come to the office? Shawn Spencer, to the office."

"Oh _crap_." Shawn mumbled.

"What'd ya' do now?" Gus laughed, but Shawn merely shook his head, picked up his packed bag, slammed his locker and made his way to the office. "I'll call you later!" Gus called and Shawn threw up his arm as indication he heard as he opened the office door.

"Uh…Mrs. Tartan?" The school secretary looked up.

"Mr. Hilliard and Ms. Washington are waiting for you in there, Shawn." She nodded towards the Principle's office. Oh _crap_, what had he done? Shawn couldn't think of anything recently besides getting the crap beaten out of him but no one ever told Hilliard about _his_ beating…so what the hell had he done?

"Hello, Shawn." Greeted the vice principle, Ms. Washington. Shawn nodded, before cautiously sitting down.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked slowly, a little panicked.

Hilliard laughed, "Shawn, I-" but he was cut off by a knock at the door. The three turned to see Henry walking in.

"Dad?" Oh _shit_.

"Shawn…Mr. Hilliard what's my son done now?" Shawn could see his father's angry look on his face but something was off…Shawn couldn't feel his father's anger as he usually could. No, he was feeling…giddiness? Why was his father feigning rage? Why wasn't he _actually_ mad?

Both the Principle and Vice Principle smiled at Henry's words and now Shawn was _really_ confused. "Ok, can someone tell me where I took a wrong turn into _the Twilight Zone_? What's going on?"

"Shawn, you're not in trouble, don't worry."

"Then…why's my dad…" Shawn glanced at his father who was fighting a smile and losing terribly. "What do you know that I don't?" He asked his father with narrowed eyes.

"Mr. Spencer, we've gotten your SAT scores…" Ms. Washington trailed off and Shawn tilted his head to the side. Had he done so badly that he was getting kicked out of school? Can they even do that?

"Shawn, you…you got a perfect score." Said Mr. Hilliard, only looking partially astonished.

"I—wait, what?" He turned to his father, completely confused, to see him not even fighting a smile anymore. He looked _proud_.

"How is that even possible? I thought only smart kids could do that?"

Ms. Washington rolled her eyes, "You may be a slacker, Mr. Spencer, but you're not dumb. You've got an almost perfect GPA…I'm honestly not surprised at all you got a perfect score." Ms. Washington _hated_ him, why was she saying these things?

Shawn shook his head, their words not registering. "I—I…"

"You're speechless, that's a first." Henry guffawed at that.

"I—I really…holy crap." Henry stood and ruffled his son's hair, only to have his hand smacked away. "You came down here just to hear them tell me something you already knew?"

"I wanted to see you speechless. It only happens once in a blue moon." Henry laughed again, Shawn's principles joining in, as Shawn rolled his eyes. "Come on, son. Let's go celebrate. Thank you Ms. Washington, Mr. Hilliard." Henry nodded to them as Shawn stood, still utterly confused, and the two walked out.

"You _knew_ and you didn't _tell_ me?" Shawn asked incredulously.

"I'm shocked you didn't figure it out on your own, _Mr. Psychic_." Henry mocked, only to be pushed sideways into the lockers.

--

_This chapter seemed a little off to me...maybe _I'm_ still a little off..._

_Also, I always wanted to make sure everyone understands Shawn can feel other peoples feelings, I wasn't sure if I was conveying it well enough…anyway, thank you so much for reading, until next time! _

_-claire_

_PS: Sorry for throwing that SAT scene in there…after dealing with it for so long I just had to! I get my score on Thursday! Woo!!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Note**: WOOHOO!! My life is fantastic right now, guys! I did well on the SATs, I finished my confirmation classes, I've lost 20 lbs(!!!), and my birthday is next week! SWEET! Life is awesome! –does happy dance–

Anyway, enjoy!!!

--

The week progressed as slowly as humanly possible, it seemed to Shawn. Every moment of every day dragged on so horrifically slow he wanted to cry – well, except lunch, of course. Lunch zipped by faster than lightning.

Lassiter has started to really loosen up by Wednesday. He would contribute to all the conversations and even laugh every now and then. Every time he smiled Shaw could feel his heart stop for a few beats. The two had gotten pretty comfortable with each other, really. They were able to talk to each other without being completely and utterly awkward, even more so when Juliet and Gus weren't there. It puzzled Shawn still, but maybe Lassiter just didn't like an audience. Shawn especially relaxed, he was pretty much his normal self with Lassiter…for the most part anyway.

Gus and Juliet had gotten pretty close, as well. Gus wore a little bit of orange each day just for her. He even picked her an orange flower during lunch one day, Shawn almost gagged but Juliet was touched.

The four of them were becoming a little group of their own, they had even hung out after school on Thursday. Shawn was feeling so giddy about how close they were getting that any time he opened his locker and saw his brown bag lunch he'd smile. _I'm getting rather pathetic_, he thought jokingly to himself.

Finally, Friday had come along and Shawn could barely control himself. _Tomorrow!_ He kept screaming in his head. He must have been pretty manic looking with his wide smile because at one point Gus threw him a look that said _Tone it down, would you_? After that Shawn managed to keep a calm exterior, but on the inside the circus was in town.

When the hour came, the four were munching on their lunches, discussing Shawn's latest drawing for his and Lassiter's class.

"It looks like a monkey." Juliet said as she squinted at the paper.

"It looks more like an airplane." Gus said.

"Its abstract art." Shawn said in mock defense as he pulled the sheet from Juliet. "It's supposed to be whatever you want…and besides, it's clearly a pineapple." Lassiter smirked, a small laugh rumbling from deep within his throat. Shawn smiled widely at the older teen, and opened his mouth to say something when there was a loud cry.

"Shawn!" He turned to see Jason Paul and Allison Digby, two juniors that Gus and Shawn were friendly with, walking towards them. "Hey guys!" The two waved at the four. "Shawn, can you help us for a second?"

"Yeah, we're taking pictures for our photography class and no one at our table is brave enough to climb the tree over there, and we just want a shot of someone in the leaves." Allison over-explained.

Shawn nodded, grinning at his friends. "Sure, no problem. I was born to climb trees."

"Yea, and fall out of them." Gus added. All but Shawn laughed, he merely pushed Gus so he nearly fell from the table, before he ran off to the tree, Jason and Allison trailing behind him.

"Moron." Gus mumbled as he regained his balance with Juliet's help. The dark teen readjusted himself and turned to Lassiter, who was watching Shawn as he began to climb the tree, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Lassiter."

The older teen turned, looking at Gus with raised eyebrows. "Hmm?"

"We need to talk."

"Uh-oh, Carlton. Sounds like Gus wants to break up with you." Juliet joked, surprising the other two.

Gus shook the smirk from his lips and got serious. "Seriously, Lassiter. I need to talk to you about something."

"About what?"

Gus turned to Shawn, the other two following his gaze, as he nearly fell from the tree, managing to hang from a thick branch so he didn't crash to the ground. "Shawn."

Lassiter furrowed his brow, looking ever so slightly concerned, "Why? What's wrong with Shawn?"

"Besides everything? Nothing. At least, there better not be. Look, I'm just gonna give you a simple warning. Shawn likes you _a lot_. And when he's that into anything he puts his who self into it and you have no idea how crushed he can get." Gus sat forward, leaning hard on the table. "He's been through _a lot_. He's been hurt _a lot_. And I've always been there to pick up the pieces, so I know first hand how bad he can get. And I swear to _God_, if this ends badly and you hurt him?" He got right in Lassiter's face, a menacing look in his eye. "You will be so _torn apart_ that there won't be _anything_ left for _anyone_ to find - not even the professionally trained search dogs. Got it?" Lassiter, with wide, shocked eyes, nodded numbly as Juliet pressed her hand to her lips, looking both shocked and like she wanted to laugh. "Good," Gus said brightly, leaning back, "Then we understand each other!" This was a Gus they had never seen.

"Hey guys!" Shawn ran up, panting. He leaned on the table, his face a little flushed. "I don't think climbing a tree with a healing wrist was the best idea." He clutched his left hand to his chest.

"Oh Christ, Shawn. Did you hurt yourself worse?"

"I might have." Shawn grinned. "But just my wrist."

Gus shook his head, "Come on, I'll take you to the nurse and she can tell you. See you Juliet…Lassiter."

Shawn waved excitedly with his right hand as Gus pulled him towards the building. "I was thinking that was a bad idea." Lassiter said shaking his head, before turning to Juliet who was openly laughing now. "What?"

"Your face…" She gasped, "Oh my god, you were so scared!"

Lassiter blushed deeply, "No I wasn't! I was just surprised!"

"No way…" She gasped out, "You were about to pee your pants!"

--

Lassiter mindlessly sketched, having finished his project for the week already. He looked down to see he'd drawn Shawn. He blinked at the paper, Gus's words floating in his head. "_Shawn likes you _a lot_. And when he's that into anything he puts his who self into it_…" Lassiter smiled at that. Gus made it sound like Shawn saw Lassiter as his reason for living. Obviously that was an exaggeration, but to think Shawn thought so highly of him…Lassiter couldn't help but smile. "_He's been through _a lot_. He's been hurt_ a lot." Lassiter bit his lip at that part. He knew about Shawn's mom. He couldn't imagine living with that. He'd even heard a rumor that Shawn had been the one who'd found his mom dead. God, he just had this urge to protect Shawn from everything and he had never felt that way about anyone before. Well sure, for Juliet, whom he saw as a little sister, but never this strongly. Never like this.

The door to the art room opened and Lassiter looked up. Shawn walked in with the wrist brace back on, which he hadn't worn since Tuesday despite Gus's reprimands. The senior quickly hid his drawing by flipping to the next page in his sketchbook.

"Mr. Spencer, nice of you to join us. How was the trip to the nurse?"

"Fantastic! Did you know that Ms. Latcher's first name is actually Riley and not Rachel like everyone thinks?" Their teacher, Mr. Matthews smirked and shook his head, before turning back to the student he'd been helping.

Shawn trotted over and sat down next to Lassiter. "Hey, man." He greeted with a bright smile.

"Hey, Shawn. What happened? You make it worse?"

"Nah. She said I just bruised it. But she said it'll be fine, but that I need to keep wearing the brace." He frowned, obviously unhappy about it.

Lassiter smiled, lightly patting the hurt wrist. "It'll be fine." Shawn smiled, a bright, excited look in his eye. Had they been sitting like this three days ago they would have shrunken away from each other nervously, but in just a few days they'd gotten much more comfortable with each other.

"So, uh, you excited for tomorrow?" Well, the nervousness wasn't _completely_ gone.

"Very." Shawn responded, smiling wider, "Are you?" He sounded a little more timid when he asked that.

Lassiter smiled, calming Shawn's fears. "Very."

--

"Hey, Shawn!" Henry called you his boy, who had just walked through the door from school.

"Hey, Dad." Shawn answered, dropping his backpack and making his way to the kitchen. "What's up?"

"Not much…hey, would you gut that fish for me? Hastings is trying to impress his newest girlfriend with a home cooked meal."

"Does it count when _you_ cook the meal and not him?"

"It does when she doesn't know about it." Henry laughed. Shawn stepped forward, and took the long knife and began cutting up the fish, a smirk on his face. "So, you have a date tomorrow, huh?"

"Yup…"

"Is it another code teal?" Henry snickered, Shawn threateningly held up the knife he was holding and the cop began to laugh. "All right…all right. I get it." He shook his head, laughing, before asking. "So…are you excited?" Shawn bit his lip, before nodding. "Nervous?" Shawn nodded without hesitation, "Don't be. I can tell that boy really likes you. You don't have much to worry about."

Shawn smiled, and without looking up at his dad he said quietly, "Thanks, dad." Henry just smiled fondly.

Shawn opened his mouth to say something to his dad, but when he looked up he didn't see his dad. Hell, he didn't even see his kitchen.

He was in the Peterson's house, they lived in the house behind his. They were a nice family, Shawn babysat the kids whenever they needed a babysitter. The kids loved him, and he loved them too. But he wasn't in the house babysitting. He was in their kitchen, he could see the four (Angela the mother, Brent the father, Abby the four year old and Tetra the one year old) all sitting in the living room from where he was in the doorway. He glanced to his left to see the oven, cupcakes baking inside. Shawn's eyes widened as a spark from the old light above it went off and the gas oven literally exploded.

"Huhnhh!" Shawn blinked, horrified, as he sliced deep into his right palm with the knife.

"Shawn!" Henry grabbed a dishtowel and quickly pressed it to Shawn's palm, tying it tightly around his hand. "What are you-?" Henry stopped at the look on his son's face. "Shawn? Shawn!"

"The Peterson's house is on fire!"

"What?" Henry followed his son's line of vision out the window. They looked across their back yard and to the Peterson's yellow house. They could see a TV going through the window to the farthest left of the house. They watched, horrified, as a bright flash lit up the room to the farthest right.

Without speaking the two ran out their back door and into the back yard. They jumped over the four-foot high wife fence like Olympic track stars and into the Peterson's back yard. "Get the kids out, Shawn." Henry ordered as they threw open the Peterson's unlocked back door, "I'll get Angela and Brent out." Shawn nodded and ran into the living room.

"Uncle Shawn?" Abby asked, confused, as she looked from the kitchen to Shawn "What're you doin' here? What're mommy and daddy doing?"

"Abby, your mommy and daddy are with _my_ daddy, ok? They're fine but they'll be mad if you don't come with me, ok?" Shawn said quickly, as he carefully lifted Tetra from her playpen.

"Mad? Why?"

"You remember when the firemen came to your school?" He asked quickly, ushering the girl out the door, who nodded. "Well, you know how he said you need to get out if your house is on fire?"

Abby's eyes widened. "There's a fire?!"

"Not a big one, don't worry. You just need to stay out here, ok?" Shawn asked as they stopped by the wire fence. Abby nodded. Tetra began to fuss in Shawn's arms, he quickly bounced her, trying to comfort her, as he looked anxiously at the house, wondering where his father was. It was then that he saw Angela running out the door.

"Mommy!" Abby cried, running for her mother. Angela quickly picked up her pace and ran for her daughter.

"Oh my god, baby! You're ok!" She sobbed. "Shawn. How—how did you-?"

"Where's Brent? My dad?" He quickly asked, as he handed Angela her daughter.

"They're inside, but-Shawn!"

Shawn was already running at full speed towards the house. For good measure he grabbed the hose for the pool which was sitting coiled by the door. He turned it on, the switch at the end of the hose off, and ran into the house. He found he father and Brent trying hard as they could to put out the fire with an almost empty extinguisher and the sink hose. Shawn would have laughed if the situation weren't so dire. Flipping the metal handle at the end of the hose it sprang to life, shooting water out its spout and towards the fire.

"Shawn!" Henry barked, "What are you doing inside?"

"Thought you might need some help." Shawn yelled, coughing a bit. "Looks like I was right!" The three stood there for about a minute more before the fire was finally put out. They stood panting for a second before they staggered out of the house.

"Brent!" Angela screamed, clutching her husband tightly when he made his way to her.

"We're fine, sweetie, don't worry. We're fine…I—I just-how did you get here so fast?" Brent asked, turning to the Spencers.

"We—we saw the fire out our back window and thought you might need help."

"Thankfully it was a small fire." Henry nodded, glancing at his son, who was straightening up from having been coughing. "Nothing was too damaged. But you'll want to call your insurance agency about smoke damage…"

"And you might want a new oven." Shawn added, smiling slightly. Angela, with nothing better to do, burst out laughing, hugging her children tightly as tears streamed down her face.

Shawn bent over, coughing more. Henry slapped his son's back, coughing himself. Sirens roared near by, pulling up to the Peterson's house. "Aww crap." Shawn moaned.

"What?" Henry asked, turning to his son.

"I'm not gonna get _any_ sleep for my date tomorrow!"

--

_Henry and Shawn are heroes! Woohoo!! And anyway, I'm sorry. I was gonna make their date this chapter but I needed that first scene and then it just didn't seem right. So it'll be next chapter...unless I change my mind again...hehheh! Anyway, its either gonna be the next chapter or the one after that. But most likely next chapter. _

_Thanks for reading guys! Until next time!_

_-claire_


	7. Chapter 7

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find **

**Chapter 7**

**Special thanks** to Squeedle, aka **xX Jujumagumbo . Hollabackatcha Xx**, for being awesome and saying nice things about me, I dedicate this chapter to you!

**Note**: Now, I've never had a boyfriend but I have been on a date before, so the date scene is based off of that day. Hopefully you'll like it :D

Enjoy!

--

"Damnit, Shawn, I'm not gonna say it again."

Shawn curled tighter into himself as Gus growled at him. After the incident at the Peterson's house the previous night Shawn and Henry had to talk to police officers, firemen, people from the insurance agency and even some reporters. They had to sign things and make statements and blah, blah, blah. Shawn still had no idea if what he said to them was coherent, but they seemed to accept it.

They'd also had to get checked out by the EMTs, having to sit with oxygen masks on their faces for an hour. Neither felt like going to the hospital, but after seeing Shawn's wrist and knee they forced Shawn to at least sit in the ambulance and let them check everything out. After being poked and prodded for another hour and a half they let him go with two new braces and orders to 'Take it easy, don't go running into anymore burning buildings.' After that they were finally allowed to climb back over the fence into their own yard - this time with the assistance of a stepladder, because they were too damn tired to vault it.

Shawn didn't even let Henry argue over the shower, not that Henry was going to anyway. From the look on his face he felt bad for Shawn. Henry ended up using the perpetually cold shower in the basement. Shawn would have felt bad, but he was tired, sweaty and covered in ashes, so at that point he didn't give a rat's ass.

Long story short, they didn't get to climb into bed until the sun started to rise. Neither would have gotten up when they did at one o'clock in the afternoon if Gus hadn't come over, demanding to know why the hell a partially coherent Shawn and Henry had been on the news that morning. "A fire?! And you didn't _call_ me?!" He'd yelled, making both somnolent men jump.

"I was tired." Shawn whined, while Henry mumbled something about coffee and stumbled into the kitchen.

That had been two hours ago, and Shawn had since fallen asleep four times during his conversations with Gus. "Shawn." Gus said again. "I'm _not_ gonna-"

"Say it again, I know." Shawn mumbled, forcing himself to sit up. "You said that already."

Gus rolled his eyes, simply responding. "I'll let you fall back to sleep once I've accomplished my mission."

"Mmm, yea ok." The psychic rubbed at his eyes and yawned. "What cha' got?"

Gus pointed to the three shirts hanging on hooks by the door, while in his hands he held a pair of clean, non-torn jeans. Shawn blinked at the shirts. "They're all in yellow hues?"

"According to Juliet, its Lassiter's favorite color." A smile spread across both their faces.

"I love you man."

"I don't swing that way."

"Obviously, how's it going with Jules?"

"She's…" Gus trailed off, a dreamy look in his eye.

"Interested." Shawn said with an affirmative nod. "Your first dates in two weeks."

Gus's eyes widened, "Wait, what?"

"You're gonna ask her out next week, she's gonna say yes and in two weekends you'll be on your first date."

A wide smile spread across his face, "She'll say yes?"

"Who wouldn't?"

"Got that right."

Shawn snorted and stood, walking to the clothing. The first choice was a golden sweater over a white t-shirt. The second was a black t-shirt under a plaid yellow button-up. The last was a yellow polo shirt.

"I like the second one." Shawn said, grabbing the hanger. "But I do like that sweater."

"Wear it to your next date."

"Who says there's gonna be a second one?"

"You know there will be, you don't need to be psychic to see that." Shawn smiled. "Here, take this," Gus shoved the jeans at Shawn. "Go shower and change. You've only got a little over two hours 'til your date."

--

"Juliet I-"

"NO ARGUMENTS!"

"I was gonna say I liked it!"

"Oh, well good! Then I was just being psychic!"

"Sure you were."

"What's with the yelling?" The two arguing friends turned to the doorway to see Claudia Lassiter standing there, a perplexed look on her face.

"Lassiter likes to argue with me, so I was stopping him from starting."

"I wasn't going to argue! I _said_ I was going to say I liked it!"

Claudia laughed, "You go, Juliet. It's a difficult task to get these Lassiter men to listen."

Juliet smirked, "Don't I know it."

"Hello? I'm right here!"

The two women turned to Lassiter, smiles on their faces. The mother looked her son over, taking in his outfit of a green unbuttoned polo shirt over a white t-shirt, with a pair of jeans. Claudia took a step forward, outstretching her hands and cupping her son's face. "Oh, baby, I'm so happy for you." She smiled warmly. Her son's eyes widened, "Oh please, don't act so shocked that I figured it out. I was trying my hardest at the dinner to be discrete."

"I knew it! I knew you two were plotting!" He cried, causing Claudia to burst out laughing, Juliet as well.

"Well of course! You two were more awkward than a turtle on its back. You needed a little push."

"I—I-"

"Mrs. Lassiter, I love you." Juliet said from her bent over position, her face red from laughing. Claudia smiled, opening her mouth to respond.

"Hey, isn't your friend's name Spencer?" A new voice floated into the room.

"What?" All three asked at once, turning to George Lassiter in the doorway.

"Your friend, isn't his name Spencer?"

"Shawn Spencer, yea, why?"

"Well, he's in the paper." George handed the half-read newspaper over to his son. Lassiter grabbed it, reading a small article under the headline **Off-duty Cop and Son Save Neighbors from Fire**.

_Last night around seven o'clock Brent and Angela Peterson were watching television with their two young daughters when a loud bang startled them. "It was such a strange sound," Mrs. Peterson told us, "It was like a firework was going off in my house."_

_The two ran to the kitchen to see what had happened, only to find their oven had, quite literally, exploded. They tried frantically to put the fire out, when suddenly they weren't the only ones in the house._

_"The first person I saw was_ _Henry," Mr. Peterson reports, referring to Santa Barbara Police Officer Henry Spencer, who lives in the house behind them. "He came running in and told us his son Shawn had gotten our daughter out, and then told Angela to get out. The two of us tried to put the fire out with a fire extinguisher and a sink-hose, which wasn't working too well."_

"_I'd run out," Mrs. Peterson added, "I found Shawn out on the lawn with my four year old, Abby, and my baby Tetra. As soon as I came out he ran back into the house. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life." _

_Shawn, a seventeen year old, had run back to the house to assist his father and neighbor. On his way he'd grabbed the garden hose, once inside he switched it on. "After that the fire went out pretty fast." Fast enough to be out before the fire department even showed up. _

_The Petersons were very grateful, "Without the Spencers we could have lost our house, our children, our lives, we owe everything to them."_

_When we asked Officer Spencer and his son why he did it they simply responded "We only did our jobs as decent human beings. We're no heroes." _

Lassiter stopped reading and dropped the paper, running to the phone in the hallway, "Oh dear lord," Claudia gasped out, while Juliet had gone pale.

Lassiter frantically dialed the phone number that he'd previously pretended not to have memorized, but at the moment he didn't care. It rang several times until finally, "Hello? Spencer residence."

Lassiter paused, that wasn't the voice he'd been expecting. "Guster?"

"Hey, Lassiter." He greeted brightly.

"What are you doing at the Spencer's?"

"Checkin' up on them. Was there something you needed?"

"Well, apparently we're attempting the same task. Are they all right? I just read in the paper about the fire."

Gus chuckled slightly on the other end, "Yes, they're fine. A little tired, but they're ok."

"Did they really run into their neighbors house while it was on fire?"

"That's the Spencers for ya'." Lassiter sank into the wall, letting out a breath. "Yea, I'd get used to the death-defying stunts. They happen frequently."

Lassiter laughed at that, "Should I cancel our date? Maybe Shawn should just rest-"

"Don't you dare cancel the date. That's the last thing that Shawn needs…besides rest, you're right. But he'd really excited, don't cancel it."

"I'm not saying I want to cancel, Guster. I'm just worried about him-"

"Don't worry. I know that…I gotta go, sounds like Shawn's finally out of the shower. See you at school, Lassiter." Gus hung up before Lassiter got the chance to say goodbye, not that it mattered.

He was too busy thinking of Shawn in the shower.

--

"Do I look ok?"

"Shawn, for the millionth time, you look fine! You smell nice, your pants are on straight—though I'm not so sure about your head."

"Ha-ha. So very funny, dad. I just want tonight to be-"

"Perfect. Yea, I know, son." Henry smiled and placed a hand lovingly on his son's shoulder. "You're gonna have a great time, don't you worry." Shawn smiled at his fathers reassuring words, when suddenly there was a knock at the door, and his smile disappeared. "Go answer it before he leaves, son." Henry grinned.

Shawn paused, nodded and slowly turned to the door. After staring at the knob for too long Shawn finally managed to control his limps and open the door. There stood a nervously smiling Lassiter. "Hey, Shawn." He smiled. At those words Shawn's worries seemed to melt away and Henry could practically see him transform into his normal self.

"Hi, Lassie!" He grinned, "Come in, come in." Shawn pulled his date into his house, not noticing Lassiter sneak his left hand behind his own back. "You know my father."

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Spencer."

"Same to you, son." Henry smiled warmly. "Don't get home too late, OK?" Henry directed to both of them.

"We won't, dad."

"We won't, sir."

The two spoke at the same time. They shared a look, small smiles slipping across their lips. Lassiter looked away, and Shawn couldn't even hide the blush. Henry grinned and shook his head, "Have fun!" He said as he all but pushed them out the door.

Once the front door was shut the two stood on the porch, standing a little awkwardly, though their smiles were true. "So…" Lassiter started, "I—uh…here." Lassiter pulled his left hand forward, looking away with an embarrassed look on his face. In his hand he held a white Begonia, "It's from my mother's garden." He said, still refusing to look up.

Shawn stared at the flower in shock for a moment, before gently taking the flower from Lassiter's hand. When he did so his hand grazed over his date's for a moment, sending identical shivers down their spines. Shawn didn't know what to say. No one had ever done anything this kind for him, this loving. Without thinking Shawn stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Lassiter.

Lassiter stiffened at first, before he relaxed a bit, just in time for Shawn to realize what he was doing and pull back. The younger cleared his throat embarrassedly, "Aha, thanks."

"N-no problem." They stood there for another moment before Lassiter turned a little to the car, "So, uh, you wanna go?"

--

"Have you seen this movie before?" Lassiter asked as they made their way to the concession counter.

"Yea, it's definitely one of my favorites. Tim Curry is hilarious!" Shawn said brightly, popping a piece into his mouth.

"When did it come out?"

"In the eighties. See, that's why I like this theater, it doesn't show new movies, but old classics. It's awesome!" The two made their way into one of the four screen rooms. There were three other people already seated, the opening credits already starting.

"Small crowd." Lassiter whispered.

"Mmmh." Was all Shawn said in response as they found a seat near the middle of the left section of seats – where Shawn always sat when he went there. No one else sat in the section, for some reason. The two plopped down – Lassiter on the right, Shawn on the left – and began to munch happily on their snack, watching as the movie began.

They were only a little into the movie when they finished their popcorn. They were at a part where all the guests had arrived for a party, each one with a name of a character from the game: Mr. Green, Colonel Mustard, Ms. Scarlet…

Shawn snickered at one of the lines when Lassiter did something that shocked him, an arm snuck itself around Shawn's shoulders. Lassiter had just put his arm around him. Shawn couldn't stop himself from turning to the senior in shock. Lassiter didn't look at Shawn, he kept staring forward, a slightly panicked look in his eye, as if he were afraid Shawn would push him away.

A soft smile slipped across the younger man's lips and he turned back forward, leaning his head on Lassiter's shoulder. Lassiter's tense shoulders relaxed at that and the two remained like that for the rest of the movie, Shawn snaking his right hand over to Lassiter's free right hand on the other side of the teen, grasping it for the remainder.

When the credits began to roll after the third ending neither boy moved. The older couple who'd been in the back of the middle set of seats stood, chatting to themselves about the movie and they left. Still neither boy moved, they didn't want the date to be over.

"What time is it?" Shawn finally asked, sounding reluctant.

Lassiter twisted his right hand, still not letting go of Shawn's hand, to check his watch. "A little past nine."

"Eh, we still got like two hours before my dad will call the SBPD on us." Shawn mumbled, actually nuzzling himself into the older boy's shoulder. Shawn could feel a slight shiver go through Lassiter. Maybe it was because there was no eye contact, or no needed dialog, but whatever the reason was both boys were beyond comfortable, not an ounce of awkwardness in the air.

They heard the door open and saw the light come across the floor, a shadow indicating someone had come to see if the two of them were still in the theater. "I think we have to leave." Lassiter said in a quiet, gentle tone.

"I don't want to."

"Me neither, but I think another movie is gonna start soon."

"They can wait."

"I think your dad might be a little unhappy with me if I got us arrested in a movie theater."

"Pssh, worry-wart. They'd never arrest us for sitting here."

"Come on, why don't we get a bite to eat or something? There's a diner the next block over."

Shawn paused, "I can deal with that." Both boys slowly untangled themselves from each other, both with slightly reluctant looks on their faces. They walked out the door, one of the workers giving them a look as he went into the theatre with a broom in hand. As they pushed open the mail doors and silently agreed to walk to the diner Lassiter slipped his hand into Shawn's.

The two walked hand in hand, feeling more comfortable and confident than they ever had before.

--

_So, did it live up to your expectations? I hope so! Thanks for reading!_

_-claire_


	8. Chapter 8

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 8**

**Note**: Sorry this is a little late, guys. The school year is coming to an end, and they have been loading the shit down hard. I only have two weeks left (and next week is only 4 days!) but then after that I have exams until the 23rd, its only five days worth, but its spread across three weeks for some retarded regents reason, so updates are gonna be a little slow. I'm really sorry guys, but exams _do_ need to come first –depressed sigh–

Ahem, anyway! ENJOY!

--

The car pulled into the drive way hesitantly, as if its driver didn't want to be there. Inside Carlton Lassiter tightened his grip on the wheel a little before turning to his passenger, Shawn Spencer, who was staring at his with a strange, dreamy look in his eye.

The two just stared at each other for a long moment, words not needed. For once the silence wasn't this crushing, paralyzing, awkward quiet. It was…

"Perfection." Shawn spoke aloud.

Lassiter's lips quirked up a bit, "Excuse me?"

"This night. It was…"

"Perfection." They said at once, soft, almost embarrassed smiles creeping across their lips.

"Its definitely something I want to do again."

"Me too, definitely."

There was another moment of the tender silence, before Shawn leaned forward and kissed Lassiter on the cheek. "I had a really good time." He said quietly, before pulling back fully.

A blush found its way into Lassiter's cheeks, "Me too, Shawn." He said equally quiet.

Shawn smiled and opened his car door. "I'll call you later…night, Lassie."

"Night, Shawn." He said back as the door shut. He sat in the driveway, watching as Shawn walked slowly to the front door, as if he didn't want to leave. When he finally unlocked the door and opened it he turned and gave Lassiter a heartwarming smile and a half wave. Lassiter returned the half wave and Shawn disappeared into the dark inside of his home.

Lassiter gently touched his cheek, a warmness creeping through his whole body from that one spot. "Good night, Shawn." He whispered again, his eyes drifting up to Shawn's bedroom window, where the had just turned on, before he put the car in reverse and pulled away, not so unaware of the figure that watched him from that same window.

--

Shawn watched Lassiter pull away from his bedroom window, the smile still on his face. He stayed there, leaning on the windowsill like some clichéd movie heroine. He continued to watch long after the taillights went out of view. Only when he heard a voice from the doorway did he tear his eyes away.

"Have a good time?" The amused voice of his father asked.

Shawn turned and smiled dreamily at his father, who stood holding a half-drunk, half-cold coffee mug.

"You could say that."

Walking to his bed Shawn let himself fall onto it, lying on his back and looking upside-down at his father. Henry had a pleased look on his face, his eyes filled with happiness for Shawn. "I'm glad, son." He said, his voice conveying the joy in his eyes.

Shawn didn't bother to reply, his smile just widened and he closed his eyes, drifting off. Henry shook his head, the fond smile still on his face, before reaching onto the wall and flicking the lights off.

"G'night, lover boy."

--

It was only until eight AM that Gus could hold himself from calling. Shawn lazily reached and answered the phone beside his bed. "H'llo?"

"So, how was it??"

"Hmm?"

"How was last night??"

"Gus it's like two AM."

"It's eight, Shawn."

"Same thing. I'm gonna hang up and you can call me later." Shawn actually had no intention of doing that, he was now fully awake and ready to relay the previous nights events to his best friend. He just liked to make Gus squirm.

"If you hang up I'm just gonna come to your house and smack you until you tell me every detail."

"That's kinky and creepy…too bad you're like a brother to me. Incest isn't really a turn on-"

"Shawn."

"All right, all right, fine." Shawn sat up, trying to remember how he'd gotten out of his jeans and under the covers as he did so, before clearing his throat theatrically to begin. He relayed everything, the flower, the shock of Lassiter putting his arm around him, the holding hands, the diner, the kiss on the cheek. Gus didn't interrupt, except a few 'No way!'s here and a gasp 'Aww, really??' there. Shawn finally concluded with, "It was…I mean, I don't even know what to say, Gus."

"Wow, that's a first."

"Seriously! I mean, no words can describe this kind of perfection."

"I'm sure there's several you just don't know."

"Stuff it, big boy."

Gus just snorted, "So there was no kiss? Like on the lips?"

"A girl does not kiss and tell, Gus."

"But you did kiss, and you did tell."

"That's on the cheek, it doesn't count."

"So a kiss on the cheek isn't a kiss?"

"Of course it is."

"You just contradicted yourself."

"You just contradicted your mom."

"Wow, that was mature."

"Can we get back to the topic of my date, please?!"

"Right. Sorry…so you didn't _kiss_ kiss him, eh?"

"No. I felt like he would think I was easy if I did."

"Shawn, anyone who's spent five seconds with you knows that you're not easy in _any_ sense of the word."

"_Thank_ you, Gus!" Shawn said, sounding genuinely grateful, "…I think."

Gus snorted and shook his head. "I can't believe he brought you a flower that's so…for lack of a better word, _cute_."

"I know, right?! I couldn't stop myself from jumping on him when he did that, I mean it was so…heart warming. I couldn't help it."

"Oh my God, that's adorable." Gus paused for a second before saying, "You do realize we sound like total girls right now, don't you?"

"Hey, I'm gay. What's your excuse?"

--

"You gave him a _flower_?!" Juliet squealed into the phone, making Lassiter jump and pull the phone from his ear – giving him an intense sense of déjà vu.

"Well, yea…"

"Oh my _God_, Carlton, that is the cutest thing _ever_!!" He could just see Juliet bouncing with excitement, "You've got to be the most amazing boyfriend ever to grace mankind."

"I–ha, I'm not his boyfriend."

"Oh please, you totally are. I mean he freaking kissed you!"

"On the cheek."

"That's still a kiss!"

"I know…"

"Oh my God. This is so cute…I literally have no words for this. Oh my God, Carlton…"

"God's probably annoyed that you keep saying his name." Lassiter joked.

"Oh hush, you. Do not interrupt me while I'm praising you're adorable-ness!"

"I am a Lassiter and if there's one thing we Lassiters are not it is _adorable_."

"Oh please, if there's one thing you Lassiter men _are_ it's ridiculous." Came Claudia Lassiter's voice from the doorway. The teen turned to see his mother standing there, wearing a thin, light pink robe over he long nightgown, smirk on her face.

"Hey, Juliet, can I call you back? My mom has that 'I want to talk to you really, really badly but I'm trying as best as I can to suppress it' look on her face."

"What?" Claudia laughed.

"Oh, I know that look. Go, chat with her. But you damn well better call me as _the second_ you are done chatting!!"

"I will, later Jules." It wasn't until after he hung up that he realized he'd used Shawn's nickname for Juliet.

"So," Claudia said, taking her son from his thoughts, as she came and sat on the edge of his bed that he lay on. "I was already asleep when you got home last night…how was it?" She seemed to be suppressing a girlish excitement similar to Juliet's.

"It was…amazing." Lassiter said, blushing a little as his mom laughed excitedly. He felt like a teenage girl chatting with her mother about whatever girls talked about. He was almost waiting for something about the _monthly cycle_ would pop up, if it did he knew he would be permanently scarred.

And yet, he loved talking to his mother like this. He did it all the time. Ever since he was a little boy, an awkward, quiet little boy, his mother had always been his best friend. He always knew he could talk to her about something, anything.

And Shawn was _definitely_ something.

"He loved the flower." He laughed a little, "Thanks for letting me take on, again."

"Oh please, that is damn near one of the cutest things I've ever heard. How could I say no to my baby boy trying to impress his little boyfriend?" She said in a gushy baby-talk voice as she patted him on his cheeks. Lassiter swatted her hands away.

"He hugged me as soon as I handed it to him." Claudia let out a loud 'Aww!!' and the teen shook his head. "You and Juliet are one in the same, I swear. She had all the same reactions in all the same places."

Claudia snorted and shook her head. "So, what else? Did anything else happen? A kiss maybe??"

Lassiter looked away and, blushing deeply, said "He kissed me on the cheek before he left." Claudia let out another loud profession of her excitement.

"What's all this noise about?" The two turned to see George standing in the doorway, a steaming coffee mug in hand.

"Carlton's just telling me how his little date went last night."

"Mom!"

"You went on a date last night?"

"Yes, honey, didn't you notice when Juliet was here and picking out an outfit for him?"

"_Mom!_"

"Oh, sweetie, calm down."

"Who'd you go out with? That boy we went to dinner with…uh, Shawn?"

Lassiter could remember when he came out to his parents. Well, his father. His mother had actually _told_ him he was gay before he got to courage to tell her. He was a little nervous about his dad, and when he finally got the balls to do it he stood next to his mother, looked his father in the eye and said, 'Dad, I'm gay.'

He'd been prepared for rage, for tears, for any extreme emotion. What he was not prepared for was the blank stare. 'So…you're happy, so what?'

George Lassiter could be so clueless sometimes.

That particular statement literally made Claudia burst into tears she was laughing so hard. It wasn't until she'd caught her breath that she'd explained her husband's error in thinking. His only response to that had been, 'Ooh…so you like men, so what?' Lassiter was beyond happy that his father had reacted that way, but George still had yet to live that night down.

"Yes, I took Shawn to the movies."

"Aww, well isn't that sweet!" George said in a high-pitched imitation of Claudia. In retaliation she threw a t-shirt, which had been neatly sitting on the chair near Lassiter's bed, at her husband hitting him right on the head were it sat until he pulled it off.

"Mature, Clauds."

"Don't provoke me and I won't throw things at you, dear."

"So you gonna do it again?"

"Throw a t-shirt at you?"

"I was talking to our son, _dear_."

Lassiter laughed aloud and shook his head at his parents. On the outside the Lassiter parents seemed like no-nonsense, strict, well-to-do parents, and sometimes they were, but when it was just them in the house…lord, they were like two school children. Cutting in before his mother could say another childish comment, Lassiter responded, "Go on another date? Yea. We both agreed its something we want to do again. He said he'd call me."

"Code for don't go for the phone if it rings because you may lose an arm." George called behind him as he walked down the hallway. Claudia laughed and stood to follow her husband.

Before leaving she turned to Lassiter and kissed him tenderly on the forehead, "I'm happy for you baby, you deserve each other."

Lassiter smiled and his mother walked out. He sat there for a moment, just contemplating everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. He was pulled from his thoughts when the phone rang. He leaned over and checked the caller ID to see it was a certain best friend of his. He picked the phone up.

"Jesus, Juliet, are you watching me through the window or something?!"

--

_Hehe, that made me smile. :D And wow, there was a lot of dialog in this chapter…eh, whatever. Hope you enjoyed it, and sorry it took longer than intended!_

_Thanks for reading!!_

_-claire_


	9. Chapter 9

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 9**

**Note**: Woo! Sorry this took so long guys, I really am. But its final exam weeks and you know what that means…Claire does not have much fanficing time. But since I know this is late, guess what? There's lots of SHAWN-ANGST in this chapter! YES!

Beware the foul language at the end!

Enjoy!

--

Despite the great few days he'd had Shawn couldn't fight this strange foreboding feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was going to happen today, but he had no idea what. He just hoped it had nothing to do with Lassiter. He pushed the thoughts aside and focused on all the good things that had happened to him. His life was great, so why was he trying to ruin it?

"Hey, Shawn!" The teen turned as his name was called, smiling when he saw Gus making his way towards him. Shutting his locker, which he'd been mindlessly starting into for several minutes, he smiled at his friend.

"Hey Gus," He greeted warmly as they began to walk towards the gym foyer door out to the courtyard that sat next to the football field. They made their way to their lunch tree. "How was the rest of your Sunday evening?" The previous night the two had had their weekly movie night, ordered pizza and watched their favorite movie of all time – _the Sound of Music_.

"I watched _Mary Poppins_ as soon as you left." Gus grinned.

"No way! I watched it as soon as I got home!" Shawn laughed. "Julie Andrews is a goddess."

"I hear that." They fist-bumped before going around opposite sides of their table to sit against the tree trunk as they always did. "So, you see Lassiter yet today?"

"No, but I mean we did talk on the phone Sunday, before I went to your house. But I told you about that."

"Yea, you guys were thinking about hanging out on Friday, right?"

"Yea…they doesn't seem too soon does it?"

"No. I mean, you both agreed on that day, its not like you begged for it and he didn't want to."

"I guess. Maybe he was just being polite."

"I will kill you, Shawn." Gus threatened, as he always did when Shawn put himself down.

"Why are you killing Shawn?" A new voice asked and they turned to see Juliet and Lassiter placing their lunch bags down and sitting.

"Because he's jealous of my hair." Shawn offered her with a smile, she grinned back and Shawn let his eyes drift to the male sitting across from him. "Hey, Lassie." Shawn said almost softly, with a smile.

"Hey, Shawn." The senior said with a similar smile. "How was your weekend?"

"_Fantastic_, and yours?"

"Pretty damn good."

"Oh God, the flirting." Gus whispered to Juliet, pretend gagging. Juliet laughed and smiled as the two turned beat red.

"Oh, they're blushing!"

"Shut up." They said at once, blushing deeper.

The other two laughed again, and Shawn quickly spoke, trying to get the topic from him and Lassiter. "Gus and I were on Julie Andrews kicks this weekend."

"Oh, I love her!" Lassiter said, a little too excitedly. He blushed embarrassedly and murmured something about _the Sound of Music_ being his favorite movie.

"That's my favorite movie too!" Shawn cried, "We'll have to watch it together sometime." Shawn said that a bit too excitedly, but Lassiter smiled.

"Yea, definitely. That's what we could do this weekend." During their phone call the two had been unsure of what they wanted to do. They were thinking maybe bowling or something but that wasn't that great an idea.

"Yes! Perfect!" Shawn clapped his hands excitedly. The two just smiled at each other for a long moment, then:

"Uh, Juliet, could I uh, talk to you for a second…over there?" Shawn glanced over as Gus spoke. His eyes widened excited as he knew what was about to happen.

"Sure, Gus." She said with a confused smile on her face.

"He's gonna do it." Shawn whispered excitedly to Lassiter.

"Finally!" The older teen said, laughing at the look Shawn gave him. "Please, you're not the only one trying to play matchmaker with those two."

"Wow," Shawn said dreamily, staring at Lassiter, "You're even more perfect than I thought." The older teen blushed yet again and turned to look at their other two friends. Shawn turned and looked, watching Juliet as Gus stumbled over his words. He stared at the girl and several thoughts that he'd been having the past few weeks filled his head. He was worried Juliet didn't actually like him, like she was just putting up a show for her best friend because Lassiter liked Shawn (he did right now anyway, 'cause as Shawn knew, good things didn't last very long).

He worried that she didn't actually wish to be his friend, just Lassiter and Gus. Maybe she found him too annoying, too talkative, too obnoxious. He knew he was all these things, he just worried that she wouldn't like him because he really liked her. He wanted to be her friend, and it was different than anyone else. With most people he usually just spoke to them and they were friends, and he didn't really care if it lasted or not. But with Juliet he wanted it to last. He _wanted_ to be her friend. He _needed_ her friendship the same way he needed Gus's. He could always use another Gus. Not many people could stand him for that long.

Could Juliet?

"Oh, he did it!" Lassiter whispered excitedly, pulling Shawn from his thoughts. He focused on the two just as Juliet smiled warmly and, according to her mouth, said _I'd love to, Gus. _Gus seemed to melt with relief at that and smiled. The two started to make their way back to Shawn and Lassiter, who turned away, pretending to not have been staring.

Shawn glanced at his best friend, and as Juliet looked down Gus glanced at Shawn. The teen gave his best friend an excited thumbs up and mouthed to him, _Way to go, buddy!_

--

Shawn walked from his drawing and painting class to gym. Drawing and painting was his second last period of the day, but that little fact wasn't what made the class his favorite. A certain senior he had it with made it perfect. He focused on that as the foreboding feeling got stronger. As he opened the door it was like he hit a brick wall when he entered the gym. "Woah." He mumbled aloud, having to stop and take a breath. He hadn't been hit with that much negative energy at once since he came home to find his mother…

Nevermind.

"Shawn!" Juliet cried from her seat on the bleachers where she was pulling off her flats and pulling on a pair of sneakers. No one bother to change beyond that unless they were wearing a skirt.

"Hey, Jules." He greeted, forcing a smile and pushing the negative feelings he was having to the back of his mind. "You got here before me, that's a first."

"Yea, Conigs let me leave English early since they're just looking over stuff for the exam and we already know I'm exempt."

"Exams? Isn't that a little premature?"

"Yea, well, you'll know once you have her next year. She blows through everything really fast and then reviews for _weeks_." Juliet stood and shook her head.

"Yea…I hope I get exempt." Shawn thought aloud.

"I'm sure you will. From all your classes! Lassiter told me you have like a perfect GPA. That's incredible." She said, looking at him with wonder, like he was a science experiment.

"Uh, thank you." Shawn laughed a little. Slightly excited by the idea that Lassiter spoke about him. "So, do you-"

"Ok, everybody line up!" Their overweight gym teacher cried out, appearing suddenly, causing Juliet and Shawn to jump and stop their conversation.

"I hate gym." Shawn whispered to Juliet as they did as told. He was no longer allowed to use the 'But, I'm injured!' excuse and now had to participate once more.

"At least it's last period." Juliet offered with a grin, but jumped again as their teacher yelled out some more.

She pointed to the first person in the line. "Matt, you're blue team. Uh…person after Matt," She didn't seem to care as she pointed at Juliet, "You're yellow team, and so on with every other person. Blue is on the left, yellow's on the right. Go!"

"Uh, what are we playing?" A freshman asked timidly.

"Soccer!" Their teacher barked, before going off to sit near the door. "Play ball, or whatever."

Shawn groaned as he was put on the opposite team than Juliet. They gave each other jokingly sad looks before running to opposite sides of the gym. Juliet was a goalie and Shawn was one of the defensive players. He didn't really know what to do so he just stood near the goal and kicked at the ball if it came by. From across the gym Juliet couldn't help but laugh at him. Unfortunately, that caused her to let a few balls in throughout the game.

At one point, once he knew what he was doing to her, Shawn started to dance – and rather provocatively at that. Several players just started at him and Juliet heard one of the other players describe it as 'Its like porno meets riverdance.' Juliet couldn't hold it together after that, she burst out laughing and completely missed as a ball came whooshing by and into the goal.

"That's fifteen-ten, blue team wins!" Their teacher cried as she walked out – completely disinterested in her job.

As the other team high-fived, one of the teammates on Juliet's team, Brenda – who'd been rather hostile through the whole game – let out an enraged cry. "Damnit, Juliet!" She screeched, surprising and silencing the teacher-less class. "What the fuck was that?!"

"Woah Brenda...calm down." Juliet said carefully, shocked by the other girl's reaction. She picked up the soccer ball from inside the goal.

"Shut up, don't you tell me what to do!" Brenda angirly shoved Juliet as she got to the goalie.

"Hey!" She and Shawn, who was making his way from across the gym, cried at once. Juliet knew Brenda hated her – why, she had no idea - but she didn't think Brenda would ever get physical.

"Brenda, it's just a game. It's not that big a-" Juliet was cut off as Brenda shoved her again.

"I told you not to tell me what to do!"

"Hey!" Juliet cried again as she regained her balance, dropping the ball. Shawn finally skidded to a halt next to her, realizing now this had been what that foreboding feeling he'd had all day had been for. In the back of his mind he thought of how glad he was that it had nothing to do with Lassiter, but he quickly pushed that aside. He wondered why he'd been hit with such an intense negative feeling when he entered if it was just a fight with another student…something wasn't right about this.

"Jules what's-"

"Stay out of this." The angry teen barked suddenly, "You're not apart of this, fruit cake." She snarled, Shawn's eyes widened in slight surprise at the girl's hostility. It was then that Juliet decided she'd had enough.

"Hey, back off!" She snarled just as venomously, several of their peers gathering (at a safe distance, of course) "Just because you're pissed that everyone _hates_ you doesn't mean you can be a _bitch_ to my _friend_!" The onlookers' eyes widened, Juliet O'Hara rarely had something negative to say, most saw her as the sweet girl anyone could be friends with. But they all knew now what they heard was true, she was a mother hen.

Mess with one of her chicks and she'll claw your eyes out.

Shawn looked at his _friend_ with slight surprise. She really did care that much for him, he really did gain another friend like Gus. With that all his doubts cleared and he straightened up. If Juliet was going to defend his pride, he would defend hers to the death.

Brenda's just rolled her eyes, unfazed, and yelled back without delay, "Please, I'd rather have no friends than your friends. At least I don't associate with two _fags_ and a _colored_." Juliet seemed to flinch as if physically hit, Shawn decided to cut it at that.

"Woooaaah. Two fags and a colored? Really? What, is that a sitcom title from the eighteen hundreds or something?" A few students snickered at that.

Brenda shoved her finger menacingly in Shawn's face, "_Don't_ you talk to me. You are _not_ allowed to talk to me. I don't associate with the likes of _you_."

"The likes of me? Oh! You mean good-looking people. Well, dear Brenda, don't worry. Just put on a little makeup and you could sort of…well, maybe, actually not."

"Shut up you disgusting ass fucker." She barked, still managing to surprise Juliet and Shawn with her cruelty. "This didn't involve you but you just had to make it about yourself, didn't you?"

"Excuse me? I just came over to ask my _friend_ if she was all right when some psycho started screaming at her. You're the one who jumped down my throat." He said as he absentmindedly took a step in front a Juliet, wanting to protect her. He didn't even realize the emphasis he'd put on 'friend'.

"Oh yes, you're such a victim, aren't you, you little sinner? Off fucking a male senior. Does dancing by the flames of hell get you off or something? You disgust me. And I'm obviously not the only one. Your mother thought so too, didn't she? That's why she killed herself. I'm surprised your father hasn't followed suit." Juliet just froze in shock, it was like she had been unaware one human being could be so cruel.

Shawn felt his heart go cold. He couldn't take to hear that again. When Luke had said it he was just trying to get a rise out of Shawn. He probably didn't even really care, it was just fuel for his fire at the time. But Brenda…she—she really meant it. She was disgusted with him and really believed that Shawn's mother had killed herself because of him. The certainty in her statement made Shawn's past feelings of guilt from that terrible time well up again and he couldn't take it anymore.

If she was gonna play dirty then so was he.

"Oh, yea. And ya' know what? While I'm off sinning and making my parents suicidal you know what _your_ family is doing? Hmm, let's see. Your father is getting drunk and beating the shit out of all of you. Your mother is walking a street corner just to get a few bucks for her heroine addiction. Your brother is in _jail_. And all the while you're hiding in the bathroom, sobbing and wondering why the hell your life is so terrible. Ya' wanna know the answer to that Brenda? Huh? Do you? Well I've got the answer."

Shawn took a threatening step forward and Juliet gripped his shoulder. She spoke his name softly, trying to calm and comfort him. But he ignored her, just as he ignored the tears that threatened to well up. "Karma is an even bigger bitch than you are." He barked so harshly that he could feel himself shaking, taking out some of the rage that had been building up for a long while now. Even as he said the words he could feel the noxious guilt building up inside him, despite how much she deserved it. He was practically making himself sick with guilt - guilt for him mom, for what he was saying. But he couldn't stop himself, it was spilling out now and he couldn't stop it even if he tried.

"So, yea, my mother did kill herself. And yea, it was probably my fault. But ya' know what? I'm slightly surprised your mother hasn't killed herself yet, because you are one disgusting _fuck_ of a human being." His words echoed through the gym and Shawn could feel tears starting to well up as his whole body shook with rage and agonizing guilt. He shook his head and turned to walk away. As he bolted out the doors of the gym he could hear Brenda cry out some more vulgarities while Juliet simultaneously cried out his name, but he didn't stop.

But he _couldn't_ stop. He needed to get out of there. With just a few statements from a peer he'd broken. He was _weak_. He felt sick. He couldn't breathe. Everything had been building up over these last few years and he'd let the dam break. He was doomed to drown in himself.

As the tears streamed down his face, he ran out the gym foyer doors and didn't look back.

--

_Woo, some heart-wrenching stuff, there. And Squeedle that conversation we had about gym teachers totally inspired the teacher at the end of the chapter :D Ahahaha…it made me laugh :D_

_Next chapter they all try to find Shawn…guess who actually finds him? Hint: Name starts with 'L' and ends with 'assie' (woo, tough one :D). Love is in the air!_

_Anyway, thanks for reading!_

_-claire_

_PS: I adore Julie Andrews, __the Sound of Music__ is my favorite movie…excuse my fangirling over her this chapter :D_


	10. Chapter 10

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find **

**Chapter 10**

**Note**: Woooaaah, I've made it to double digits?? SWEET! And anyway, I know this took a while guys but here's the scoop: I had finals, and then my mom took me and my sisters to Cedar Point to celebrate, and then I got my finals grades and I did really well on all of them (!!) and then I was a bum for about a week, and now I'm updating! Woot!

This chapter is dedicated to Sqeedle (aka xX Jujumagumbo . Hollabackatcha Xx) because when we chat it gives me ideas and makes me laugh and she's made of all things super awesome :D

Enjoy!

--

As the final bell rang Carlton Lassiter could feel relief fill him. For some odd reason after Shawn left him in eighth period to go to last period he got this odd sensation of…something that he just couldn't place. He was worried, for some reason. It was something in the way Shawn had been carrying himself, something in the way he'd said his words. Something was different about him as he left eighth period, like he was quite literally worried sick about something. But Lassiter couldn't place it.

He shut his locker and turned as he heard his name screamed from down the hall. "Carlton!"

"Lassiter!" It was Juliet and Gus, when they got to him they were panting, hands resting on their knees trying to breathe again. Their looks of panic made the worry rise up in him again.

"What is it, what's wrong?"

"Its…Shawn…" They panted at once.

The worry rose up and overflowed and put him in all-out-panic-mode. "Why? What happened?"

"In gym," Juliet said, finally having caught her breath enough to speak in full sentences, "Brenda Maine, she freaked out for some reason and said all these horrible things. She called him a sinner and a bunch of other things I won't say…but—but she also…"

"What, what is it Juliet? Spit it out!"

"She also…she told him his mother killed herself because of him and she was surprised his father hadn't done so either." Lassiter felt his heart go cold. Everything around him blurred as he was filled with, quite literally, homicidal rage. He was going to rip Brenda Maine apart limb by limb.

But first: he was going to find Shawn.

"Where is he? Do you know where he went?"

They shook their heads, "He just ran out the gym foyer doors." Juliet glanced at Gus, "What? What is it Gus?" Lassiter glanced at the dark skinned teen, only to see Gus looked a little more panicked than the two seniors he was with.

Gus looked down, not meeting their eyes. "Gus?"

"There-there's something you should know." He glanced up, "Its really personal, I mean, Shawn's father and I are pretty much the only two who know about it. I mean, I should probably not even tell you guys, but with what's happening I just thought he might-"

"Gus! Just tell us!" Lassiter cried exasperatedly, feeling the panic rise higher and higher.

"When…when Shawn's mother—died…he sort of went off the deep end." Lassiter's eyes narrowed.

"What does that mean?" Juliet asked, glancing back and forth between her two friends.

"I mean…Shawn was the one who found his mother. When he found her he fell on the floor next to her and just…hugged her. He laid there with her for almost an hour, according to Mr. Spencer. After that Shawn didn't talk to anyone for weeks. He just stayed home, he was just sort of…catatonic. He didn't go to school, I mean, I got his work for him. _Did_ his work for him. But he was so far gone that he…I mean, he…" Gus couldn't finish his sentence.

"Gus," Juliet whispered comfortingly, coaxing her friend into continuing.

"He tried to kill himself." Gus breathed out, squeezing his eyes shut.

Lassiter literally felt his jaw drop, he could hear Juliet let out a strangled gasp beside him. Shawn? Suicide? He would have thought the only things that related those topics would be their first letter. Shawn…Shawn could never…

Lassiter snapped his mouth shut. He couldn't let that happen. He'd only just gotten Shawn, and he knew there was so much more that he didn't know. So much more he had to learn about the boy. So much more he _wanted_ from Shawn. He shook his head and took charge, "That's not gonna happen." The two standing before him looked up. "We can't let it happen. Look, why don't you guys look in all his normal places, I'll drive around. Call his dad too, he'll want to know, I'm sure. And help." Gus and Juliet nodded, straightening up and running off in the other direction.

"Don't you dare do anything stupid, Shawn." Lassiter muttered to himself, making a run for the gym foyer doors.

--

The din of ringing phones and talking officers was the only thing keeping Henry Spencer awake. He'd been staring at this paper work for five minutes now without adding anything to it. He just had this feeling, and he wasn't really sure what it was. He just knew it wasn't good.

Henry had had gut feelings before. When on a case, when on the streets, when with his son. He always knew when something was about to happen (particularly with his son, that's fatherly instincts for you) and he knew to always trust his gut. He just wished he knew what was about to happen.

He jumped as the phone rang, "Santa Barbara Police Department, Detective Spencer speaking."

"Mr. Spencer?" Panic. That was all he could hear. _Damn gut feelings_, he thought, _can't they be wrong just once?_

"Gus? What's going on?"

"Mr. Spencer, it-it's Shawn."

Henry could feel his heart drop. The last time Gus had spoken of Shawn with this amount of worry was when he discovered the scars (only a day after Henry had discovered them) that had lined Shawn's arms the weeks following his mother's death. "What did he do?"

"Something happened, someone said something to him about his mom and he ran out of school, Juliet said he was crying. I—I don't know what he's gonna do-" Henry sat there for a moment. _Shit. Those little _fuckers_!_ "What'd they say? Who said it?"

"Just a girl," _A girl??_ "She said Mrs. Spencer…killed herself because Shawn is gay. And then Shawn told her off, like big time, and you know what that does to him-"

"Oh, fuck." Henry said out loud, causing his partner to look up at him questioningly.

"Mr. Spencer, you don't think he'd-"

"No. No he wouldn't. He's come to far to let some little twit bring him back down." At least, Henry hoped to God so. "Are you kids looking for him?"

"Yea, Juliet and I are looking at all the usual spots, and Lassiter is driving around."

"Ok, it's a big city, so I'll help Lassiter out and drive around. You gonna check the house?"

"We're there now."

"Ok, well, if any of you find him find a phone and call my cell phone, OK?" Henry pulled the chunky machine out of his drawer and stuffed it in his pocket as he stood. "He'll be fine, Gus. Don't worry. I'll kill him if he's not."

There was a slight laugh from the other end of the line, "Yea, yea me too."

"Good luck." Henry quickly placed the phone back on its cradle.

"Somethin' wrong with Shawn?" Hastings asked, concerned.

"Yea. Uh, no. I mean, I don't really know. I'll have to get back to you on that. I'm clocking out." Henry turned and rushed from the building. As he got to the parking lot he jumped into his Crown Vic, feeling more and more panicked with every step. "Don't you dare do anything stupid, Shawn." Henry said to himself as he started the engine and sped away.

--

Gus and Juliet had been driving mainly in silence this whole time, except Juliet asking where they were going next every time they came up empty. Gus was driving, since he actually knew all of Shawn's usual spots, while Juliet looked out the window for the hope he might just be walking down the street.

The air was tense, Gus's knuckles had gone white around the steering wheel. Juliet glanced at him when they hit a stoplight. "So…you and Shawn have been friends since you were little?"

"Since before he could talk."

"Shawn unable to talk? I can't imagine." Gus gave her an appreciative smile at her attempt to ease the tension.

They were silent for a moment more, before Gus furrowed his brow and spoke a little uncertainly, "Shawn…he's always been like a brother to me. We've always told each other everything. I mean, when his mom was first diagnosed, when I found out my parents married only because they'd conceived me…I mean I'm one of the only people who knows he's-" Gus stopped dead, suddenly aware of his surroundings. "I mean, one of the _first_ people to know he was gay." He seemed to blush as he realized he'd just revealed something personal about his own family, and that he'd _almost_ revealed something even more important.

Juliet smiled softly, completely oblivious to the secret she'd almost been told. She patted his knee, as if to say _Don't worry, I won't tell anyone_. They sat in silence for a moment more, then Juliet spoke again. "Do you…do you really think Shawn will hurt himself?"

Gus paused, concentrating hard on the road. "I…I don't. He's been through a lot of shit in his life, and he's come really far to overcome it all, and I don't…I don't think he'll hurt himself again. I think he just needed to get away. But I…" He bit his lip, a let out a single, humorless laugh, "but I'm no psychic." He glanced at Juliet, a little worried. "What if he does?"

Juliet squeezed his knee, which she had yet to remove her hand from. "Then we'll be there to pick him back up."

Gus nodded, looking a little reassured, he narrowed his eyes at the road. "Don't you dare do anything stupid, Shawn." He whispered aloud.

--

Lassiter released his tight grip on the steering wheel, allowing blood to flow through his fingers once again. He let himself fall back against his seat as he killed the engine. He'd been searching for about three hours now, and when he'd found a payphone and called Mr. Spencer's cell (as he'd been told to do when he checked in at the house an hour and a half prior) he'd been told they had yet to find him. Now here Carlton Lassiter sat, in the parking lot of his own favorite spot: the far, west end of the beach. Pretty much no one came to this end of the beach because it was mainly short rock ledges. But on the other side of the rocks, a little ways walk, was a small beach area.

Lassiter opened his car door and proceeded to walk towards the unknown-to-most area. As he walked he tried to remember what had drawn him to the area. It wasn't that he'd given up on finding Shawn, he just…wanted to think. Was that even it? He wasn't sure. He'd just unconsciously driven to his favorite area. _I'll sit for a minute_, he thought to himself, _then I'll check in with the others again_. He climbed over some rocks that were on the path to his spot, as he jumped down he felt himself freeze in surprise when he saw who was sitting on the sand.

"Shawn?"

The figure sitting in the middle of the small beach turned to look at Lassiter. His eyes were bloodshot, but at seeing the senior a smile played across his lips. "Hey, Lass."

"Shawn." Lassiter said again, taking three quick strides to the teen, he dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around Shawn. "We've all been so worried about you!"

"Sorry." Lassiter pulled back to see Shawn's weak smile fading. "I didn't mean to worry you all."

"Why are you here?"

"I knew you liked it here."

"What? How." Shawn didn't answer as Lassiter let himself fall into a sitting position beside Shawn. "Shawn…" He started.

"Gus told you, didn't he?" Lassiter bit his lip, "It's ok. I guess if you still feel like dating me that might be essential knowledge."

"What do you mean 'if I still feel like it'?"

"What, you still want to after the past three hours?"

"Shawn. Don't give me that." Lassiter looked deeply into Shawn's eyes. Shawn let another small smile slip across his lips before looking back out at the water.

"There's something I have to tell you." They both said at once. They both let out single laughs, "You first." Shawn nudged Lassiter's knee with his own.

Lassiter nodded again, pausing before staring. "Shawn…I-I was really worried. After what Gus told me I nearly cracked. I just wanted to find you as fast as I could and…and make it better." He blushed a little at his choice of words and Shawn's lips upturned again as he chuckled a bit. Lassiter as he began to speak his next words, as if looking for something that might interrupt him. "I—I've never felt this way about anyone before. Not after two minutes, not after two weeks, not after two _years_. I mean, I don't know how to describe it other than…other that you—you're someone special. And I don't want to lose you…I mean, I-I just got you." He took Shawn's hand in his. "You're something extraordinary."

The small smile was still on Shawn's tear-stained face. "Oh, Lassie." He whispered, "I know you've been trying to say that for a while now…but you kept getting interrupted."

Lassiter laughed a little, "Yea…I have. But, how did you know?"

Shawn glanced out back to the water once more, this time Lassiter followed his gaze. The water was shimmering with the evening sunlight. The sky was just starting to fade into pink as the sun began its slow descent into the horizon. It was a beautiful sight. "That has to do with what I have to tell you." Shawn said, neither taking their eyes from the horizon. "But not…not now." Lassiter, without a second thought, brought his arm up and around Shawn's shoulder. Shawn let his head fall onto the other boy's shoulder.

They stared at the water for a moment, until Lassiter spoke again, not taking their eyes from the water. "We need to call the others, you know." He said quietly.

"I know." Shawn whispered, "But not now." He repeated his earlier words. "Now…I just want to watch the sunset."

"Ok," Lassiter said. He tightened his arm around Shawn, "I'm glad I met you Shawn." He whispered.

"So am I, Lassie. So am I."

--

_Hey guys! Woo, sorry, it's been a while hasn't it? Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Because I love the shmoof between those two, it's just soooo delectable. _

_I'm not gonna be home for the next 5 weekends, so I'm planning/hoping to get the updates in during the weekdays. So look out then! _

_Thanks for reading, guys!_

_-claire_


	11. Chapter 11

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find **

**Chapter 11**

**Note**:Hellooo! I know what you're asking yourself: holy crap, another update this fast?! Well, yes, I'd like to say the answer is because I'm awesome but I have ulterior motives. See, on Friday my family is leaving on vacation and I won't be back on here until the 20th. So I'm trying to be a nice author and give you something to tide you over for my absence…and also I'm trying to keep you hooked so you don't forget me :D

Anyway, enjoy!!

--

Henry Spencer pulled into his own driveway, defeat smacking him hard in the face as he did so. Gus and Juliet sat on the porch, the two having decided to wait at the house in the case of Shawn's return after they looked at all his normal places. They looked at him beggingly as he got out of his car and all he could do was shake his head, the teen's shoulder's slumping in defeat.

He made his way towards the porch when the cell phone in his pocket began to ring. He had it flipped open and pressed to his ear before the first ring had finished. "Hello?"

"Mr. Spencer?"

"Carlton!" Both the teens with the panicked father jumped up again. "Did you find him?"

"I did." With those two syllables Henry felt all the panic and worry over the past few hours melt away. He practically fell to the ground from the relief. He forced himself up the three steps onto his porch and fell into one the wicker chairs. He glanced at Gus and Juliet and smiled, causing the two to all but scream with joy, both jumping up and down at the small victory.

"Is he all right? He didn't…do anything?"

"No sir, he's fine. I found him on a small cove on the west end of the beach about half an hour ago."

"Where are you now?" Henry asked, speaking more like himself now that he wasn't so wracked with worry.

"We're still at the beach, I'm calling from a pay phone in the parking lot. I thought I'd call you since we're headed to your house now, incase you were still out driving."

"No, no. I'm at the house now with Gus and Juliet." Henry paused, something the boy said sticking in his head. He glanced up at Gus and Juliet as he asked, "What were you two doing for half an hour if that's when you found him?" Gus and Juliet's eyebrows raised and they both shared knowing smirks, despite their previous panic.

"Well…we—um…" He could just picture the boy's blush as he stumbled over his words. "We were, um, watching the sun set…sir."

"Watching the sun set?" Henry smiled, smirking at the teens with him. The relief was making the older man downright giddy. "All right, but you're coming home now?"

"Yes, sir."

"And Shawn is all right?"

"He's fine, sir."

"Boy, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me 'sir'."

"Sorry, s—I mean, Mr. Spencer."

Henry smiled, letting his eyes slip closed. "See you boys in a bit, then."

"Goodbye s-Mr. Spencer." The line went dead and Henry snapped the large cell phone shut, slipping it back in his pocket. He stood up, "He says Shawn is fine, they're heading home now."

"They were watching the sun set?" Juliet asked, obviously trying to suppress how adorable she thought that was.

"That's what he said." Henry unlocked the door and ushered the two inside. "You kids want some coffee? Lord knows I need a cup…"

--

Lassiter placed the public phone back onto its vertical cradle and turned to where Shawn sat on a picnic table behind him, smiling. His smile drew great contrast to the bloodshot eyes that had obviously been shedding tears for hours. "Was he mad at me?" Shawn asked.

"Why would he be mad at you?"

"Who wouldn't get mad if their son pulled this stunt?"

"Shawn, you know he's not mad at you. He knows the situation better than anyone." Lassiter sat next to Shawn on the top of the table, their feet resting on the actual seat. Shawn scooted closer to the older teen so their knees lightly clanged together. Lassiter, in return, gently placed his hand atop his newly-deemed boyfriend's, which rested on the table between their thighs.

They sat there like that for a moment, Shawn staring down at their hands. "I'm sorry." He whispered turning his head towards Lassiter, though still staring at their hands.

"Please don't apologize, Shawn." Lassiter said in an equally quiet tone, turning his head so their noses bumped each other's lightly.

Shawn lifted his eyes to Lassiter's, "You're eyes are so blue." He whispered, their lips coming closer.

"Shawn…" Lassiter breathed out, leaning in.

Their lips were just about to touch when Shawn pulled away.

Lassiter didn't move for a moment, blinking, unsure of what happened. Shawn, seemingly panicked, jumped off the table, pulling his hand from Lassiter's. He began an almost pacing movement in front of the table.

"Shawn?"

"I—I can't. Not yet."

"Shawn, its ok, if you don't-"

"Its not that I don't _want_ to." He rambled, "Its just, you don't know yet. You don't _know_. I can't do this if you don't know."

Lassiter looked at the teen before him in confusion. With furrowed brows he asked, "Does this have to do with what you wanted to tell me?"

Shawn stopped turning to Lassiter. Like a light switch his demeanor changed. He shook his head, a small smile breaking out on his face. "You would think you were _psychic_…" He chuckled slightly.

"Shawn…?"

The troubled teen shook his head again and took a step so he was standing right in front of Lassiter. Taking both of his boyfriend's hands in his he said, "I can't tell you yet. Not here. I mean, this is the _perfect_ setting but…I can't yet. But I will. I promise." Shawn stared up at Lassiter with an unreadable look on his face.

Lassiter nodded in understanding, squeezing Shawn's hands in his, "You tell me when you're ready."

Shawn's smile widened. "Thank you, Lassiter." He said seriously. Then, with that he pulled the senior from the table gently. "Come on, my dad'll come looking for us soon if we don't go."

"Uh, yea." Lassiter said, nodding, though still bewildered. "You're right. Let's go."

--

Shawn had barely made it through the doorway when he was pulled into a crushing hug. "Dad-?"

"Don't you dare scare me like that again, Shawn."

Shawn awkwardly hugged his father back. From the corner of his eye he could see Lassiter make a nodding movement to his other two friends, all three of them going to the kitchen to give the father and son some privacy.

Henry tightened his hold of his son, as if afraid to let go. "Dad, I'm sorry." Shawn whispered, burying his face into his father's shoulder. "I didn't want to scare you. I wasn't going to-"

"Ah, oh God, son." Henry grunted out, obviously fighting off tears. "Don't apologize. Just never do that again." He pulled back, still holding Shawn's shoulders, looking his son in the eyes. "I'm going to keep saying this until you understand, even if I have to physically beat it into your head." Shawn laughed a little, sniffling. "Nothing that's happened ever was or ever will be your fault. Our family has its problems, but you are _not_ the cause of them. You—you're my son. I l-love you." Henry gasped out the last part, as if it pained him that Shawn might think otherwise.

Shawn shook his head, "I know, dad. I _know_ that. I love you too, so much. I—I just…she said you would do what mom did…" Shawn's eyes welled up with tears. "I can't help but think that I-"

Henry pulled Shawn back into a tight hug as the tears started to escape both their eyes. "Oh, my boy." He whispered, cradling the back of Shawn's head, rocking him slightly. "My sweet baby boy. I love you so so much. I'll never leave you. I'll never ever leave you…"

--

When the father and son joined the rest of the group in the kitchen five minutes later it was obvious the three had heard most of the conversation, if Juliet's teary eyes were any indication.

"Do you kids want anything? I think we have some ice cream in the freezer…" Henry sniffled, going to the fridge and busying himself with looking through the freezer.

Shawn smiled apologetically at his friends as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Sorry, guys." He said embarrassedly, "I didn't mean to totally fuck up your evenings."

"Oh, Shawn, that doesn't matter." Juliet said, stepping forward and hugging him tightly. Shawn smiled as she pulled back, a smile on her face as well, "Though after tonight you may never want to hug anyone again."

Shawn laughed at that, turning to his best friend as the dark teen took a step forward. Pulling Shawn into tight hug he said, "Don't you ever, _ever_ do that again."

Shawn patted Gus on the back, "I won't, Gus. I'm sorry." He said quietly, just so his friend could hear him.

Gus pulled back and ran his hand under his nose, "I know, Shawn. Me too." Shawn tilted his head to the side but Henry spoke before he could.

"We have chocolate ice cream, kids. Would you like any? Unless you all want fish." He smiled a little.

"Ice cream, please!" Shawn said with a smile, motioning for his friends to take a seat as he went to get bowls and help his dad scoop some out.

His friends began to chat, trying to bring some remnant of normality for Shawn, which he very much so appreciated. Henry appreciated it as well, apparently, as he said "You have some great friends there, Shawn." He smiled at his son, "They're so…true."

"I know." Shawn said quietly, looking back at the three at the table. Lassiter glanced over and smiled warmly at him, Shawn returning the gesture. "I'm really lucky." He paused, the scoop half way dug into the carton of frozen goodness. "Dad?" Henry looked at his son. "I—I'm going to tell them, dad." He said carefully. Henry's eyes widened a little. "Not tonight. But I…I'm going to. I almost told Lassiter at the beach but I…I wanted to tell you first. I wanted you to know what I was going to do."

Henry bit his lip, before looking back down at the carton of ice cream. He paused for a moment before speaking. "Well, if one good thing has come from today," he started, "It's that I know those two are worthy of knowing. You go ahead and tell them son, if you think its what's right."

Shawn smiled warmly at his father, "I do, dad. Thank you." He said lightly, before pulling the scoop from the ice cream and dropping the big chunk into one of the waiting bowls.

--

_Shawn looked up into his father's terrified eyes. He was holding him at an odd angle, tears in his eyes. Shawn tried to speak but no words would leave his mouth. He could feel something trickling from the corner of his mouth? Was he drooling? No, his mouth tastes like it had when he was six after he, dared by Gus, swallowed a penny. Was he drooling liquid pennies? _

_His vision began to blur around the edges. What was going on? He was starting to get a little scared. He tried to speak, but only managed to move his lips, mouthing one word: _Daddy_. _

_His father's eyes seemed to widen. He could just barely read his fathers lips: _I'm here,Shawn. Shawn. Please, son, please… _What was his father asking of him? Shawn was so confused. Everything began to fade, the blurring becoming more prominent. He watched as his dad looked off to the side, yelling something Shawn couldn't make out from his lips. He looked so scared, so horrified. Shawn had never seen his father like that. He just wanted to console him but he couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. He was cold. So cold… _

_His father faded away into the blackness. And soon Shawn faded away too._

Shawn shot up in bed, drenched in sweat, a strangled scream in his throat.

**-TBC-**

_As always thank you for reading! _

_-claire_


	12. Chapter 12

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

Chapter 12

**Note**: Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I left you for a while, but Arizona was fun! And I know you've all forgiven me for my evil-ness, right? –ducks flying objects–

Enjoy!

--

Shawn was pretty sure he'd never felt this bad in his life. He'd slept maybe the equivalent of an hour, _maybe_. He'd been plagued all night with horrifying dreams. Each one was him, he couldn't hear, he couldn't speak, he couldn't _breathe_. His father sat over him, looking more terrified than Shawn had ever imagined he could be. The feeling around them filled with the stench of blood, lost hope, regret, death.

The lack of sleep wasn't even the worst part, but the residue the dreams left behind. At least, that's what he and Gus had begun to call it. It was when Shawn felt the emotions from his dreams for a while afterwards. That was what was terrifying him. Residue usually only happened with visions. But there was no way that could be a vision. There was no way he had visions of himself dying in his father's arms…

Right?

"You've got to be kidding me!" Came a loud cry from downstairs, pulling Shawn from his thoughts. Pineapple stopped scurrying around in her cage at the call. She seemed to glance at Shawn.

"Its ok, Pine. Dad's probably just on the phone with work or something." The small rabbit seemed to accept that explanation, as she went back to munching on some hay.

Shawn stood, his whole body aching from residue and lack of sleep. His head was pounding and he was sure he looked like crap. He looked down at the clothes he'd haphazardly thrown on at four in the morning when he'd given up on sleeping altogether. They were rumpled, but acceptable. He slowly made his way down the stairs, his father's angry voice floating through the house.

As his father spoke the image of his grandfather entered Shawn's head. Not his Grandpa Lowell, his father's father who loved Shawn very much, as any grandparent would their grandchild. No, the image of his Grandpa Clarence filled his head. His grandparents on his mother's side didn't exactly like Shawn. When he had come out to his family he'd been welcomed by his parents with open arms, as well as Grandpa Lowell. But his ever-religious grandparents from his mother's side had been, well, less than thrilled. They'd even asked his parents if they'd 'Taken care of it yet? I know a nice camp in Illinois where they cure boys like him.' After his parents had been all but disgusted with their reaction both sides of the family hadn't interacted that much since.

Why was Grandpa Clarence in his head?

"Oh, for Christ sakes!" There was a pause as Shawn hit the bottom of the stairs. "I'll say whatever I damn well please! Oh, don't you try to change the subject!" Shawn slipped on his shoes and placed his backpack by the door. "It's his birthday, damnit! Can't you just—no? Well fuck it then! Oh, don't give me that shit…you know what? Forget it! Forget I even called!" Shawn doubted the person on the other end got the chance to respond as his father slammed the phone hard into its cradle. He would have to check if it was broken later.

Shawn tried to piece together what he'd heard. His birthday was in two weeks, was his father possibly talking to someone about him? He didn't get the chance to think about it anymore as his father came stepping into the living room, jumping when he saw Shawn.

"Ah, Shawn. Shit, you scared me."

"Is everything OK?"

Henry ran his hand over his head, looking a little unsure. "Yea, son, everything's fine."

"Was that Grandpa Clarence?" Shawn didn't even comprehend the question until after he'd asked it. Why'd he ask that?

Henry shook his head, laughing humorlessly. "Sometimes I wish you didn't know all the things you know." Shawn just shrugged, waiting for his father to answer his previous question. "Yea…yea, that was your grandpa."

"Were you talking about-"

"You ok? You look like crap." Henry cut off Shawn's question, not wanting to have to say 'Yes, son, we were talking about you. And yes, they still hate you so much that they won't come to visit you on your birthday or even send a fucking card.'

Shawn shook his head, he himself knowing the answer to his question anyway. "Uh, yea, I just didn't get much sleep last night."

"Bad dreams?" Henry asked, concerned. Shawn just nodded. "Visions?"

"No. No, they weren't visions." Shawn said, really trying to convince himself more than his father. Even so, he could never tell his father about what he'd seen all night long, his father would be on panic-mode for months and lock Shawn away in a cell. _It wasn't even a vision_, he kept telling himself.

"You worried about seeing that girl today?" Shawn was tempted to ask 'What girl?' his mind still on his dreams, when he remembered all the terrible things that had happened the previous day.

"No…no. I don't have any classes with her today. I can probably avoid her."

Henry tilted his head to the side, looking his son over. "You sure you're OK? You really look like crap."

Shawn nodded, about to answer when a car horn sounded in the driveway. "There's Gus. I'll see you later dad." Henry bit his lip but nodded, watching his son leave.

--

"You're not even sure if they're visions or not?" Gus asked, as they hit a stop light, panic on his face. Shawn needed to talk to _some_one about his dreams, and Gus seemed like the best candidate.

"They couldn't have been visions. There's no…no way…"

Shawn knew what Gus was thinking, he could all but hear him in his head. _But you had them all night long, you're feeling the residue…doesn't that mean it _has_ to be a vision?_ But what Gus actually said was "Yea…yea, you're probably right. There's no way they could have been visions…" Gus bit his lip and glanced at Shawn as he hit the gas.

"I'm sorry, Gus." Shawn said, shaking his head.

"Why?"

"I shouldn't have told you. Now all you're gonna do is worry."

"I'm not worried!" Gus said, but as they hit a stop sign a car whizzed by, much faster than it should have. Gus's arm shot out in front of Shawn, as if to protect him.

Shawn glanced down at the arm pressed against his chest, then up at his friend. Gus glanced at him, quickly pulling his arm away. "Yea. You're not worried at all."

Gus said nothing in response and the two rode in silence until they hit their final turn. Shawn took a deep breath and said, "I'm gonna tell Lassie and Jules, Gus."

At that Gus skidded to a halt, "What??"

"I'm gonna tell them. Today. After school."

Gus blinked, "You told your dad, right?"

"Yea. Last night."

Gus bit his lip again, something people seemed to do a lot around Shawn, before shaking his head. "I guess if you really want to." Gus then nodded, hitting the gas again. "Yea, I think you're right. I think they're good."

Shawn smiled at his friend, "Thanks for your blessing, Gus."

"No problem." Gus grinned.

--

At lunch that day Shawn and Gus decided to sit across from each other. Shawn felt even worse now than he had when he spoke to his father that morning. He was sure he looked worse, too, because Gus kept glancing at him and asking if he was ok. Gus opened his mouth to ask again when Lassiter and Juliet got to the table.

"Hey guys." Juliet greeted brightly, Gus greeted her back as she sat beside him, and Shawn just smiled and nodded.

"You ok?" Lassiter asked as he sat beside Shawn.

He didn't even bother to respond, but instead said, "Juliet, Lassiter, I need to tell you guys something. Can we all meet after school? We could go to the pier or something."

"Sure, I'm free." Juliet smiled.

Lassiter nodded, but looked hard at him. "Is this-?" Shawn just nodded, not even bothering to listen to the rest of the question.

God his head hurt.

"Are you sure you're OK, Shawn?"

"Yea, I uh, I just…" Shawn pressed his hands to his temples, his headache kicking up to a migraine. The residue was really hitting him harder than it ever had before. He felt so terrified for no reason. Not to mention his whole body hurt like hell and he just wanted to sleep.

"Shawn?"

"Huh?" He glanced at the concerned look of all his friends, and shook his head – only to find that hurt more than sitting still. "Yea, I just didn't sleep at all last night." He put his arms on the table and rested his head on the crook of his elbow.

He felt a hand rest atop his head and begin to stroke his hair, he knew it to be Lassiter's. It was so gentle, Shawn couldn't suppress the quiet moan that escaped from him. He hurt so bad, but Lassiter's simple touch was so soothing.

So soothing that he drifted off to sleep.

_He couldn't see anything. It was dark, but the room stank of blood. He cried out for help but all that escaped his lips was a pathetic sob. Someone was yelling. Who was yelling?_

_"Let him go! Put the knife down!"_

_"I can't, I'm so close. This is for his own good, can't you see that?"_

_"He's dying! Damnit, let him go!"_

_"I'm saving him. I'm his savior."_

_"You're a monster! Let him go! Shawn!"_

_Dad? Dad is that you?_

_He didn't get to comprehend_ _anymore as excruciating pain exploded from his chest. There were no words to describe this kind of horrible agony. He did the only thing he could do._

_He screamed._

Shawn shot up, his back slamming into the tree behind him. Gus, Lassiter and Juliet all looking at him in alarm. Shawn ran his hand over his head, "I—um, I…sorry. I just…" He shook his head, trying to come up with a coherent string of words.

"Shawn, what was that?"

Shawn bit his lip, "Bad dream. Been having them all night. About…about…" He shook his head again, "Damnit…this, uh, this has to do with what I have to tell you."

Lassiter and Juliet looked a little panicked, "Can you just tell us now?"

"I—I—what if you don't believe me? Or if you think I'm…demonic?" Shawn had no idea why he was voicing these questions. It was like he had no control over anything that came out of his mouth today. What the hell was going on with him?

"What?" Lassiter asked incredulously, "Why the hell would we think you were demonic?"

Shawn looked at Gus, his eyes saying 'I have no idea what's going on with me!' Gus got a worried look and quickly said, "You guys, it'll all make sense once he tells you."

"You know what it is?" Juliet asked. Gus just nodded, before glancing at Shawn.

"Shawn? What is it?" Lassiter prodded.

Shawn's eyes darted from Gus to Juliet to Lassiter. He looked almost like a caged animal. He had no idea what to do. He shook his head, "I have no idea what's going on." He whispered. His conscious mind was telling him continuously not to tell them, that they wouldn't believe him or they'd think he was crazy or _whatever_. But in the back of his mind a voice was screaming at the top of its lungs. _Tell them. Tell them! TELL THEM!_

He blinked and looked up at the three of them. "Ok…I—I'll tell you." He said, biting his lip.

"You don't have to if this is really something personal, Shawn. If this is too much-"

"No…no, I have to. If I really want you in my life like how Gus is in my life – a _permanent_ part of my life – I…I have to tell you. It's the only way I'll know…" _Know if you're the one_, his mind finished the sentence because his voice was too afraid to. "To put it bluntly…" Shawn started, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Opening them he uttered the two words he thought he'd be too afraid to utter to anyone again:

"I'm psychic."

--

_Well, I don't know about this chapter. It's a little iffy, I don't know, maybe my mind is still on vacation :D Even so, I hope you all enjoyed!_

_Thanks for reading!_

_-claire_


	13. Chapter 13

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 13**

**Note**: Dear Lord, 150 reviews?!! You guys are my heroes! As a treat you get an extra long chapter, I hope you like it!!

Enjoy!!

--

Carlton Lassiter and Juliet O'Hara had been prepared for anything to come out of Shawn's mouth. That he was actually straight, that he was actually a girl, that he secretly fought crime in the night, _anything_. But what they were not prepared for was this.

"Psychic?" They repeated at once. The bell rang, but no one took notice.

"Like, sees the future, that kind of psychic?"

Shawn nodded, looking worried by their reaction. "That's how I knew the west end of the beach was your favorite spot, Lassiter. Or what Luke and his guys were gonna do to Buzz a few weeks ago, when they beat me up. Or how I know that Gus and Juliet actually kissed while they were waiting at the house last night." Both their eyes widened, because Gus didn't know Shawn knew _that_. "Or how I knew what my mother had done to herself the day she died, how I knew to leave school and go home." He blinked, worry written all over his tired, pale face. "Its how I know a lot of the things I know." He took a deep breath, not having done so through his whole ramble.

Juliet just gaped, Lassiter's eyes were wide. "It…it explains so much." He said quietly, as if not believing himself as he spoke. "But it's so…"

"Unbelievable?" Shawn supplied, to which Lassiter just nodded. "Is there some way I can prove it to you?" Lassiter bit his lip, and Shawn could hear his voice in the back of his head, the older teen thinking _I don't want him too feel like he has to perform parlor tricks…_ And Shawn couldn't help but smile at his consideration even in this situation.

Shawn paused, racking his brain, sifting through all the random facts and tidbits and things he knew for something that had meaning to Lassiter. "Lassie…you're Grandmother, she was just declared as in remission, right? Breast cancer?" Lassiter's eyes widened in shock, giving Shawn all the answer he needed. He turned to Juliet. "And Jules…your aunt, Karen's mom, just got a new boyfriend, the first one since Karen's dad died five years ago. Right? And you all think he's a little weird?" Juliet's jaw dropped.

"You…you're really…"

Shawn nodded. "So…what do you think? Gonna run in terror or tell me I'm the spawn of Satan?" Both just blinked at him, both obviously completely unsure of what to do or say. "If neither of you believe me or want to speak to me again, I understand." He whispered.

They both stayed silent for a moment, before Lassiter took Shawn's hands in his. "This is a little…but…I…but it doesn't change anything. Right, Juliet?" She snapped her jaw shut and nodded when addressed. Despite his calming words, he still spoke in a tone as if he were a cop trying to convince a gunman to release his hostages. Shawn wasn't sure if that was good or bad. "It's a little weird, but it doesn't change the way I feel about you." Lassiter paused, he shook his head, as if trying to wake up.

Shawn nodded vigorously. He could feel tears springing to his eyes. Wow, he really did have no control over himself today.

"Shawn? Shawn, what's wrong?" Lassiter asked, wiping away some of Shawn's tears.

"I'm just…I'm just so _happy_ that you guys reacted this way." He whispered, throwing his arms around Lassiter. _Even if deep down you still don't believe me,_ he thought. They sat like that for a moment before a new voice joined the group.

"Guys? Since when do you have this period lunch?" All four detached themselves from the situation and turned to see Buzz and Franny standing there. "The bell rang about ten minutes ago, guys."

"Oh crap." Without another word they all gathered their things and ran towards the building. Though Shawn was not thinking about being late for English. He was thinking of three words that he had heard neither Juliet nor Lassiter utter. Three simple words.

_I believe you._

Feeling his heart sink, he was already convinced he never would.

--

Lassiter stared mindlessly at his Statistics notes that he wasn't taking. It wasn't because he was boycotting the notes after getting yelled at for being late. It wasn't because he hated this boring class so much he'd tried dropping it for calculus. It wasn't even because James, across the row from him, was constantly copying his notes and he wanted the boy to fend for himself for once. It was none of that. It was because his mind was already filled with so many other thoughts. Thoughts of confusion. Thoughts of uncertainty.

Thoughts of Shawn.

The younger teen had dropped such an unexpected bombshell he was so completely unsure of how to react. His mind was reeling with so many thoughts he couldn't comprehend any of them. Was he lying? Was he _crazy_? Was it all a dream?

Was it true?

Its just…this was such an improbable, nonsensical, unbelievable thing to be told, how could he believe it? But he knew that answer to that. He knew how.

It was in his eyes.

When Shawn had looked him directly in the eyes, looking so open and unprotected, so hopeful and terrified, so…Shawn. There was no hint of mocking, or joke, or normal, bouncy, playful Shawn. It was just…Shawn. Open. Raw. Unprotected.

Thinking back to the look in Shawn eyes he knew there was nothing else. There was no doubt. There was no uncertainty. He knew just by looking into Shawn's eyes what he believed.

He believed Shawn.

As the bell rang he gathered up his unused books and glanced down at his schedule he felt his heart drop as he noticed it was an A-Day, the day he didn't have drawing and painting but had gym instead.

He would have to wait until after school to talk to Shawn.

--

Juliet walked in a zombie-like state to her locker. She hadn't paid attention to her Marine Biology teacher at all that period. She'd simply gone blank-minded. She had no idea how else to react. When unbelievable or shocking things happened that's what she did. She shut down. It's what she'd done when her Uncle Tom had been killed on duty for the SPBD five years ago. It's what she did when she and Lassiter had gotten in that car accident Sophomore Year. Hell, she even did it when her cat Ivy died last Easter.

She'd never been good in 'stressful' situations.

But she knew she couldn't stay in her catatonic state for long. She couldn't hide away in the confines of her mind until everything fixed itself, despite how desperately she wanted to.

It was just so…weird. Really, it made so much sense, and there was no way Shawn could know how Karen and Juliet spoke on the phone almost nightly about how much they disliked Jacob, Karen's could-be step dad. Not to mention all the other things he used as evidence. It was logic, there was so much evidence pointing to the fact Shawn was telling the truth, so it _had_ to be true, right?

But it _couldn't_ be. _I mean, psychic? I've never met a psychic_, she thought.

The doubt just rang so clear and she was unsure if she was unhappy about how painfully uncertain she was or that she was doubting her new, true, friend so. But there was also something else.

Gus believed him.

The dark teen – her boyfriend, she supposed – had been right behind Shawn the whole way. He believed Shawn, backed him up, tried to help convince the two of them. She had so much faith in Gus, especially after the panicked, in-the-heat-of-the-moment kiss they'd shared on that terrible night.

And it wasn't just Gus she had faith in.

It had only been a month since the four had become friends. But for so long before that they'd all been pining for each other. And now that they were all together, in their own little group, everything was so _right_. There was no way this could be wrong. That it could be ruined by this. That this could be a _lie_. There was no way – in the name of God, in the name of _everything_ – that Shawn could be lying. She wasn't even sure why. She just knew.

Shawn was telling the truth. She believed him.

As she opened her locker she glanced at the schedule taped to the inner door. He heart dropped as she noticed today was one of the days on her schedule that she didn't have gym. With a deep sigh she grabbed her Economics books and closed her locker.

She would have to wait until after school to talk to Shawn.

--

From his spot near the door of the Physics room Gus watched his best friend in the hall, Shawn was staring mindlessly into his locker. Gus knew that look, the look of fear. He knew exactly what his friend was thinking. Shawn was thinking he'd made a mistake. That Lassiter and Juliet didn't believe him, despite their kind words. Shawn was thinking of running, of hiding until maybe he was forgotten. Shawn had voiced such ideas, and initiated such ideas, on more than one stressful occasion.

But Shawn wouldn't. Gus knew he wouldn't. He was just too attached to Lassiter. Just too in love. He _couldn't_ leave. But he could hide.

And he knew that was exactly what he knew Shawn was gonna do.

His point was proven as Shawn pulled his backpack from his locker, leaving early as upperclassmen were allowed to when they had only study halls. With a sigh he made his way to his desk as the class began.

He would have to call Shawn later that night to see how his hiding was going.

He just hoped that it _wasn't_ a mistake.

--

Henry had been a little worried about his son. Shawn was not acting like himself. He was off. When he came home from work he found his son there, on time, which was not normal. He resisted the urge to ask if something had happened at school, but if Shawn wanted to tell him he would. He also wondered silently if it had anything to do with the dreams he'd mentioned that morning. The look on Shawn's face when he mentioned it had stuck in Henry's brain all day. What was that look? Fear? Uncertainty? He wasn't even sure. All he knew was he didn't like it.

As he sat there, listening to his father speak on the other end of the phone, barely listening, he let out a grunt here or there in response as he thought only of his son. When the line went dead suddenly Henry comprehended what had happened and with a sigh he hung up the phone and called up the stairs, "Hey, Shawn, come down here and straighten out the guest room for me, would ya?"

"Why?" Came the call back down.

"Your grandfather just called to inform me that a pipe burst in his house – again – and he needs a place to crash."

"Ooh, L-squared in the house for the weekend!" Shawn laughed as he bounded down the stairs. His son's smile seemed a little forced, enhancing the worry Henry had been feeling.

But pushing it aside, Henry rolled his eyes and shook his head, ridding himself of his thoughts. "He loves the nickname for some unknown reason." Shawn called his father's father 'L-squared' since his full name was Lowell Lawrence Spencer. He hated his first name because 'its way to close to the word bowel.' Shawn usually called him by either name, or more often just 'Grandpa,' but lately had gotten to calling him by the new nickname he'd thought up.

"Well that's because he's hip-er than you are, old man."

"I thought hip wasn't hip to say anymore?" Shawn looked at his dad and just shrugged, as if to say 'So?' "Well, that makes me hip-er than you now."

"How do you work that logic, you crazy old man?"

"Well because you used the word 'hip' and since its not hip to use the word hip it makes me hip-er than you."

"Well, you just used the word hip like sixteen times, so that makes me hip-er than you anyway."

"But you just used it again. Doesn't that negate the hip-ness?"

"Well you've said it about ten times more than me in the last minute so that makes me hi—cooler than you."

"Oh-ho. Mister smarty pants over here. Counting all his points."

"Points? We're having points in this conversation? What is this, _the Price is Right_?"

"They don't have points on _the Price is Right_, Shawn." Henry said, turning and walking into the kitchen.

The doorbell rang, and Shawn began to walk towards the door, turning and calling over his shoulder as he went, "I'm appalled that you even know that." He grabbed the doorknob and began to swing the door open as he went, "And I'm sure Grandpa Bowels will be too, isn't that right, Grand-" But Shawn stopped as he turned to the door, a look of surprise on his face. "Lassie?"

"Hi, Shawn."

"Is that him? God he's fast-" Henry stepped back into the living room "Oh, Carlton. Hello…?" Henry glanced at Shawn.

"I'm sorry, did I come at a bad time? Its just, I never saw you after school, and I-"

"Its all right, Lassie. Why don't we…dad, I'll be back a little later, ok?"

"Yea…" Henry glanced at his son and nodded, "Yea, all right. Its fine." He stepped back into the kitchen, an unreadable look on his face.

Shawn turned to his unexpected guest, "So, um, want to go for a walk or something?" He asked, stepping onto the porch, the door and closing it behind him.

Lassiter nodded, albeit a little awkwardly, and motioned for Shawn to go down the steps first. They walked quietly across the street and onto the beach as the sun, already below the horizon, made the sky a blazing orange.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Shawn. If you were expecting company-" Shawn shook his head, throwing his hand in the air.

"No, no biggy. It's just my Grandpa, he stays with us a lot. His house if always falling apart." Lassiter nodded and turned his head away, opening and closing his mouth as if unsure of what to say. "Lassie…I—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just bail after that huge confession. I know you probably still don't believe me or whatever, but even if I _were_ crazy I had no right to just avoid you-"

"Shawn." Lassiter stopped him, stopped both their walking so they stood still. Biting his lip he finally said, "I believe you, Shawn." The younger boy stopped all movement dead, shocked by the three simple words the other teen had uttered.

"You…you believe me?" He whispered, so shocked he almost forgot to breathe.

"I do. Shawn. It's…it's really weird. It's really crazy. It's really improbable. But…but I believe you. I don't care how nonsensical it is. I _believe_ you. I believe _in_ you. I trust you." The older teen shook his head, stopping his own rambling. "I just…the way you looked into my eyes. You looked so scared by how I would react…like you were hanging on my every word."

Shawn let out a pathetic half-laugh, sounding partially drowned. His eyes filled slightly with tears.

Lassiter shook his head and smiled at the younger boy. "I…I just…I know I can trust you. Trust you not to lie to me." He threw his arms up, as if unsure of what else to say. "I believe you." He repeated once more.

"Lassie…" Shawn whispered, scrubbing quickly at his teary eyes. "Lassie…you have…you have no idea how much that means to me." Stepping forward he wrapped his arms around the older boy, burying his face into the senior's shoulder.

Saying nothing, Lassiter wrapped his arms around Shawn. The two stood there for a moment, just embraced on the sun-set beach, rocking from foot to foot ever so slightly.

After a long moment they broke apart, Shawn ran his hand under his nose. "Lassie, there are no words that can describe how I feel about you." He looked deep into the older boy's eyes.

"At least I'm not the only one." He whispered, taking Shawn's hand in his and leading him back towards the street. "I should probably get you home before your grandfather comes, huh?" Shawn just nodded, and lacing his fingers with Lassiter's they made their way to the younger's house.

Slowly making their way up the steps they turned to each other once again, not noticing the new car in the driveway or the slightly cracked curtain of the window to their left. "Shawn…" Lassiter said quietly, leaning in slightly.

"Goodnight, Lassie." Shawn whispered, unable to stop himself. Lassiter stopped his slow movement, looking slightly surprised. "Bye, Shawn." He whispered shaking his head, sounding a little defeated, before he turned and started down the porch steps and into the starting rain. How perfect. Rain.

Shawn bit his lip, suddenly filled with regret once more. Why had he said that? Making a snap decision, still completely unsure, he cried, "Lassie, wait!" The older boy turned, ignoring the slow rain and looking at his love interest with intrigue. Shawn stood on the porch, the only light on in the whole neighborhood hanging above the junior like a spotlight. "Don't leave, I—I have to say something. I…I'm not really sure how to put this into words, but here goes nothing." He took a deep breath before he started to stumble over his unplanned speech. _I mean, I already told him I'm psychic, I can't shock him any more, can I?_

"Carlton Lassiter, you—you've saved me. And not just the obvious ways. Sure, you did save me when Luke came after me or when I was 'lost' the other day…but that's not all. You—you saved me from the darkness. You pulled me out when I was spiraling downward into the…the _nothing_ I was becoming. I mean…if it weren't for Gus and my father I would have killed myself years ago. But…but if it weren't for you I might have in the near future." The older boy's eyebrows raised in shock but he didn't interrupt.

"And as clichéd as this sounds you saved me from _myself_. You stopped me from letting all this shit pull me under…and for that I can't even say thank you, because that isn't enough." Shawn bit his lip as his voice cracked, blinking his reddened, tearful eyes.

"I—I just, you saved me, Lassiter. You. And for that I've fallen…so _madly_ in _love_ with you it seems almost too good to be true. Too similar to some…some romance, chick-flick to be real. And I—I can't be afraid now. I can't let this-this internal _fear_ of rejection and-and abandonment hold me back, as I always have. And I can't let you walk away."

He shook his head, "And it's this feeling you give me. When I'm with you I've never felt this kind of…loved…before. You just fill me with this…this feeling. This feeling of hope, happiness. And its not just my abilities that make me feel that way. Or even the way I feel about you its…" He laughed a little, looking beyond the porch roof and out into the drizzling sky. "It's the way you look into my eyes. And how I can just…know…that everything will be OK. That as long as I have you…as long as I have you everything is _right_."

Shawn took a step forward, throwing up his arms a little, as if saying he were throwing it all on the table. "So, what do you say, Lassie-face? Will you…will you be the knight-in-shining-armor to my damsel-in-distress?"

The older boy stood in silence for a moment, shocked by Shawn's words. But as he looked up into the blood-shot, desperate eyes of the boy who'd just let it all go something clicked inside of him, like a puzzle piece falling into place.

He stepped up to the porch again and roughly wrapped his arms around Shawn. "Does this answer your question?" Before either could blink their lips were crushed together, neither moved for a long moment, not even breathing as they kissed the other like they'd never kissed anyone before, like they never would kiss anyone else.

After a long blissful moment that seemed like a lifetime and the blink of an eye at the same time the two pulled apart. Taking in a deep breath, but not moving their lips more than an inch apart, Shawn whispered, "I didn't quite hear that, can you repeat yourself?"

With a low chuckle down in his throat, Lassiter mumbled, "Oh, you bet I can." And they were pulled together once more.

--

_So, did you like? I hope so!!_

_Also, exciting news! I got my first job, guys! I'm gonna be a server in the dining room of an independent living home. It'll only be for like three days a week and I don't start training until the 3rd, so it won't really cut into this too much. Anyway, now I'm off to get drug-tested for this new job, then I'm going to get the new season DVDs (if my dad'll take me, that is)!! YAY! _

_Thanks for reading!_

_-claire_


	14. Chapter 14

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 14**

**Note**: Hello, my chick-a-dees! Excited for another chapter? Me too! And sorry, I know I said I was gonna update this weekend but I literally spent all my time knitting and watching my Psych DVDs. But it's here now!

Enjoy!

--

"What do you mean, he's got a boyfriend?? Why was I not informed??" Lowell prefers- to-be-called-Lawrence Spencer demanded as he set his always-ready duffel bag in the guestroom.

"Because it happened with in the past month, pa. And you were in Batavia until last week, didn't want to interrupt your special_ art show_ or whatever."

Lawrence just blinked, "For your information it was an art _and_ sculpting _festival_, and anyway I still expect to be informed."

Henry shook his head, "God, you and Shawn are so alike it's ridiculous."

"I don't know if I'm insulted or not." The eldest Spencer said cautiously, before breaking out into a grin once more. "But, to the present, what's his boyfriend like? Is he nice? Good looking? How'd they meet?"

"Jesus, dad. Want to breath in between sentences? And anyway, yes he's a nice kid, I have no idea if he's good looking or not, and they met when he rescued Shawn from getting beat up by three little fucks."

"For a second I thought you were gonna say three little ducklings – wait beat up? What the hell was going on?"

"Shawn _saw_ three kids beating a friend of his senseless and he warned the principle, they found out and ganged up on him. All but broke his wrist."

Lawrence's eyes flashed, "Those little fucks!"

"My thoughts exactly." Henry said shaking his head, laughing humorlessly for no reason. He glanced towards the window, "God, what's taking them so long?"

"He's with him _right_ _now_??" The eighty-four year old rushed to the window, cracking the curtain open a bit. "Is that them?" Henry sauntered over to his father and peeked out the window.

"Yea, that looks like them."

"They're holding hands!" Lawrence laughed, "Lord, that's pretty cute, you have to admit."

Henry smiled, a little absent-mindedly. "Yea…real cute." As the two hit the porch Henry took a step back, wanting to give the two a little privacy, apparently his father had no intention of following suit. "Dad, c'mon. Give them their privacy."

"You kiddin' me? They're gonna make out for sure! I ain't missing this!"

Henry just stared for a moment, "You know, that's border-line pedophilia, right? I could arrest you."

"Piss off, son." Was all Lawrence said in response. At that Henry just walked to the guestroom because he didn't want his father to see how hard he was trying not to laugh. He began to put his father's things into the empty drawers when he heard a loud gasp followed by a quiet 'Awww!'

"Dad, what are you doing?" He asked, walking back into the living room.

"The better question is what are _they_ doing." Lawrence guffawed as he stepped away from the window. "Told you they'd make out."

Henry shook his head, not wanting to show his father how much he agreed that Shawn and Lassiter were adorable. "You're kind of creepy, you just better hope Shawn never finds out about this little _problem_ of yours."

The senior Spencer didn't get a chance to respond as the front door opened. The older father and son turned as Shawn walked through the door, a glow to his face...one that certainly hadn't been there less than half an hour ago.

"Shawnie!" Lawrence cried happily, as if he hadn't just been snooping on his grandson.

"Grandpa!" Shawn cried, his smile brightening. "When did you get here?" He asked as he stepped forward and hugged the oldest man.

"Oh, a few minutes ago. Where were you?"

Henry could not believe how sneaky his father was. How he could so innocently ask a question he shouldn't have but did know the answer to. He _really_ knew where Shawn got it from now.

"Well," Shawn started, his smile still there. He reached out onto the porch and pulled Lassiter forward. The teen looked a little awkward but his eyes were shining as bright as a Christmas tree. "G-pops, this is my _boyfriend_. Carlton Lassiter."

The smile played across Lassiter's lips now at being addressed as a boyfriend. He stuck his hand out and shook Lawrence's heartily. "Nice to meet you, sir."

"Again, with the sir." Henry said, throwing up his arms as his father grinned.

"Call me grandpa! Or Lawrence. Or whatever the hell you want as long as it ain't Lowell."

"What about Grandpa Bowels?"

"That wasn't funny last Easter and it ain't funny now, Shawnie." Lawrence said seriously, although his eyes were laughing.

When Lawrence turned to shut the door Lassiter turned to his boyfriend and with raised eyebrows and a grin he mouthed 'Shawnie?' to which Shawn just grinned and shook his head.

Henry rolled his eyes and, fighting a smile, he cleared his throat and said, "Well, now that introductions are over with, does anyone want something to eat? Have you eaten yet, Carlton?"

"Oh, no, but I don't want to impose, Mr. Spencer."

"Nonsense!" Henry and Shawn cried at once. "We have pie, if you want some." Shawn continued, "Or we still have some ice cream from last night."

"Wow, was that last night?" Lassiter asked quietly as Shawn led him into the kitchen.

Lagging behind Lawrence asked his own son, "What happened last night?" He asked it a little cautiously, obviously aware that it was something serious.

Henry bit his lip before slowly answering, a look Lawrence knew and dreaded flashing on his face. "I'll tell you later."

--

_Shawn blinked as blood trickled down into his half-open eyes as he tried to stare down at his shaking, bloodied hands. His whole body ached, his head in particular. It was so hard to open his eyes once they were closed, he was just tired… so tired…_

"_Open your eyes, heathen!" His eyes shot open as a voice screamed in his ear. _

_He wanted to sleep, he wanted to cry, he wanted to his **dad**. "My…my dad…" He managed to croak out. _

"_It's too late for you, demon. He can not help you. Only I can. Your soul is lost, but I can help you __**repent**__." There was a pause and Shawn almost sobbed at the wet sound of his own breathing and the panic that was rushing through him. "It'll all be over soon, don't worry…" The familiar voice whispered, almost lovingly. _

_Then the pain shot through his whole body once more. With the last bit of strength he had, given to him by a burst of adrenaline, he threw back his head and let out a loud, blood-curdling scream. _

Shawn's eyes shot open, his heart racing and his brow covered in sweat. He tried to think of something other than the images that had just attacked his mind. Scrunching his eyes closed, he thought back to a few hours prior, when he and Lassiter had been on the couch watching a re-run of a Johnny Depp movie. Lassiter's arm had been around him and Shawn had been resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. Their feet had been propped up on the table, next to dirty plates that had had pie on them not ten minutes prior to that moment.

With that happy thought in mind Shawn took a deep breath, but when his nose was attacked with the stench of blood his eyes shot back open and he bolted up, eyes darting across the room. _Just the residue_, he thought to himself. But the thought didn't comfort him as it had meant to. The only thing it succeeded in doing was reminding him that these dreams were most likely visions. That he was going to…he couldn't even think the word.

_Torture_.

Shawn shook his head and threw the covers back, making his way to the door. He glanced at the zip-up sweatshirt Lassiter had 'accidentally' left behind that rested on the chair by his door. Without a thought he grabbed it and slipped it on over his t-shirt. The scent of his boyfriend filled his nostrils, a much more welcome scent than that of his own blood.

He quietly made his way down the steps, glancing at the half-open door of the guestroom that resided not far from the stairs as he hit the ground floor. He walked to the porch door and as he slowly opened the door, so to prevent any noise, he reached over and flipped on the porch light. Closing the door quietly behind him he settled down on one of the wicker chairs and wrapped his arms tightly around himself.

He looked out into the darkness, staring at the visible ocean as the moonlight danced across the slow, rippling waves. He took a deep breath, taking in the scent of salty seawater and Lassiter.

He sighed, feeling happy and distressed in the same moment. His life was going amazingly. He had two great new friends, one whom he was madly in love with (and, by some grace of God, loved him back). He and his father's relationship was better than ever, as was his and Gus's. Despite the recent dramatic incidents, his school life was going well. And he had this amazing view. But he couldn't let himself fall completely into happiness. Not with this feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Something was coming. Something big.

He just wished he knew what, or more so _why_, it was. He just couldn't shake it, this feeling of dread. And he couldn't help but wonder, was it all in his head? Literally, of course it was. But in this non-reality that was his life, it could be the coming future. Well, no…

It _was_ the coming future.

He knew it, no matter how badly he wanted to deny it. The residue, the inability to sleep, the repetitiveness of the dreams, everything, it all pointed to one thing: they were visions. He had to tell his father, he knew. They needed to figure it out, like they always figured out his visions together. But he just…he couldn't bring himself to tell his father of these dreams that he'd been having for months now (yes, _months_). Especially not after the previous night. The way his father had looked so horrifically torn with worry and anguish. The way he had _cried_ as soon as he saw his son, as soon as he touched him.

It would destroy his father if he told him. He couldn't do it. He _wouldn't_ do it.

"Shawn?" Shawn jumped as the voice invaded his thoughts. He turned to his grandfather. "Didn't hear me coming?" The older man asked as he sat beside his grandson on one of the other wicker chairs. Shawn shook his head. The two sat in silence for a moment, both staring out at the ocean, when finally Lawrence spoke again.

"You know, Shawn," The grandson glanced at the elder, intrigued, "The ocean is an amazing thing. It's like…the diary of the world. Those waves," He pointed out and Shawn turned to once again watch the slow, methodical movement of the water. "They've been all around the world. Brushing on the beaches of Japan yesterday, and now they're here. Washing up on the beach, telling us the story of so many places it's been, and so many places it'll go. To San Francisco, to Miami, to Spain…down the drain of some girl's shower as she washes the salt water out of her hair." He grinned and glanced at Shawn as he smiled, looking down at his feet.

"That water has seen everything, it remembers everything…just like the mind of a certain grandson of mine." Shawn's eyes widened a little as he glanced over at his grandfather. "Don't give me that look. I can tell something's up. You're tired, and…you've got that look. Your eyes give you away. I haven't seen that look in your eye since you were six and you didn't want to tell me that you kept having visions of my dog dying." Lawrence leaned forward, trying to catch Shawn's eye but he wouldn't meet them. "C'mon kiddo, can you tell me what it is? What have you been seeing?"

Shawn bit his lip, looking down at his hands. The image of his own bloodied hands seen through his blood-covered eyelids flashed through his mind and he scrunched his eyes shut. With his voice shaking, he took a deep breath and whispered, "I…I can't tell you, grandpa." He opened his eyes and looked up to his grandfather's eyes, fighting off the sudden urge to cry. "I'm sorry. I can't."

--

Shawn sat in a similar position that he had been siting the previous day at the lunch table, his head on his arms as Lassiter stroked his hair. But today he didn't have to worry about freaking out his friends if he drifted off and _dreamed_. Well, he would freak them out, but he wouldn't have to worry about explaining it, now.

He was barely focused on Gus and Lassiter's conversation about Lowell Lawrence Spencer until Juliet spoke up. "Hey, guys, that reminds me. My family is having a party next weekend, and Karen is inviting her boyfriend so my mom said I could invite you guys if you want to come. Do you?"

Gus immediately responded with an emphatic yes, while Lassiter laughed a little awkwardly, "Your, uh, your cousin Annie…is she gonna be there?"

Shawn picked up his head at that. "Who's Annie?"

Juliet seemed to be trying to suppress hysterical laughter, while Gus held a mirrored look of Shawn's confusion. "Annie is my fifteen-year-old cousin and she…well, let's just say she's taken a strong liking to Carlton."

Shawn snorted, "Does she know you're gay?"

"I don't know, I didn't really tell her. I just avoided her."

Juliet actually laughed then, "My parents know, and I'm sure my aunts know because my mom tells them everything, but I doubt they told their children. Though, obviously Karen knows. But I don't think any of our other cousins know, though Karen's sister does…" Juliet trailed off, a smirk on her face once again.

At the looked Shawn was giving him, Lassiter looked away and muttered, "I may or may not have dated Karen's sister in middle school…" Gus laughed loudly at that, and Shawn just shook his head, trying not to laugh as well.

"Juliet," he started, "You must inform me of all his other past girlfriends when he is not present."

"I'm right here!"

"I know, I said when you're _not_ present."

Before the two could continue bickering Juliet, with a laugh in her voice, said "So you guys gonna come or not? Your parents are more thank welcome to come, too. It's just a big cookout we're having since the weather is getting nicer and nicer."

Shawn nodded, "I'll definitely come, and I'm sure my dad will too. He knows Karen's mom from when her…husband was on the force." Juliet nodded, a look of realization hitting her face but she said nothing.

"I guess I'll come then, too. Maybe Shawn can protect me from Annie."

"Don't worry. I'll make out with you in the middle of the party and I think she'll get the picture." Lassiter just glared at his boyfriend, but before he could respond a voice called out to them.

"Hey, Shawn!" The four turned to see Shawn and Lassiter's art teacher's aide, Ms. Roge, quickly making her way to their table. "Shawn," She said again, quickly pulling him up and off to the side, "Shawn, you need to go to the office right away…it's an emergency."

As Shawn gained his footing her words hit him and he almost lost it again. "An em—is it…is it my dad?" Roge bit her lip, as if she didn't want to answer. "Oh God." It was as if he'd been stabbed in the heart with an icicle. Shawn raised a shaking hand to cover his mouth.

"Now I-I don't know all the details. It may not be that bad, but your grandfather is waiting in the office. He said he'd tell you everything."

Shawn nodded, and quickly turned back to the table. He glanced at his friends, who were staring at him with looks of panic, Lassiter standing. "I—I don't know what's going on but I'll call you all when I know something." They nodded and without waiting for anything more Shawn ran at full speed towards the building, ignoring his books that he'd left at the table or the waiting Ms. Roge whom he'd left in the dust.

He just needed to know what was going on. He just needed his father.

He bolted through the empty hallways, not caring how loud his shoes were slamming against the linoleum floors. He was vaguely aware of the sound of Ms. Roge's shoes far behind him but all he could think of were images of his father dead, bleeding, or worse.

He was so wracked with worry of being told his father was hurt that he didn't even realize that he had no _feeling_ of his father being hurt. Whenever his father was hurt he could sense it, but with this feeling of pure, unadulterated panic he didn't even realize that he had no such feelings.

He skidded to a halt as he finally bolted into the office and saw someone he was not expecting to see, upping his panic even more.

"Grandpa Clarence?"

--

_And so begins the dramatic, majorly-whump-filled portion of this story…_

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading!_

_-claire_


	15. Chapter 15

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find **

**Chapter 15**

**Note**: Hey, guys! I'm not gonna be home from Friday to Monday (and I won't have a computer this time), so I'm updating now! Sorry…I travel a lot :D But thankfully it's not for 10 days this time!

Enjoy!

--

Lassiter paced back and forth in front of the phone on his desk. Juliet and Gus sat on his bed, watching him. "Call them again," Lassiter said to Gus, who had the over-used phone sitting in his lap.

"Lassiter, man, we called their house fifteen times in the last hour. They're obviously not home."

"Maybe they are now."

"You think they got home within these four minutes we didn't call?"

Lassiter looked at Gus harshly, "They might have."

"Guys, stop it. You're letting the worry get to you. Just stay calm, I've been in this situation before." Both Gus and Lassiter stopped and turned to their female friend.

"Oh, Jules. I totally forgot…I-I'm sorry." Both started to say in some form.

Juliet held up her hand. "Don't be, it was five years ago. We just need to be strong for Shawn right now. That's what he really needs. It's what he's going to need for a long while after this if it's…if it's bad."

"You're right." Lassiter whispered, falling down into his desk chair. "I'm just so…"

"I know, man. Me too." Gus bit his lip, not sure why he was allowing himself to say what he was about to say, but continued on anyway. "Mr. Spencer has been like another father to me…really since before I could talk. I mean…he's like another friend to me. I love the guy." Gus looked down, tears filling his eyes. Juliet reached over and rubbed his arm affectionately.

"He'll be OK, Gus. I'm sure of it."

"Did you say that to Karen five years ago?" Gus asked seriously, turning to his girlfriend with a look of desperation on his face.

Juliet looked at Gus for a moment, "No." She said quietly, looking down. "No, I didn't. And he wasn't."

"Was it because you didn't want to get Karen's hopes up? Or because you _knew_ he wouldn't be?" Juliet looked deep into Gus eyes and could feel her heart breaking. Gus was just so desperate for the older man to be OK that he would believe anything, even things that insinuated supernatural power. But then again that was because he'd known Shawn all his life and he was living proof that such things existed.

But despite all this, Juliet didn't have a response. She didn't know why she hadn't said it to Karen all those years ago. She just hadn't. With tears filling her eyes she reached over and wrapped her arms around Gus, and a moment later Lassiter joined the hug too. They all sat there for a moment, tears in their eyes and grief in their hearts.

When they pulled back Lassiter scrubbed at his eyes and quietly said, "Call them again, Gus."

--

Henry Spencer wasn't surprised to find his son not home when he returned from work. It was normal for Shawn to hang out with Gus, or now, any of them, until long after Henry got home. But what he _was_ surprised to find was the answering machine filled with messages and a ringing phone beside it.

Snatching the phone up he tiredly said, "Spencer residence." He got no response, just a long pause on the other end. He found himself getting agitated. "Look, if this is some kind of prank I'm a cop and I can find you and arrest you."

This time there was a quick intake of breath at his response. "Mr. Spencer?"

"Gus? What the hell—you better not be the one who left fifteen messages on my machine."

He heard another voice, causing him to guess he was on speakerphone. "Mr. Spencer!" It was Juliet's voice. "You're home already, it must not have been that bad then! Are you all right?"

"What must not have been that bad? Work?" Henry glanced out the back window to see his father snoozing on a lawn chair on the back lawn and snorted to himself.

"You mean…you weren't…?"

"What the hell are you kids up to? Did Shawn put you up to this? Is this some lame attempt at a prank?"

"Mr. Spencer you weren't…hurt…on duty today?" It was Lassiter's voice that time.

"Hurt on—what the hell gave you kids that idea?" He could feel his heart going cold, "Shawn's not…?"

"Shawn left school during lunch because his grandpa came to get him. He said you were hurt."

Henry glanced back through the window, panic setting in. "This better be your idea of a prank, old man." He whispered to himself as he ran out the back door, phone still to his ear. "Dad!"

Lawrence snorted loudly and jumped, "Ah-wha—Hen, what are you doing here? What time is it?"

"Dad, did you take Shawn out of school today? And don't you dare lie to me."

"What-? Son, why would I do that? Is something wrong?"

"According to the kids Shawn's grandpa came and got him from school saying I was-" Henry stopped dead, realization filling him. "Oh no."

"I didn't take him out, son. I would never lie and say you were hurt." Lawrence said, standing up and looking at his son with concern. "If I didn't take Shawn out does that mean…?"

Henry addressed the phone once again. "Kids, can you come over here? I may need your help."

"Yes, sir. We'll be there in a second." Before Henry could even comprehend what was said, let alone reprimand Lassiter for calling him 'sir', the line went dead.

Henry bolted back inside and quickly dialed an almost-forgotten phone number. It rang…rang…rang…

"Hello, you have reached Elyse and Clarence. We're not here right now-"

"Damnit!" Henry felt himself filled with rage and haphazardly thrust the phone at the table that held it's cradle, not caring if he hit his mark or not. "What the hell do you want with my son?" He cried to no one. He stopped for a moment and just pressed the heals of his hands to his eyes. "Oh, God, Shawn…"

"Hen…" Lawrence whispered, placing a hand on Henry's shoulder comfortingly.

That seemed to send the Detective into action. He sprang forward and grabbed his bag, which he'd dropped on the couch when he walked in. He quickly searched through it, not caring if he was making a mess. He finally found what he was looking for and pulled out his large cell phone. He quickly dialed his partner's number.

"Hastings."

"Jim! Jim, are you still at work?"

"Yea, I was just about to clock out. Why, what's wrong?"

"It's my son. I don't know all the details, but Shawn's friends. They said his grandfather came and got him at school early, telling him that I was hurt on duty."

"What?! Did you talk to your father about it?"

"He's with me right now, it wasn't him."

"Then…was it…?"

"As of right now this is being considered as a high-priority kidnapping case. A police officer's son has been taken against his will. Get as many men as you can on this, got it? Start a BOLO for a green van with the license plate…ah, shit, I can't remember…"

"Henry, don't worry. I'll look it up. I'll get everyone I can find on it. Ok? We'll find him, man."

"I want the center of the investigation to be at my house. Lord knows he may call here or Shawn might manage to get out."

"You got it. We'll be there, with the techs too, in twenty minutes."

"Thanks, Jim." He quickly hung up his cell and turned to see his father staring at him with a concerned look in his eye. Henry fell to the couch, running his hands over his face tiredly.

"We'll find him, son."

"Yea…but in one piece?" Henry could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He was feeling a lot like he had just a few nights ago. But this was so different…this wasn't Shawn versus himself. Henry knew if that were the battle Shawn would make the right decision. This was Shawn versus some menace of unknown power. Who knew what Clarence wanted with his boy? Who knew what he would try to do?

"He'll be ok, Henry. I'm sure of it."

Henry paused, "Do you…do you think those dreams he wouldn't tell me about…could they be part of it?"

Lawrence bit his lip, "I…I don't know. I talked to him last night. I tried to make him tell me what they were about but he wouldn't…what if they are a part of it? Oh, God, I should have pushed him more…"

"Dad…dad, don't feel bad. If anyone should have pushed him on them it's me. I'm his fucking _father_. I…I should have…" Henry paused and bit his lip. "We…we don't even know if it's bad, right? I mean, this could…this could be something completely different. It may not be bad at all. Maybe Maddie's dad just wanted to…just wanted to…talk…" Henry trailed off, knowing how absurd he sounded. He looked to his father, who held a well-hid-but-still-visible skeptical look.

Before Lawrence could respond there was a loud knocking at the door. "That would be the kids." Henry nodded for Lawrence to let them in. He took a deep breath and stood. He needed to be strong for the kids.

He needed to be strong for Shawn.

--

Shawn spent the whole car ride silently panicking. He couldn't help but think of all the things that could have happened to his father. Strangled, stabbed, shot, exploded. Shawn pressed the heals of his hands into his eyes at that, trying not to break out into hysterical, panicked sobs. "Oh God, dad. Please be OK." He whispered out loud.

"You dad is fine, boy. Don't worry about that."

Shawn glanced up at his grandfather, who hadn't said a word to him except 'Come with me, Shawn' at the office. "Then…then you talked to him? You know he's OK?"

"I didn't talk to him." Clarence shrugged, "But I know he's OK." The older man glanced at Shawn, and like he was speaking to him out loud Shawn could hear Clarence's voice in his head. _I'm surprised he trusts me that much. What a naive little monster._

Shawn could feel the panic for his father drifting away and panic for himself seeping in as everything began to click. "Grandpa…?" Shawn glanced out the windshield, only noticing for the first time that they weren't headed towards any hospital. "We're not going to the hospital?" Clarence said nothing, just smirked. "My…my dad…he's not hurt, is he?"

"Well, look at that, you _are_ psychic!"

Shawn's eyes widened and his heart went cold. "You…you know…?"

Clarence glanced quickly at his grandson, a wicked look on his face. "I know many things, boy. I am a corporal hand of the Lord."

"So, what, you're psychic too? Maybe it's genetic." Shawn couldn't help the sarcastic comment, but he wished he had as his grandfather smacked him hard against the face.

"I am in _no way_ related to you. There is no way I could be related to a _demon_."

Shawn held his hot cheek where it stung, tears filling his eyes. _How could I have been so stupid?!_ He thought to himself. His father was _fine_, he could sense that. But why hadn't he noticed that before? He'd been so _blinded_ by word-of-mouth that he didn't see the situation for what it was: a _lie_. He reached for the door handle but found it wasn't there, his grandfather had _removed_ _the_ _door handle_. He felt his heart stop. It was a trap. _What am I going to do?_

"Grandpa…why?"

"Why what? Lie to you? I know…it _is_ a sin. But I had to get you to come with me somehow. I'm sure the Lord will forgive me for that through what I'm going to do." Shawn stared at his grandfather in horror.

"Why…what—what are you going to do to me?"

"Everything will be revealed in due time, boy." Shawn glanced out the front window again just as they pulled up to an old cabin that Shawn had never seen before but somehow recognized. Suddenly all the dreams began to fly across his eyes at once. All the pain, all the blood…

It came from this cabin.

"Grandpa…" He whispered, allowing the tears to fall. He had never been this scared in his life. "I…I trusted you." He choked out. He got the slight feeling of guilt flowing weakly from his grandfather, but he barely had time to comprehend it as his grandfather's fist came flying at him with surprising speed.

_I'm sorry, dad_, he thought as his world went black.

--

_God…I'm getting more and more evil with each chapter! Gah! :D_

_Thanks for reading!!_

_-claire_


	16. Chapter 16

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 16**

**Note**: Hey, y'all! Tonight is the premiere!!! I know you're all excited, so I thought, "Why not make the whole day a Psych day?" So I'm posting! And sorry I've been a little slow lately. I've just started working and I'm trying to get the hang of everything, so that's been my top priority. But I'm here now!

Enjoy!

--

Lassiter sat in Shawn's bedroom, clenching and unclenching his fists. He said silently on Shawn's bed, staring at the clothing that sat haphazardly on the rocker by the door. He recognized the green flannel shirt that lay neatly off the top of the rocker, the only shirt that was folded nicely while everything else was in a pile.

It was the shirt Shawn had worn when Lassiter and his parents had come for dinner. He thought back to that awkward night, how they could barely meet each other's eye before blushing and looking away. He remembered Shawn's father trying his best to embarrass Shawn, and Shawn having none of that.

He remembered walking into this very room and talking to Shawn about playing the violin. _"The one instrument I'd love to play is the guitar, though."_ Lassiter wondered if Shawn had said that because he _knew_ that he played the guitar. Probably, that would certainly be something Shawn would do. Either way he suddenly realized he had yet to teach Shawn how to play. _"I could teach you—uh, ahem, I mean. If you wanted."_ He shook his head and looked down at his hands.

_There's so much we haven't done. So much we didn't get to do. You can't be gone yet, Shawn, you just can't… _

The same thoughts kept running through his mind. It felt like a lifetime, but he'd only been with Shawn for a few short weeks. They'd done so much together and yet so little. _I love him_. The words kept flashing before his eyes. He loved Shawn. He _loved_ him. And he never got to say it. He _never_ _said it_.

He slowly stood, his knees cracking after the lack of movement. He slowly stepped to the window and glanced out at all the people walking in and out of the house. Cops, detectives, techs, a few of the neighbors were out there too, including the family he recognized from the newspaper article. The ones Shawn and Henry had saved. He shook his head, suddenly reminded of all this things Shawn was. All the amazing things he could be. It couldn't be over yet, not when there was so much potential. Not when he would miss him so much.

He glanced down at what little he could see of the porch from where he stood. He flashed back on the previous night. _God, was that only last night?_ He wondered to himself. With Shawn a moment felt like a lifetime, every second counted because Shawn _made_ it count. And yet…with Shawn you always wanted more. You loved him so much that a lifetime was a blink of an eye and he had to go.

_Please don't let him be gone forever_, Lassiter begged.

As the teen blinked down at the porch that several officers were standing on, trying to calm the neighbors, he was reminded of all the things Shawn said. _"You saved me, Lassiter. You. And for that I've fallen…so __**madly**__ in __**love**__ with you it seems almost too good to be true."_ He bit his lip, blinking rapidly as he thought of the heart-wrenching words Shawn spoke. He was so in love with Lassiter, he _needed_ Lassiter just as much as Lassiter _needed_ him.

But one line in particular kept playing in his head. _"It's the way you look into my eyes. And how I can just…know…that everything will be OK. That as long as I have you…as long as I have you everything is __**right**__."_ Lassiter wondered if Shawn had read Lassiter's mind, literally, when he spoke those words. Lassiter felt _exactly_ the same. As long as he knew Shawn would be with him, as long as he knew he would at the very least _see_ Shawn during the day he knew he could make it through anything.

Lassiter glanced down as some more detectives walked out of the house, grave expressions on their face. He remembered listening to them speak before he had to walk away. He didn't know much of Shawn's other grandfather, besides that he didn't like Shawn for some reason. The officers all spoke to Henry and them like they all had one thing in mind: they were trying to prepare them for life without Shawn. None of them seemed to think Shawn would make it out of this. He quickly looked away from the window, leaning heavily on the wall beside it.

_He'll be fine_, he thought to himself, _he can't __**not**__ be fine._ Shaking his head heavily he whispered aloud, "Please…please, if there is a God out there…save him, please." He hiccuped, "I _need_ him…"

Squeezing his eyes shut Lassiter slid down to the floor, wrapping his arms around himself, letting his head fall to his knees. He felt himself shutting down. He couldn't function like this. Without Shawn. So he did the only thing he could muster up enough energy to do.

He cried.

--

Juliet and Gus sat against the back fence in the backyard, feeling out of place everywhere else. When the officers started to talk to them about…about if Shawn _didn't_ come back Lassiter lost it. He'd rushed from the room and up the stairs, and neither Juliet nor Gus blamed him. Neither of them could even try to conceive life without Shawn. But all the officers seemed so certain that that was a strong possibility, how could they _not_ think that was going to happen?

Juliet had her arm wrapped tightly around Gus's shoulders as they sat silently. He'd started crying almost as soon as they'd walked outside. The two of them were brothers. They'd been together for all their lives. Gus didn't know anything besides Shawn. Didn't know how he could go on without his best friend, without his other half.

She couldn't imagine ever having to go through something like that. The only thing she could think that would even slightly come close was when she and Lassiter got in a car accident a few years ago. He'd been driving, careful as always, and she'd been chatting with him as they drove home from a football game she'd dragged him to. They'd hit an intersection and stopped as they were supposed to, but as they started to turn another car, with a driver who admitted to not paying attention, came barreling through and slammed into their car on Lassiter's side. She remembered having a few bandages put on, and sitting in the waiting room waiting to hear how Lassiter was. Wondering if he'd live. It had been the worst moment of her life.

But at least then she'd known what had happened and what was going on (for the most part). This was completely different. They had no idea whether Shawn was dead already, or if he was just fine, or if he was hurt or getting worse. They knew _nothing_. They were virtually _helpless_. And it was the worst feeling she could ever try to describe, she could only imagine how Gus felt.

With silent tears running down her cheeks she tightened her arm around Gus and let him cry.

--

Henry glanced from the stairs to out the back window. The kids were reacting as one would expect. They were terrified. They might lose their friend, their brother, their boyfriend. _Yea, and you might lose your __**son**__,_ a voice whispered in the back of his mind. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts, but he could feel himself losing it. He quickly made his way to the bathroom, not wanting anyone to see him.

Once inside he shut the door and locked it. He sat down slowly on the edge of the bathtub. He rested his elbows on his knees, running his hands over his face. He couldn't lose it, not in front of his coworkers, not in front of the kids. He needed to be strong, for the kids, for his son, for _himself_. He couldn't lose it. He knew that if he did he would never be able to go back, he could never be strong again because he would be reminded of all the things he's seen, all the things he knew.

_After 24 hours the chance of finding a kidnapped child diminishes._ The words ran through his mind like a flashing neon sign. That was one of the first things he'd learned, and one of the hardest things he'd had to deal with. But this was different. This wasn't some family he was trying to help, this wasn't someone he didn't know.

This was his _son_. His _baby boy_.

He tried to think of a happier time, when Shawn was younger and Maddie was there. When they'd been _together_. He could remember one time the three of them had been on a picnic and Shawn had run off to play on a jungle gym a few yards away. He and Madeline had taken advantage of that moment without their rambunctious child to enjoy the solitude. They sat there, holding hands and enjoying the summer air.

But then Henry had glanced over to see Shawn wasn't on the play set anymore, he wasn't anywhere. Henry could remember the panic he felt then, trying to find his six-year-old, it wasn't until an hour later that Shawn reappeared, holding a fist-full of flowers he'd gone off to pick for his mother. He could remember the pure relief he'd felt when he saw his little boy run up to them, a big grin on his face. _Here, momma, I found these for you!_ Oh, and the way Madeline cried and dropped to her knees, wrapping her arms around her little boy. _Wow, you like flowers that much?_ Henry shook his head at the memory, tears filling his eyes.

He tried to resist the tears…but he couldn't, he _knew_ he couldn't. So he let his head drop to his hands and he cried.

--

Shawn felt himself start to flutter back into the world of consciousness. He tried to lift his head but it was so heavy. He settled for cracking his eyes open, but quickly shut them again, the little light in the room worsening his migraine. With his eyes closed he tried not to remember everything, trying to forget how his grandfather had lied to him and taken him. _Oh God,_ Shawn thought, _I've been __**kidnapped**_. Instead of thinking of what his grandfather might possibly want him for he decided to focus on trying to get out.

He was sitting in an uncomfortable, old chair, that he could tell. His arms were tied behind his back and he had a gag in his mouth that tasted horribly foul. As he tried to free his hands he tried to think of happier things, of his father, of his friends. But the thought of them only reminded him of how worried they must be. Of how the whole SBPD must be at his house right now. He could hear his father's voice in his mind, _Shawnie, Shawnie please hang on…_ He wondered if he was imagining it or if he was really _hearing_ it.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a terrifying sound coming from the kitchen. A sound he knew. Someone was sharpening a knife. _Oh God_. He thought to himself, horrified panic filling him. _I'm going to die. I'm going to die here._ He felt tears seeping from his eyes and sobs rumbling from his throat. _Jules, Gus, Lassie, Daddy…oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. God, don't let me die, please…don't let me die here…_

**-TBC-**

_How much of a horrible human being am I? Hahaha, sorry, I've become totally evil, I think. A little shorter than usual, but whatever. Either way, I hope you enjoyed!_

_And everyone enjoy the premiere tonight!! I know I will! _

_-claire_


	17. Chapter 17

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 17**

**Note**: Ahaha, I thought this was chapter 14…AHEM. Anyway, OK! So, again, guys, I really want to apologize for all the waits I've been making you sit through, but work and school's summer work has been catching up with me, I'm sorry :( But I'm here now.  
Oh, and, heh heh…the reason I'm trying to butter you up is, guess what! I'm going out of town on Sunday! –ducks flying objects– I'M SORRY! I know, Jesus, am I ever home?? But my family is going camping and we won't be back until the 23rd so I'm updating now. I hope you all can still love me…

Enjoy! And enjoy the new episode tonight!!!

--

It had been two days. Two long days and no luck on anything. They'd checked all of Clarence's properties, his work place, spoken with all his coworkers and friends, even Elyse, who was currently being held at the station, had no idea where her husband was.

Gus, Lassiter and Juliet hadn't gone to school the past two days and when they did happen to sleep it was on the floor of Shawn's bedroom, because no one dared touch his bed. They hadn't left the house since all this started, but all their parents had made more than one appearance, for both support and to bring their children clean clothes. Karen had even visited a few times and offered her support.

The three hadn't said too much to the others that had been going in and out of the house, too afraid the officers might try to give them another pep-talk or 'Shawn could be dead' talk. They refused to have any of it. So for the most part they stayed in Shawn's room.

But at three in the morning the previous night they'd all heard the TV going in Henry's room and got up to investigate. They found the father sitting on his bed, tears in his eyes, as he watched home movies of Shawn. He's motioned for them to join him and the four watched movies of Shawn's first steps, first words, several of the tapes included Shawn covered in some kind of food.

Despite their worry every time the little Shawn looked at the camera and giggled they themselves couldn't help but smile. It was one of the cutest scenes. Lassiter found himself tearing up as he laughed a little at the tapes. He felt a hand in his and looked up to see Juliet smiling weakly at him, tears in her eyes as well.

The next morning the four had woken up in the father's room, the TV running static as the tape rewound. They'd all changed and went downstairs to see the officers and techs that were stationed there still working hard. Henry had gone and joined them, while the kids just went to make some coffee before returning to their fortress of solitude. They'd even attempted the homework Karen had brought with her as well, but they couldn't focus on that when all they could picture was Shawn.

It seemed like Henry, Gus, Lassiter and Juliet had all been running on autopilot. All four were just focusing on functioning and that seemed to be enough. It was all they could hold onto. That maybe if they just had enough strength to get up in the morning, then Shawn would have enough strength to make it through this.

He had to. They could lose him.

They all silently sent their strength to Shawn. They prayed, they begged, they tried to come up with something to help the cops. They were trying everything they could think of that might help Shawn. But every time all they came up with was some distant memory and nothing substantial.

Lawrence was still there as well, though his way of coping seemed to be playing butler. He would go around and ask everyone specifically if they wanted something to eat or drink. He got the kids all their meals and brought it to them, despite their protests. He usually ate with the three of them as well, joking _'I'd rather be with people my own age!'_

The grandfather had done his best to cheer the kids up, and for the most part it worked, with stories of Shawn and plans for the future. He teased Lassiter about their relationship and acted as if Shawn had just gone on vacation and would be back anytime now. It was actually very refreshing for the three teens to have someone act like Shawn was alive and coming back, and not dead in a ditch somewhere.

Henry was obviously putting up a front for the three, and they could tell, but they said nothing because they were secretly grateful for it. But Henry's shell was cracking and it was obvious. If he wasn't having angry outbursts at the officers, he was hiding in his room or the bathroom for hours at a time (crying, they were sure). The three were trying to be strong for him as well, and it seemed to work a little bit, but he was a broken man and they knew he couldn't be fixed until his son came home.

So with a sigh, the three stood and made their way downstairs to offer their support once more.

--

Shawn's whole body shook, he wasn't sure he had enough energy to lean over and vomit once again. He had never experienced pain like this before. He had never even thought such agony existed. He glanced down at his shirtless, shaking body but had to look away, knowing he would be unable to suppress the gag-reflex if he looked any longer.

Shawn's body was like a battlefield. Patches of skin were gone, cut off as part of some ritual he didn't understand. The areas around the patches of lost skin were almost black with bruising. All the patches were about seven inches long and four inches wide, there were three missing from different spots on his chest and one from his upper thigh on his left leg. He'd only been awake for half of the removal of the first patch on his chest, but when he woke up there were three missing from his chest that stung and burned and bled. Later he was awake for about two thirds of the patch from his thigh. He had never experienced such agony as to have his own skin torn away from his slowly.

Besides the missing patches of skin, his head still ached both from when he was knocked out and from the lack of sleep. He was also freezing, his whole body shaking from the cold (which, in turn, was aggravating the wounds). Shawn sat only in his boxers. _'You'd like me to strip you naked, wouldn't you, you sick child?'_ His grandfather had teased. But that wasn't even the main reason he was cold, it was also that he was soaking wet, having been drenched in holy water several times.

Shawn closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain and cold, and tried to sleep. Trying to comfort himself he thought of his friends and his father. He pretended he was off somewhere playing a prank with Gus, or that he was out shopping with Juliet, or fishing with his father, or kissing Lassiter. He thought back to the night on the porch, however long ago it was, Shawn had lost count of the hours, of the days. He had no idea what time it was, if it were day or night.

He tried to calm himself a little and fall asleep but his eyes shot open as the sound of the front door opening filled the air. He had no idea where he was in the cabin, but he was pretty sure he was only a few rooms away from the front door.

He squeezed his eyes shut as the door to the room opened and some light filled the air. As his tormentor spoke he had to resist the urge to cry.

"Hello there, boy. You've been so good that I decided to reward you." Shawn stopped dead.

"W-what?"

--

The phone rang.

Everyone stopped dead, terrified by what might be on the other end. They all held their breath as the techs quickly positioned themselves. They put on their headphones, typed in something on their computers and then pointed at Henry. With a nod he picked up the phone with a shaking hand.

"Hello?"

There was a pause, then a voice that sent chills down Henry's spine. "Henry, how are you, my boy?"

"I'd be better if I had my son at home with me." Henry said calmly, he glanced at the children, who were all listening, to see their terrified, yet determined, faces.

"Well, Henry, that's not an option at the moment." Henry bit his lip, suppressing the vulgarities that wanted to escape from his mouth. "We're in the middle of cleansing him Henry, you don't want him now, not when he's still riddled with all that evil."

"Evil?" Henry snarled into the phone, about to let all the vulgarities rip, when a tech hit a button and his phone was muted.

"Stay calm, Henry!" Hastings whispered beside him, "You _know_ you can't anger him. That's one of the first rules!" Henry bit his lip but nodded and the tech turned him back on.

There was a chuckle on the other end, "You've never been good at controlling your anger, Henry. I see that's where Shawn gets it from. But don't worry, it'll all be over soon."

The kids all seemed to gasp at once, like they were one being. Henry managed to keep his voice calm, but he couldn't stop it when his voice cracked, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that soon he will be completely cleansed! Soon he will be rid of the demon possessing him and he will just be a boy! No longer riddled with these _visions_ and these _evil urges_! He shall be normal, clean!"

The room was staring at Henry, sympathetic looks on their faces as they realized how driven Clarence was. "Clarence, you can't. You know he can't help who he loves-"

"That's bull, Henry! Lies driven into your mind by the media! The demons run the media, don't you know that!? They rule you all! They've distorted your minds! But not me, no! I've remained cleansed for the Lord has deemed me so!"

"The Lord?" Henry whispered.

"Yes, the Lord has come to me! He has told me that I must cleanse your son of his wrongs."

"There's nothing wrong with my son!"

"Nothing wrong with your son?? He's in love with a _man_! It's wrong, it's disgusting! He's _disgusting_!" Clarence seemed to spit out the last word, as if he were speaking to Shawn. "And those visions, lies sent to his mind by the devil!"

Everyone glanced at Henry with '_What?_' looks on their faces. "Clarence, I don't know what you're talking about-"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Henry pulled the phone from his ear and the techs jumped as Clarence screamed into the phone. "I know what he his! He is a hand of the devil! Well, _I_ am a hand of the LORD! And I can clean him! I can make him who he is supposed to be! What the Lord wants him to be!"

Henry squeezed his eyes shut as he felt himself beginning to crack, and suddenly he didn't care who was around him or who was listening, he just wanted to talk to him boy. So he begged. "Please…please, Clarence, let me talk to him."

"Talk to him? Why would you want to talk to him? He's not clean yet!"

"Please…please…just…just let me talk to him, please."

There was a sigh on the other end, "I see it is cruel to deny a father his son, no matter how evil his son is. I am not a cruel man, Henry." Henry had to suppress a snort at that, but none of the techs did. "I am a righteous man. I will allow you to talk to your son."

"Thank you." Henry breathed out, his whole body shaking. There were some shifting sounds and a low threat that Henry couldn't make out, and then the sound Henry had thought he might never hear again.

"Dad?"

--

_I know, I know, not the best chapter, but still I hope you all enjoyed it, and I hope you can forgive me for the breaks in-between chapters. _

_Am I still evil? Heheheh…_

_I'll see you all when I get back!! Thanks for reading! Now go watch the new episode!_

_-claire_


	18. Chapter 18

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 18 **

**Note**: Hey y'all, I'm back! And covered in mosquito bites, woo! And HOLY CRAP! _Over 200 reviews_?! Oh my God, I adore you guys. I really do. I'll have to give you all something extra special soon!

**But, first, I'd like to say something.** I received a troubling review on the past chapter that made me realize I may be insulting a group of people I consider myself a part of. The review basically said I was insulting all who believe in God by making them look psychotic. That was _not_ my intention at _all_. I myself have been raised in a religious family, going to church every Sunday and going to catholic schools all my life. I'm not a bible-beater or an extremist who pushes religion down other's throats, we all have our own beliefs and we need to respect that. But to say I was intentionally badmouthing all those who believe in God is downright _false_. I'm not trying to make Clarence look psychotic for believing in God, I'm trying to make him look psychotic because he _is_ _psychotic_. Not because he's religious, but because he's bent the line between extreme and acceptable. Now I'm not saying there aren't extremists out there like Clarence, obviously I'm acknowledging that by having him as a character.

**The bottom line is**: I'm not saying all, religious or not, who believe in God are psychotic or extreme, so please don't think I am, all right? That's just stupid.

And also, thank you so very much to some of my reviewers who stuck up for me - Squeedle, A maze thing, and Flatliner345. This chapter is dedicated to you guys!

Anyway, super long speech over! Enjoy!! (PS: Lots of swearing this chapter, look out!)

--

There was so much emotion put into the one word. _Dad_. So much fear, so much relief, so much pain. _Dad_. His voice was raw, whether from misuse, screaming, sobbing or all of the above, all sitting frozen in that living room were unsure. _Dad_. As the word was uttered they could all hear a hitch in his breathing over the phone, like he'd long since been crying and couldn't stop – or was it he just plain couldn't breathe?

"Shawn?" Henry whispered it out like it would be the last word he ever uttered, even if that were the case the father felt it fitting his last breath should be his son's name. His son that he wanted back so badly his heart physically ached.

"Dad." It was breathed out this time, a confirmation rather than a question. "Daddy." It was a plea, a sob, a desperate cry for hope, all packed in a tiny, two-syllable word.

"Oh, Shawn. Oh, God, Shawn. My boy, my baby boy…" Henry actually sobbed out, not caring as the others looked at him in shock. No one had ever seen Henry Spencer cry, let alone _sob_. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"

"Dad…I—I'm not ok, let's put it that way." Shawn hiccuped, sniffled, cleared his throat. Even Henry could tell by those few words that his little boy was trying to be strong. Images of a four-year-old Shawn with a heavily bleeding leg filled his mind. _I'm ok, Daddy, _he had said through his tears as Henry all but passed out from panic. _I'm ok, Daddy. Don't be scared._

"Oh, Shawnie…" Henry himself cleared his throat. He needed to be strong for Shawn. His poor boy couldn't do this, not on his own. _He shouldn't have to do it at all_, Henry thought bitterly. "Are you bleeding?" He didn't get a response. "Shawn?"

There was a sigh, "Yea."

"A lot?"

"Define 'a lot'."

"Shawn." Henry said warningly, quickly recoiling, shocked by how easily the two could slip into their normal banter despite the situation. "Where are you bleeding?"

"Chest, leg…head, maybe. It hurts, that's for sure." Shawn said reluctantly after a moment. _You are not doing this alone, boy._ "Dad…dad I'm sorry. I should have known that he was lying. I mean, I could _feel_ it but I didn't even notice it." Henry didn't care one bit that everyone around, excluding the kids and Lawrence, didn't understand that statement, especially after the next whispered sentence, "It's all my fault. Maybe he's right."

"No! God damnit, no Shawn!" Henry cried, slamming his hand so hard down on the table holding all the computers that their screens fizzed for a moment as everyone in the room jumped in surprise. "It is _not_ your fault. It wasn't your fault when he lied to you, and it won't be your fault when he's put away to rot in a cell for the rest of his decrepit life! You got that? And don't you dare believe any of that bullshit. He's the farthest thing from right! I mean, brining God into the picture, he _made_ you. He made you the way you _are_. You were _born_ this way. There's _nothing_ wrong with you." They both knew he wasn't just talking about the homosexuality. "Do you understand?" He asked quietly, his voice cracking with emotion.

There was a sniffle. "Yea…yea, daddy." Another choked sob escaped across the receiver. "Dad, tell—tell Gus, Lassie and Jules that I…that I love them. And know that…that I love you. So much. I'm sorry for all that I've done or said. But I love you dad, so much."

Henry glanced over at the kids to see all three had tears freely flowing down their cheeks, Juliet's hand was plastered over her mouth as he body jerked with silent sobs. Lassiter and Gus stood on either side of her, each leaning on the other for support in all senses.

"Oh, oh, Shawnie. I…I love you so much. I love you so so much." Henry choked out, swallowing a sob. "And I'm gonna get you out of there, ok? We're gonna be out back grilling our latest catches before you know it, ok?"

"Ok, dad." He closed his eyes and could just see his son's smile in his mind.

"You'll be ok, son. Don't be scared."

_I'm ok, Daddy. Don't be scared._

Suddenly there was a scuffling sound and a gasp of pain. A muffled '_That's enough now, demon. That wasn't for __**you**__._' Then, "Satisfied, Henry?"

"Yea, but I'd be even more so if you'd give me my damn son back." He growled.

"You mean _damned_ son." Henry opened his mouth to holler something obscene into the phone just as Hastings hit him in the shoulder and Clarence said, "Well, I've paid my dues to a father. Now, I must return to my duties for the Lord."

"Clarence don't you dare-!!"

The line went dead.

"God fucking DAMNIT!" Henry screamed at the top of his lungs as he slammed the phone down. It felt as if the whole house shook. "Damnit!" He cried again as he spun around and kicked the coffee table. "Fuck! Tell me you fucking got something?!" Henry snarled at the technicians, making them frantically type on their computers.

"We—we uh, we tracked the call. But it was made on a cell phone, so it uh—" The tech stumbled over his words in a panic.

"It should give us a somewhat good idea of where the call might have called from," Another older tech continued, "But…but somehow he re-routed it and the computers say the call came from this house."

Henry stared at the tech for a long moment, breathing heavily through his flaring nostrils. Hastings took a step forward unconsciously, afraid his partner might attack the tech. Henry started off quiet, his tone getting louder with every word. "How the fuck did he RE- ROUTE THE CALL?! He barely knows how to work a fucking LANDLINE!"

"I—I don't know sir." The older one said quickly, trying to hold his ground.

Henry took a threatening step forward but suddenly stopped, before spinning around and viciously grabbing his car keys off the table and storming towards the door.

"Henry, Henry! Where are you going??" Hastings called, going to follow but stopping dead as the father spun around, a murderous look in his eye.

"I'm going to talk to Elyse."

And the door slammed.

--

Shawn blinked up at the bare bulb hanging above him. He bit his lip, closing his eyes again. He tugged on his tied up hands but stopped as he tugged on his new wound, a deep slice on the back of his right shoulder where Clarence had drained some of his blood into a bowl for the rest of this psychotic, seemingly-never-ending ritual.

His grandfather stood at the table a few feet from Shawn. "Gra-" Shawn stopped, remembering the enraged punch he received last time he called Clarence 'grandpa'. At the thought Shawn licked absentmindedly at the blood still slightly trickling from his probably broken nose. "S-sir." He said, quietly, but he knew Clarence heard him.

"What is it, deviant?" The older man asked without turning around from his mixture, that the weak teen was sure contained a good deal of his blood and skin.

"I—I need to use the restroom."

Clarence's movements stopped. "Excuse me?"

"I—I need to pee. Please."

"You'll just have to hold it." He could just see the roll of the older man's eyes.

"No, please, I—I know I can't. I never could. If you don't let me go it'll get really messy, and you'll never be able to get it out of wood or this nice rug once it soaks in. Believe me, I-I know. I had a problem when I was a kid. R-remember?"

There was a long pause as Clarence stood frozen, back still to Shawn. "Yes. I do." It was whispered, "Back when you were just a boy." Shawn's heart froze, and for a fleeting moment he thought maybe he'd gotten through to his grandfather. "Before you were _tainted_." The older man spun around and Shawn's hopes were crushed. He would never get through to him.

Which was why he had to do this.

His grandfather walked to him and roughly untied his grandson's bloody wrists, pulling Shawn up harshly. As he stood shakily his grandfather gripped his arm tightly, painfully.

_Now or never_.

Shawn swung his arm quickly, slamming his elbow into his grandfather's face as hard as he could. There was a loud, sickening crunch as Clarence crashed to the ground. Shawn bolted, running for the door. He made it to the hallway, he could see the main room where the door to freedom was. _I'm so close!_ He screamed in his head. _It's right there!_

But as he hit the end of the hallway he felt something hard strike his back and he went crashing forward. As he torn chest slammed down into the hard wooden floor Shawn could see stars, the agony was worse than when the skin was actually removed. He could hear Clarence behind him and knew he had to move, but suddenly his legs didn't work. He tried to drag himself forward but the feeling of his wounds scraping against the old wood was worse than falling on it and he found himself vomiting what little he had in him.

In between gagging and choking, Shawn sobbed. He could see the door. He could see his freedom. It was ten feet away, it was _so fucking close_. But it was out of reach. He couldn't have it.

He felt Clarence's big hands clasp onto his feet and he knew what was coming. "Oh, God, please!" He screamed, unable to stop himself. "Help me!"

"The Lord doesn't even _look_ at your kind, beast! _I_ am helping you!"

"Please, please, Grandpa…" Shawn sobbed. All he got in response was a rough pull at his feet and he was dragged across the floor.

Shawn screamed out in pure agony.

--

"Spencer!"

"Henry, stop!"

"Man, stop it, you shouldn't-!"

Henry pushed past all the officers who'd been obviously warned of his arrival. As they tried to convince him not to go to the elderly woman in interrogation room three Henry paid them no mind. He stomped up to the room and threw the door open with such force the other's feared he mind shatter the unbreakable window.

The elderly woman sitting at the table jumped almost a foot off her chair at the entrance. "Henry?" She gawked.

"No, it's fucking _Santa Clause_." He snarled, stomping up to the table, leaning down hard on it and getting in the woman's face. "Where _the fuck_ is my son, Elyse?"

"I told everyone, I don't know!" She cried, holding her ground. "I don't know why or where Clarence would take him! I swear!"

Henry held his position, just glaring so hard at her that the cops standing panickedly at the door feared she might have a heart attack right there from that stare. Then he let out a deep breath he'd been holding and quietly growled out, "All right. You don't know." The woman breathed a sigh of relief, still holding his gaze. "How did Clarence suddenly get technically savvy?"

She stared, confused. "What?"

"He somehow diverted the call so when we tried to trace it it came back as my number. How did he do it?!" He didn't care if Elyse held no blame in this case, she still denied his son the love he deserved over all these years. She didn't even deserve any mercy.

"I—I don't know. Clarence is worse than I am with computers. I-I don't-"

"Think!" Henry screamed, slamming his hands down on the table, causing her to jump once more.

"I-I don't know!" A pause, then, "…may-maybe the girl next door…"

"What??" Henry snarled, all but shaking the woman.

"There's a girl! A girl, she lives next door to us! She's a college student, she's going into Computer Sciences or something like-"

"What's her name?!"

"Ah—I—I don't-Gomez, maybe? Penny...or—or wait, Garcia! Her name is Penelope Garcia!" Elyse cried.

Henry threw himself back from the table and ran for the door as Elyse crumpled into sobs behind him, totally ignored. Pointing at a random cop he screamed "Call Hastings! Tell him to get all his officers over to 1967 Elmwood! We have a lead!"

--

_A little short, but I wanted to leave the next scene for the next chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed! And woo, a day early too! –__hands out champagne glasses filled with pineapple juice _– To 200 reviews!

_Thank you for reading!!_

_-claire_

_PS: Anyone recognize Garcia? :D_


	19. Chapter 19

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 19**

**Note**: Hello my amazing little chickadees! I can't believe how many reviews I have! This is totally wicked!! Here's another update!

Also, please just note, this is _not_ a Criminal Minds crossover. I just threw Garcia in the mix for fun!

Enjoy! (PS: I gave Madeline the maiden name 'Hunter', is there a real one?)

--

Shawn could feel his heart beating faster and faster. All over him the blood flowed from his body, oozing out with every beat. He was pretty sure the patches of lost skin were getting infected. They were all re-torn when he was dragged across the wooden floor a good hundred feet.

Blood trickled down from his forehead and into his eyes from the new wounds he'd acquired after his little 'stunt.' His face was now bruised (and swollen, he was sure) and bleeding when his grandfather had 'taught him his lesson.' That lesson included a lot of punching and strength Shawn had no idea Clarence had.

Shawn glanced down at his bloody hands and flashed on his vision from weeks ago. His hands shook and his head ached horribly. _Oh, God_. He thought, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Open your eyes, heathen!" His eyes shot open as his grandfather screamed the eerily familiar statement in his ear.

He felt his lip quivering, tears forming in his eyes. Why hadn't he said anything? Why hadn't he told anyone about his dreams? Why didn't he talk to his dad? _Damnit_. "My…my dad…" Shawn managed to choke out over swollen lips.

"It's too late for you, demon. He can't help you. Only _I_ can. Your soul is lost. But I can help you _repent_." He felt himself panicking, just as he knew he would. He felt tears streaming down his face.

"_It'll all be over soon, don't worry_…" Shawn froze. That wasn't the same as his vision. Or maybe it was, and he just couldn't remember. But this definitely wasn't his grandfather's voice. This voice was soft, familiar, loving, but most of all distant. He recognized it. It was a voice he thought he'd never hear again.

"M-mom?" He whispered out.

Suddenly pain rippled through his whole body as his grandfather took his knife to Shawn's chest, _carving_. Throwing his head back he screamed out in tortured agony.

"You do _not_ get to mention my daughter! She was a _saint_! All she ever wanted was a child to love! A pure, good child! And what she got was _you_." His grandfather jerked the carving knife harshly. Shawn screamed, he sobbed, it had all melted into one pitiful, heart wrenching sound.

"Ah-aahh-please!"

"She killed herself because of _you_!" Clarence screamed over his grandson's loud, agonizing sobs. "She's eternally damned because of _you_! It's _your_ fault I don't have my baby girl anymore! _Your_ fault she's gone!" Clarence had tears streaming down his cheeks now. But Shawn didn't notice, he was too busy screaming in agony.

Suddenly the knife was wrenched from Shawn's chest, causing him to let out one last yelp with it. Once it was gone Shawn let his head fall to his chest, his crying leaving behind pink trails of blood and salty tears as it streamed down his face and dripped onto his chest. His body shook with sobs and his hitching breathing.

"She's gone because of you." His grandfather whispered, his voice shaking. "Shit…" The older man whispered. Shawn dared not glance up at his mother's father, wondering what made him sound so resigned all of the sudden. "Look at your chest. Look what you made me do."

Shawn opened his eyes and looked down at his chest. It just looked like a whole mass of almost-black blood bubbling out of him. His breathing hitched again a few times in a row as he swallowed the sobs.

"I completely messed it up." For another split second Shawn thought maybe again his grandfather might have realized what he was doing. "I completely messed up the left part of the symbol!" Once again Shawn's heart sank as his grandfather walked out, obviously to go regroup and figure out how to fix his mistake. Shawn held his breath, waiting to hear the returning footsteps that would mean more pain. But they never came.

Letting out a shallow breath, he let his eyes slip closed and cried himself to sleep.

--

Gus laughed, a laugh he needed for a long time now. A laugh that he thought he might never utter again, but found possible with his new friend, his new girlfriend. It was a much-needed laugh, but not the same kind of laugh he got when he was with Shawn.

But he was thankful for it nonetheless.

"And you wouldn't believe how pissed Mr. Spencer was. We had to save up for a whole year to buy him a new easy chair."

Juliet giggled and Lassiter laughed. All three appreciated the little distraction of sharing their interactions with Shawn over the years. Though Gus had far more than the other two combined, it still felt good to talk and laugh about Shawn as if he we just out fishing with his father, or on a trip to Vancouver with his Grandfather. As if he were still a _person_ and not a _victim_.

It just felt good to get their mind of off the 'could be's.

Lassiter sighed and leaned back against Shawn's bed, a smile on his lips. "I'm so glad we got to know you two."

Gus smiled, "I second that statement. If it weren't for you guys life would not have been nearly as exciting."

"Shouldn't we be the ones saying that about you two?" Juliet asked, grinning herself. "I mean, we were the boring vice-president and treasurer, we weren't that exciting." She glanced at Lassiter, who nodded in agreement. "I mean you two…you've just totally spiced up our lives." Juliet leaned forward and took Gus's hand in hers, "I'm so glad you did." Gus smiled into her pretty hazel eyes and nodded.

And then suddenly, tears were forming in his eyes.

"Shawn did the same for me over the years. Without him I'd just be 'Boring Burton'. He's totally made me a different person…and for the better…" He trailed off and looked away, sniffling. "I don't want to lose Shawn." He whispered, "I can't lose him." Their lighthearted conversation suddenly was gone, in the blink of an eye, and it was like all the air had been sucked from the room as reality came crashing back.

He felt someone wrap their arms around him and to his surprise it wasn't Juliet's. "We won't lose him, Gus. I couldn't do it either." Lassiter's tear-filled voice responded. He felt Lassiter shaking a little, as if crying, and soon Gus joined in too. Almost immediately so did Juliet, wrapping her arms around both her boys.

They sat there like that for a long moment until Lassiter was the first to pull away, running his sleeve under his nose he laughed a little, the smile not meeting his blood-shot eyes. "Way to ruin the moment, eh?" The other two let out single laughs, humorless laughs.

Before either could say anything more there was a loud commotion downstairs. Gus stood and went to the bedroom door to figure out what was going on. Lassiter made his way to the window as Juliet got up herself. He saw almost all the officers running from the house. Throwing open the window he cried out, "Hey! Where are you guys going?"

Most ignored him but one officer was kind enough to turn around and respond as he continued to run to his car. He uttered the words that made all three teens' hearts explode with hope.

"We're going to meet Spencer, we got a lead!"

--

Henry haphazardly pulled his car into the driveway of his in-laws, pulling his car half onto their immaculate lawn and half in the actual driveway. He made sure to have the front wheel in their award-winning garden before hopping out into said garden. His late wife's parents lived on the corner of the street so the only likely 'next door' was the house to the left.

Running towards the other house he stomped up to the front step and slammed his fists against the wood, wanting an immediate answer. He heard sirens behind him and other cars pulling up in a frenzy just as the door opened.

There stood a startled looking blond girl, no older than twenty. She was plump and her clothes were almost as bright as the streaks and accessories in her hair. She nervously pushed her red glasses up the bridge of her nose and cautiously asked, "Uh…is there a problem?"

"Penelope Garcia?" Henry asked before she had finished her question.

"Yes, what-?"

Henry opened his mouth to let out a spew of words he would probably regret when he was cut off by "Henry!" He turned to see Hastings, as well as a few officers, run up behind him. Hastings turned to the young woman. "Ms. Garcia?" She nodded. "May we come inside? We need to talk." She nodded numbly, a terrified look on her face, as she stepped aside to let the men at her door in. She jumped a little as Henry grunted loudly when he walked by her.

She shut the door and led them to the living room. Once they were all seated she started to ask, "May I ask what-?" But she didn't get to finish.

"Did you help your neighbor, Clarence Hunter, set up a way to mask his cell phone number when traced?" Henry barked out, not able to hold himself in any longer.

Her eyes widened, "I—what?"

"Answer the question!"

"Henry, settle down…" Hastings put his hand on Henry's arm, trying to calm the man and not scare their only possible lead.

"No! I'm not gonna _settle down_! If she did help him she's an accomplice to the man who kidnapped and is _torturing_ my son!" Henry was standing now, screaming at the top of his lungs.

He heard a strangled gasp from behind him and turned to see Garcia, her hand pressed to her lips in utter shock, the poor girl having gone white as a sheet. "What?" She whispered, "A kidnapping? I-I don't-"

"Ms. Garcia." Hastings said calmly, so Henry wouldn't do something he'd regret and/or get arrested for. "Did you or did you not help Mr. Hunter learn how to re-route his cell phone calls so they'd be traced back to a landline?"

With wide eyes she nodded, "I-I I didn't mean to do anything wrong." She whispered, trailed off, tears forming in her eyes.

"You may not have but you did!" Henry cried.

"Henry, that's enough!" Hastings finally barked, "Either calm the fuck down or go outside." Henry snapped his mouth shut, glaring at his partner. "Which will it be?" Henry blinked once, sighed and sat down, "Good. Now, Ms. Garcia, please tell us what you did for him."

"Sir, I don't know anything about your son, I swear." She said beggingly to Henry.

With a sigh Henry said in a civil tone, "Just tell us what you know. Please."

Staring at the broken man, the tears escaped her eyes. Wiping them away she continued. "He told me he just wanted the call to be traced back to his house. Said that the phone was for 'work emergencies' only and he didn't want his job to find out he was using it." She hiccuped, "So he gave me his landline and I programmed his phone using my computer."

"Was the number 1-619-2538?"

Garcia blinked at Henry, "Yes, but how did you-?"

"That's _my_ home number." Henry shook his head, "Your neighbor, the grandfather of my child, kidnapped my son and is holding him in an unknown location. By re-routing his call you helped him evade getting caught."

Garcia's eyes widened. "Oh—oh my God…I didn't…I never…"

They sat in silence for a moment, then, "Henry," Hastings said quietly to his partner. "She's not a part of this."

"I know." Henry sighed. "But now what do we do?"

"I can help." Garcia said suddenly, looking eager, "Please. Please I had no idea—I-I want to help. I may be able to trace where his call came from."

Both detectives' heads whipped around at that. "What??" They both asked at once.

"It could be difficult since I don't have the phone with me. But—I mean, maybe I could hack the signal and figure out where it's coming from, I think I still have all his phone's information on my computer. If I do there's a good chance."

Henry found himself smiling for the first time in days, "Hastings, get the boys to pack up her computer and get her to the techs! I want my boy home by dinner time!"

--

_Hey guys! You like? I hope so, because all I've eaten while writing this was mini-jawbreakers and candy cigarettes…so I'm not really well nourished :D _

_**OPPORTUNITY**__: The first person to figure out the significance of Henry's phone number gets to be a character in this fic! Reminder: the number was 16192538. -shoots pistol- And the race iiisss on! (Hehehe…)_

_Thanks for reading!!_

_-claire_

_PS: I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about when it comes to the technical stuff…so could you please just play along? Hehheh…_


	20. Chapter 20

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 20**

**Note**: Oh my God, I made it to _chapter 20_! SWEET! And also, sorry, again, for makin' you wait a little longer than I meant to make you wait. As they say, life just got in the way.

Enjoy!!

--

"Henry." The panicked father stopped his pacing and turned when addressed by his partner. He found himself staring at three women, one holding a laptop, one holding a small, clear box filled with wires and gadgets, and one holding several notebooks. "Henry, these are the best technicians the West Coast has to offer. When the chief found out about Shawn he put in a special request. These are Agents Terry Russert, Lisa Winchester and Patricia Thesealion. They came all the way from Vancouver, that's why it's taken so long for the requests to go through."

Henry looked them all over for a moment. A long pause, then the father took a step forward. "Will you be able to find my son?"

A look passed across both Terry and Lisa's faces, an almost heartbroken look, while Patricia gave a weak smile, "That's what we plan on, Mr. Spencer."

Henry gave a weak smile in return, looking at all three, "Your presence is very much appreciated. I—if you need anything don't be afraid to ask. Ms. Garcia is over with our techs Mike and Andrew, she's the witness that you'll be working with."

All three nodded and made their way to the center of operations. Henry ran a hand over his face. "We're gonna get him back, Hen. We're so close now, I know we'll get him back."

Henry nodded, taking a deep breath, "I—I know. I know it's just…we're coming so close and all I can think is…God, what has my boy been through? How…how can he possibly bounce back from this?"

Hastings smiled reassuringly, though the smile only barely met his eyes. He patted Henry on the back softly, "I promise you, Henry. It'll be ok. It may not be now, it may not be a week from now, it may not even be a year from now. But things will get better. And you know why?" Henry followed his partner's eye-line as he turned, he saw him glancing at Juliet, Gus and Lassiter, who all sat on the steps, watching the technicians with rapt attention. "Because he has those three." He turned back to Henry, "And even more so, because he has you." Henry looked into Hastings' eyes, "You can get him through anything, I know it."

Henry felt his eyes welling up, he found himself whispering, "Thanks, Jim." And suddenly he was hugging his partner, as the tears flowed down his cheeks. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Henry…you're welcome."

--

The three techs worked along side their young, and surprisingly skilled, witness as she worked silently, not saying much of anything to the three them, or to Mike or Andrew, who'd both gone out back for a smoke. "You got anything yet, Lisa?" Terry asked, turning to her counterpart.

"The scan is still running through, it's gonna take another five minutes, probably." Terry nodded before turning to her other coworker.

"What about you, 'Trish?"

"The coordinates are flyin' past me like a freaking bat out of hell. They're all over the place. Garcia, you got this good." Patricia said, turning to the witness with half admiration and half annoyance. The blond got a sheepish look on her face, gave a mumbled 'sorry' before typing even faster on her own computer. Patricia looked back to her coworkers, "I'm still working through it. But I think I'm getting closer."

Terry and Lisa nodded in the same moment, "I can't get over how horrible this is." Lisa finally said quietly, watching Henry as she waited for her scan to finish. "I mean, a cop expects the threats to be all around him…just _not_ in his family, you know? I could never imagine what that's like. I mean, to go through all _this_."

Terry let out a said sigh glancing up from the writing she was doing in her notebook, regarding the work Garcia was doing on her computer. "I still don't know how he's staying so composed. Lord knows if Jack's dad took Jess or Luke I'd have broken down long ago."

"I think he already has." Patricia said thoughtfully, her coworkers glanced at her. "I think the only way he can function is just if he puts up appearances, keep the mask in place…but I think he's long gone…I mean, who wouldn't be?"

Terry and Lisa nodded thoughtfully, before Terry sighed once again and added, "I think we need to get back to work. The faster we move the faster that poor man can have his son back."

--

"You kids want some lunch?" Lawrence's voice rang, pulling their attention from the techs to their missing friend's grandfather. "I made grilled cheese!" The older man said with forced joy as he held out a plate with three sandwiches on it. Gus took the plate and placed it on the step above him, beside Juliet and in front of/below Lassiter.

"Thank you, Lawrence. That's really sweet of you." Juliet smiled warmly.

"No problem, little lady." Lawrence winked before turning and starting to walk away, when suddenly he stopped. His head dropping a bit, his back still to them.

All three sat up a little, "Lawrence?" Gus and Lassiter asked at once.

"What's wrong?" Juliet asked, standing and putting a soft hand on his shoulder.

With slightly trembling shoulders Lawrence quickly shook his head, still not turning around. "No—nothing, nothing…never mind. Enjoy the sandwiches." And with that the older man walked away quickly, going to his guestroom and shutting the door.

Juliet brought her hand back to her chest, whispering, "Even he can't hold it in anymore…"

"Now you know it's gotten bad…" Lassiter whispered himself.

Gus nodded in agreement, keeping his head down, "He was the most composed at his wife's funeral…he…God knows this world is gonna implode pretty soon. I don't think any of us can take this pressure anymore…"

Juliet nodded, glancing at the techs once again, "Before those three women got here, those techs were working for nineteen hours straight." She turned to her friends who were staring slightly. She shrugged, "I counted."

She took a step back and sat on the steps as Gus took a small bite of one of the sandwiches, not really looking that into it. "Guys…" Lassiter whispered, "What…what if…"

"Don't." Gus said suddenly, swallowing hard. "Don't say it."

Tear welled up in the Irish teen's eyes, which he quickly scrubbed away. "But I can't help but…I mean I don't know if I can…I mean…I mean I…" _I love him_.

Juliet took Lassiter' hand's firmly in hers. "Carlton. We _will_ get him back. And it could be a while before we get _our_ Shawn back, but he'll be coming home soon. I just know it."

Lassiter sniffled slightly, smiling weakly, "You the psychic now?"

Juliet smiled softly, looking down but not letting go of her best friend's hands, "Sure…let's go with that…"

Gus placed his hand atop both his friends', a strong look on his features, "It could just be all my years with Shawn rubbing off on me, but I agree. We're gonna get Shawn back soon." He tightened his grip on his friends' hands. "We'll get him back."

Almost as if on cue there was a loud commotion as several things, some books and boxes, crashed onto the floor from the techs table. "We've got something!" Garcia was crying eagerly, "We've got something!!"

And then the previously quiet house was thrown into chaos. The three teens stood, trying to figure out what was going on, but they could barely catch what the techs were saying.

"…re-directed it, and we managed to get it back to it's original number…"

"…tried to follow signal, it took a bit, but we got it…"

"…a cabin. Did Clarence own a cabin? The address…"

"…this _has_ to be it."

And suddenly everyone was up, no longer standing around the computers. The techs and Garcia stood in place, watching, just like the teens, as all the officers went to run out. The three kids took a step forward, but suddenly Henry was yelling. "Don't! Kids, you can't come. You can't see this."

"But—Mr. Spencer!"

"Dad, watch them!" Henry called to Lawrence who had since emerged from his room. As the father ran from the house they could hear him saying, "We're coming, Shawn. We're coming!"

Lassiter pressed his hand to his mouth, falling back onto the steps. He looked up at his two best friends, tears in all their eyes. "They're gonna get him. He's coming home. Shawn's coming home!"

--

_It's—it's gotten so bad. I-I don't know how much more of this I can take… _

_I'm so cold, but I'm so hot…I don't know what's wrong with me…_

_Can't think straight…can't come up with escape plan…_

_Jules…Gus…oh, don't be sad, please don't be sad…I hope you're not…not worried…_

_Leg hurts…head hurts…chest hurts…I—I don't know which—which hurts the most…_

_He's chanting something again…he's frustrated, he's angry…he keeps cutting into my chest…it hurts so bad…I can't take it anymore…_

_Lassie? I love you, I love you, how are you? Lassie? Don't cry…please don't cry…I love you…_

_It hurts to breath, I don't know what to do…my throat hurts when I try to swallow, my chest hurts when I take in a breath…_

_Mom? Mom, I'm sorry…I didn't…didn't mean to make you so sad…_

_I can't shift, I can't move at all, the pain is too unbearable…_

_Grandpa, stop, stop…please, Grandpa…stop…_

_I can't keep crying…I can't __stop__ crying…_

_Dad…daddy…daddy, please…please, I need you…where are you, daddy?_

_I can't hold on anymore…_ _Anyone…anyone…_

_Please…_

**-TBC-**

_A little shorter than usual, not really sure about this chapter, definitely not my best, but I didn't want to leave you all waiting any longer. _

_Thanks for reading!!_

_-claire_


	21. Chapter 21

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 21**

**Note**: Woo, my story is of the legal drinking age now! :D Anyway, I start school tomorrow so everything is gonna slow down (I know, it's already bad, too…) so I wanted to give you a chapter before I have to get into gear.

Enjoy!!

--

Henry came to a horrifying realization as he and thirteen other policemen drove toward that damned cabin: _I could walk in there and find my son's dead body._

"We could already be too late…" Henry found himself whispering aloud, knuckles tightening on the steering wheel, turning white.

"Henry…Henry no, you can't think that way." Hastings said beside him, making Henry suddenly remember he was in the car with him.

"Jim…" He said shaking his head, "What if my boy is already gone?" His voice cracked and he pried one of his hands from the steering wheel to scrub at his tearing eyes.

Jim placed a hand comfortingly on Henry's knee, "He will be."

Henry didn't look at his partner, but after a long pause nodded slowly and whispered, "Yea…yea. He has to be."

--

With the ambulance waiting at the edge of the woods, the half dozen cars drove cautiously on the dirt road that led through the backwoods. They made sure to be quite, trying to take their prey by surprise. Once parked a good quarter mile away they made their silent trek to the cabin, guns drawn, Henry in the lead. The father stopped dead, his heart going frozen, as it came into sight.

The cabin.

It looked like something out of a movie. Paint chipping, half of the front steps gone, curtains drawn in most windows, while the rest were boarded up. The roof looked like it could fall in at any second. There was a lone truck, a truck Henry recognized, sitting in front.

And this was where his son was.

This was where his son had been for the past four days. This is where he'd been tortured. This is where he'd cried.

Cried for his daddy.

"Henry?"

Snapping out of his stupor he nodded and motioned for everyone to continue on. They all managed to step onto the porch without touching the steps, knowing they'd make noise. Glancing in one of the windows Henry noted that there was no one in the main room. Motioning to his men he carefully opened the old door, cringing when he creaked slightly. They all froze, waiting for a reaction, but when nothing happened for several minutes they continued on. The six SWAT members that had accompanied them stepped in front, leading the way into the house. They could hear muffled talking down the hallway and snuck down to the only door that light peaked out from under.

Henry stood on one side of the door, Hastings at the other, a SWAT member in between, ready to throw the door open. Holding up his hand, he counted down from three, and Henry suddenly felt panicked.

_I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm gonna throw up. My boy, oh but my boy…_

Three…

_Get a grip, Henry! Your son is in there! He needs you! You need him!_

Two…

_Oh God, this is it. This is it. This could be the moment I find my son dead. This could be the moment my world ends._

**One**!

The old, rotting door was thrust open with such force that it was thrown off it's hinges and crashed to the floor in a heap of splinters. Henry bolted in, gun at the ready, Hastings right behind him, and SWAT right behind him. But Henry paid them no mind as he took in the scene before him.

"_Shawn_."

There, before him, sat his son, hands sitting limply in his lap, legs tied to the legs of the chair, shoulders slumped, head hanging, and body completely covered in blood. His own blood. Henry could make out lost patches of skin that looked infect and oozed out blood and pus. He could make out carvings on his chest of symbols that held no meaning to Henry but bled like a river flowed. His face was swollen and bruised, Henry could tell even with his head hanging down. And above him stood the monster that had down this to him, knife held high in the air.

"_Clarence_." Henry growled.

"Henry?" Clarence asked, looking shocked, but the father could see the rage settling into his facial expression. "Henry."

"Clarence, back _the fuck_ away from him or you'll be eating lead."

"Henry. What are you doing here? You can't be here!"

"Get away from my son!"

"I can't! It's not finished!"

"Too fuckin' bad! Whatever you're doing you're _done_. Now. Back. Away. From. My son." Henry spoke slowly, a growl in the back of his throat.

Clarence sneered, "Like father like son, huh? Always ruining _everything_."

"Shawn hasn't done anything!"

"HE KILLED MY DAUGHTER!"

"**SHE KILLED **_**HERSELF**_!"

"LIES! LIES!" Clarence screamed, waving the knife in the air, dangerously close to Shawn's head. "This-this _demon_ made her! I'm going to make sure it can't hurt anyone else!"

"You're insane!" Henry cried, taking a step forward.

"I'm ridding the world of this demon. I've done everything by the book. But he—he made me mess up! I was _so close_! But it's ruined! There's only one thing left I can do…" Clarence lifted the knife again, drawing his arm back, ready to strike.

"Let him go! Put the knife down!" Henry screamed again, glancing at his son, seeing him lift his head weakly, looking right into his father's eyes.

_Shawn_.

"I can't, I'm so close. This is for his own good, can't you see that?"

Shawn blinked slowly, _Daddy_.

"He's dying! Damnit, let him go!" Henry all but sobbed, not taking his eyes from his son's.

_It'll be ok, son._

"I'm saving him. I'm his savior."

_I love you, daddy._

"You're a monster! Let him go! Shawn!"

_Don't give up now!_

But it was too late. Clarence drove the knife forward, slamming it into Shawn's chest. Despite his lack of strength Shawn threw his head back and screamed at the top of his lungs, an agonizing, heartbreaking scream.

Henry stopped breathing. Almost threw up.

But in the blink of an eye suddenly he'd fired his gun and Clarence was on the ground, a wound in his chest, and Henry was in front of his son as he began to tip forward off the chair.

"Shawn, Shawn. Oh God, Shawn. Baby, easy. Please." He could vaguely hear the people beside him screaming for an ambulance or whispering_ 'Easy, easy'_ as Henry lowered his son to the floor, Hastings cutting the foot restrains.

"Shawn, Shawnie. Son." Henry begged, tears streaming down his face as he hugged his son to him. He could hear the other men saying something about not taking the knife out yet, to wait for the paramedics, but as far as Henry was concerned he was alone in the cabin with his dying son.

Shawn's eyes cracked open, blood dripping down his chin. Henry continued to whisper his son's name soothingly, whispering his son's name over and over, begging him and any/every God that was out there to save his son.

Shawn blinked slowly, so slowly Henry thought that maybe he'd passed out again. But then his eyes were open slightly again and his lips moved. Mouthing one single word.

_Daddy_.

Henry's eyes widened, a sob ripping through his chest. "I'm here, Shawn. Shawnie. Please, son, please…" Shawn's eyes started to go out of focus and Henry turned, acknowledging the men around him for the first time, and screamed "Where the fuck are the medics?!" He barely registered as Hastings, right beside him, said '_They're coming, Henry. They just pulled up_.' He focused on his son once more. "Shawn." He sobbed, begged. "Baby, baby, please…" But soon Shawn's eyes rolled back in his head and he went slack in his father's arms. Henry did the only thing he could think to do.

He screamed.

--

The ride in the ambulance was one of the worst experiences in Henry's life. He had to sit in front since everyone in the back was working. He kept himself turned around, watching the people that were working to save his son's life.

_The blood…there's so much blood…_

As soon as the ambulance pulled up to Santa Barbara General Henry was out and running with the EMTs as they rushed his son inside, through the main doors. He could see his son's pale face, eyes closed, a mask over his mouth.

_He looks dead…is he already gone?_

"Sir, sir. I'm sorry, you can't go back with us. Wait here." One of the women who'd been in the ambulance with his son said, pushing him back a bit as they rushed toward those swinging double-doors that Henry knew all too well. The ones he'd seen his son go through too many times. The ones he might have just seen him go through for the last time. Henry pressed his hand to his mouth.

_Oh God…Oh God, I can't do this…_

"Sir? Sir, are you all right? Maybe you should sit down…" A nurse said and he knew he must look terrible. He was probably white as a sheet, and he was covered in his son's blood. It was all over him.

_I'm covered in Shawn's blood. Oh, God…_

Henry found himself diving for the nearest garbage can, emptying the little that was in his stomach. He felt the nurse's soothing hand on his back, but he barely registered it. He couldn't think. All he could think was that he was completely covered in his son's blood.

_I don't deserve to be comforted. Shawn wasn't comforted. He was tortured. And it's my fault for not finding him sooner. Oh, God…oh, Shawn…_

Henry stood shakily, and found himself being led to the surprisingly empty waiting room, save for two men waiting in the corner, watching discretely. He found himself sitting in one of the crappy, plastic chairs, suddenly alone. He was surprised when he found himself doing something he hadn't done in years.

He prayed.

_I'm not strong enough to say goodbye. Please, God, please. Please don't take my boy from me. I need him. Please…I need him…_

The tortured father let his head fall into his hands and sobbed.

--

Henry had called the kids and his father several hours prior, telling them that they found Shawn, but not to come to the hospital yet. _"They can't see him yet, dad."_ He'd said_, "Not yet. **I** can't even handle it. Don't let them come, no matter what. It…it'll destroy them. I can't do that to them. I can't let them come…not yet."_

_"It's ok, son. I understand. But…he—he's alive?"_

_"For now."_

_"…"_

_"I'll call you when he's out of surgery."_

That had been at nine o'clock. It was now three in the morning and Henry was in a pair of hospital scrubs. He'd been informed about an hour prior that his son had made it through surgery, but he still had yet to call his father. _Let them sleep_, he thought to himself, _someone has to_.

He sipped from his eighth cup of crap coffee as he paced back and forth. The two men who'd been in the corner of the room were now gone, and he was all alone.

"Mr. Spencer?" Henry spun around so quickly that the doctor standing behind him actually jumped. "Mr. Spencer, I'm Dr. Blake."

"My son?" It was all he could choke out.

"Mr. Spencer, your son…Shawn has been through a lot. But I'm sure you already know that." Blake sighed, before glancing down at the chart in his hands, as if not wanting to meet the father's eyes. "Shawn had much bruising and hemorrhaging. He lost a lot of blood from that alone. We're giving him transfusions. Some of his…patches of his skin had been…removed." The doctor seemed to be having trouble saying the tortuous things the young teen had gone through. But in return, Henry was having a hard time hearing it. "As well as some…carvings in his chest. Several of his wounds are infected, so he's on antibiotics for that, and has a slight fever because of it. He has a minor concussion, nothing horribly serious. And when your son was stabbed…thankfully it missed his heart all together, but it did pierce his left lung. We managed to fix the damage but he might find it hard to breathe for a little bit, so we have him on a ventilator at the moment."

"Is he…is he gonna live?" It was all Henry could manage to ask. There was so much to process at once.

"We lost him a few times on the table, but he's stable for now. Tonight is crucial. If he makes it though tonight there's a good chance he'll pull through."

Henry nodded, blinking slowly. "Can…can I see him?"

The doctor bit his lip, and it was obvious to Henry it was against the rules for him to see Shawn. "Well…he does need police protection. I—if anyone asks, you're with the cops watching his door, all right?"

Henry felt himself smile as more tears escaped his eyes. He scrubbed at them and nodded, "Thank you." He whispered, the two words having so much emotion. The doctor nodded, looking almost ready to almost cry himself, and led Henry to the ICU room his son had been moved to. The only room with two officers outside the door.

The father slowly stepped inside and froze at the image of his boy. It was almost worse than when he saw him in the cabin. He was now completely clean, his hair still wet from when the blood had been scrubbed from his body. His face was pale with almost-black patches all over it. There was an uncovered cut on his son's forehead with stitches on it, and he had at least one bandage on every visible part of his body. He had a tube in his mouth and was hooked up to about five different things. Heart monitor, ventilator, three different IV's, one with blood in it.

Henry took a deep breath and made himself step forward. _You can do this, Henry. You have to._

He stepped up to the bed and took Shawn's hand in his, looking down at his bruised, swollen face. Tears flowed down Henry's face once again as he whispered his son's name. "Shawn?"

Almost as if in response the machines his son was hooked up to began to beep and go crazy. Several doctors and nurses came running in, and he was pushed out of the way. Panic set it as Henry realized what was going on.

Shawn was flat-lining.

--

"Baby…baby, wake up." Shawn cracked his eyes open. He wasn't in the cabin. Hell, he wasn't _anywhere_. "Baby."

He turned and his eyes widened at who he saw standing beside him. "M-mom?"

There stood his mother, a soft smile playing across her face. She looked just like she had when he was a little boy. Young, vibrant, _happy_. "Yea, baby. It's me."

"Oh…oh, God. Mom." He found himself falling forward and throwing his arms around her. "Mommy…"

He felt her cradle him to her, like she always did when he was a little boy. "It's me, baby. It's me." He pulled back, still holding her arms, afraid to let go, and looked into her eyes.

"Mom…I—I can't—am I dead?"

Madeline smiled, shaking her head. "No, baby. But you're on the edge. You have to go back."

"But…mom, I—I want to stay with you." Shawn whispered in a childlike way, pulling himself back to her and burying his face in her shoulder.

"Oh, Shawnie. What about your father? And Gus? You know what this would do to them…and what about that new boyfriend of yours?"

Shawn smiled a little, "You…you've been watching?"

"You bet your ass I have! Why wouldn't I?" She pulled back, a smile on her face, hands on his shoulders and holding him at arm's length. "Shawn, you…you have no idea how proud I am of you." Shawn's eyes widened. "You've grown into such a man. I know most _adults_ would never be able to deal with all that you have on your plate…and you've mastered it with such truth and grace. You're a good boy." She wrapped her arms around him once again, and Shawn hugged back tightly, something he missed so much. "And don't you ever, _ever_ think what I did was because of you. The only thing holding me _back_ was you. Do you understand me?" Shawn nodded into his mother's shoulder, tears in his eyes.

"Oh, mommy…" He whispered, choking on his sobs. "I missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, baby. But don't forget," She took a step back and held him at arms length once again. "I'm always with you." Shawn nodded, sniffling. "Now go, they need you down there more than I do."

Shawn nodded and took a step back. "Bye, mommy."

"It's not bye, baby. It's…see you later." She waved, a warm smile on her face.

That smile was the last thing he saw as his world went white.

--

"Wait…I—I've got a rhythm! He's back with us!"

Henry felt himself burst with joy by those simple words. He nearly collapsed with relief. He pressed his hand to his mouth, tears of joy mingling with the tears of fear. _Shawn is alive_.

Shawn's eyes cracked open slightly, "Wait…wait! He-he's waking up!" Cried an astonished doctor.

Henry threw himself forward, actually pushing one of the doctors out of the way, and grabbed his son's hand. "Shawn? Son?" He gripped his hand tightly, smoothing back Shawn's wet hair and smiling, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Shawnie?"

Shawn was unable to smile around the tube in his mouth, but Henry could see it in his son's eyes. Shawn was _smiling_.

_I'm ok, Daddy. Don't be scared. _

A happy sob ripped through Henry's chest. "Oh, Shawn." He hugged his son close, careful of his wounds, and sobbed, chanting his son's name over and over again.

His boy was alive.

--

_Oh Lord, I found this one a little heart breaking. How about you? I have tissues! –holds out box-_

_Thanks for reading!!_

_-claire_


	22. Chapter 22

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 22**

**Note**: Holy shit on a stick. You guys, I am so god damn sorry. Please forgive me! It's been like what, a month and a half? –is mortified– I _never_ meant to make you wait this long, school has just been not too awesome. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me? –puppy dog eyes–

Anyway, if you're all still with me, I hope you enjoy!

--

"Ready? Three…two…one, cough!"

Shawn tried his best to obey the order, he really did. He coughed with all his might, but in actuality it was pretty lame, and he just ended up gagging as the tube in his throat was tugged out. He felt himself being turned on his side as he gagged and coughed. He felt his father's comforting hand on his back, soothing. After what felt like forever the fit subsided and he fell on his back again, breathing heavily.

"Hey, bud, you ok now?" Henry asked softly, smoothing back Shawn's disheveled hair.

"Mmm…about as good…as you'd be…" Shawn ground out in his hoarse, ragged voice. He coughed a bit and gratefully accepted the offered glass of water from his dad's hand. He sucked from the straw as the nurse finished her checks, nodded and walked out.

"Your friends were here before, but you were out like a light." Shawn nodded. Despite the tube, he'd been very animated (as much as he could be, anyway) with his friends. But Henry knew his son. He knew what was forced and what was genuine. He knew when his boy was putting up a show. _The last time he had to force positive emotions this much was at Maddie's funeral_, Henry shuddered at the thought.

"They're coming back today." He continued, watching his son's face. Shawn just nodded again. "You up to it?" Shawn didn't respond. "Shawn?"

"I don't know." He said, his voice not sounding like his own it didn't even sound like his own. He still refused to look at his father.

There was a long pause, Henry really had no idea what to do. Shawn had been to hell, almost literally, what could Henry say to fix that? There was no chapter in the parenting books entitled '_What to Do When Your Spouse's Father Tortures/Attempts to Kill Your Child_'. "Shawn…Shawn, it's ok if you're–"

"If I'm what?" Shawn snarled, "Sad? Scared? _Broken_?"

"Shawn…" Henry started, feeling a tightening in his throat. _I can't cry. Not here_.

"Isn't that what you were gonna say dad? Isn't it?"

"I was going to say tired." Henry sighed. It was completely understandable for Shawn to act this way. But understandable didn't equal easy

Shawn paused, "Oh." He let his head drop. "Sorry."

"It's ok, son…do you want me to tell them not to come?"

"Shawn shook his head. "No…no, it's ok." He started down at his hands, by the look in his eyes he was seeing something Henry didn't.

Henry sighed again, reaching over and stroking Shawn's hair. "Why don't you sleep?" Shawn paused, looking hesitant. Henry knew Shawn was having reoccurring nightmares, who wouldn't be? Shaking his head, and repressing another sigh, he said "Sleep…I'll be here when you wake up."

--

_The blood wouldn't go away._

_He scrubbed and scrubbed but the blood would not go away. His hands were going raw he was scrubbing so hard. _

_Why wouldn't it go away?_

_He let out a strangled sob as he looked down. The blood was no longer just on his hands. It was all over him. On his arms, his legs. Pouring from his chest, from the black hole. The black hole that was where he was pretty sure his heart was supposed to be. But it was just a hole, a hole that blood poured from and soaked him completely. _

_He touched the hole, trying to stop the bleeding, trying to find his heart. But it burned. He pulled his hand back. _

And he screamed.

--

Henry jerked awake at the scream from the bed beside him. Half conscious he checked the time and saw it was two o'clock in the afternoon. When the hell had he fallen asleep?

"Shawn." He said quickly, "Shawn. Wake up!" Shawn's eyes flew open and, breathing heavily, he sat up.

"Dad?"

"Son, are you ok?" He asked, rubbing his back comfortingly.

"Where's my heart?" Shawn asked breathlessly, his voice so rushed and rough Henry wasn't really sure what he said.

"What?"

"I said where's my-" But Shawn stopped, he looked around the room, and suddenly realized where he was. "Ah—nothing." He coughed a little, clearing his throat. He took the water off the bedside table, drinking it. "What time is it?"

"Two o'clock." Henry said, eyeing him, "You sure you're ok?"

Shawn nodded, waving his hand dismissivly. "How long have I been asleep?"

Henry paused, thinking about it, before shrugging and saying, "A few hours."

Shawn nodded again. "What time are-?" Before he could finish the question the door opened and in walked his three best friends. "Well, look at that. You'd think I was psychic!" Shawn joked, plastering a smile on his face

"Well, look who joined the land of the breathing!" Juliet smiled, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"You don't sound it." Lassiter said, coming up to the side of the bed and kissing Shawn on the cheek, a habit he'd began on Shawn's first night there. "Though that rugged sound is kinda sexy." He joked quietly so only Shawn would hear. The bed-ridden teen smirked and puckered his lips, making a kissing sound.

"It's all for you, baby." He joked.

"Do I even want to know what you just said to my son?" Henry asked suspiciously, to which the boys merely smiled in response.

Gus decided to join the conversation then, holding out a plastic green cup with a yellow lid and white straw sticking out. "You're dad said you were getting the tube out today, so I thought you might like this."

"Is that what I think it is?" Shawn asked, taking the cup eagerly and sucking down half of it in a moment. "Oh, Gus! A pineapple smoothie! I knew there was a reason you were my best friend!" Gus just rolled his eyes and grinned.

As Shawn turned his attention to Juliet, who began to tell him about school and how jealous she was that he was exempt from all his exams, Gus and Lassiter turned their attention to the father.

Henry was watching his boy closely, and the look on his face told the two boys all they needed to know. Henry was worried about Shawn, and he had every right to be. Shawn had been through a lot, to put it lightly, and he had a long way to go, but that wasn't what was worrying them. It was that Shawn was trying too hard to fake the happy, to just push the whole ordeal aside and move on. He didn't want to deal with what happened, and they knew that he was going to have to eventually.

The two glanced at each other, and were slightly surprised to find the other staring, but shared a knowing glance. Lassiter mouthed _let me_, and that was all Gus needed. They turned back to Shawn, who was now sitting on the edge of his bed, absentmindedly running his hand over his bandaged chest. He was completely immersed in some inane story about a rumor at school that Juliet was telling him.

"Hey, guys, does anyone want some coffee – not you, Shawn – 'cause I could really go for a cup." Gus said. Juliet glanced at her boyfriend, and seeing the look on his face nodded.

"Yea, I could go for a cup." She stood, "Mr. Spencer? You've been in here for a while. Wanna take a filed trip to the cafeteria?"

Henry paused, glancing at his son. "I'll stay with Shawn." Lassiter said quickly, giving the father a look. Almost immediately he knew what they were plotting, _alone time with the lovebirds_. Everyone seemed to understand the plot except the apparently oblivious Shawn.

"Sure." He said, running his hand through his hair, "Sure, why not? I'll be back in a minute, Shawn."

"I'll be counting the moments." The teen mocked, a smirk on his face as his father waved his hand, muttering '_no respect at all!_'

Once the three were out of the room Lassiter had barely opened his mouth when the smile disappeared from Shawn's face and he said, "Don't think I don't know what you're doing."

Lassiter's jaw snapped shut. "Huh?"

"They wanted to get us alone so you could use your Irish charm to get me to open up and cry." Lassiter blinked, "Am I right?" The older teen sighed, _goddamn powers_, he thought.

"I didn't need my abilities to know that, or what you were just thinking."

Lassiter almost found himself smiling, but then it faded away and he tried to come up with something to say. "Shawn…"

"Don't."

"Shawn, I just-"

"Don't try to fix me." Shawn snarled, his voice dangerously low. He narrowed his eyes, turning away. "_Don't_ try to fix me. I'm _not_ broken."

Lassiter stepped around the bed, not even conscious of his own movements or of the tears now escaping his eyes. "_I_ am." He whispered and Shawn froze, he turned slightly to see the tears streaming down the older teen's face, to see the horror in his eyes, the haunted look that wouldn't go away, the look that Shawn had been trying so desperately to ignore.

"Lass…" Shawn whispered, and suddenly everything went from slow-mo to fast-forward and Lassiter all but fell into a sitting position on the bed next to Shawn. He wrapped his arms around him and cried, sobbing until his throat felt raw. He was vaguely aware of Shawn's soft, sweet strokes on the back on his neck.

They sat there for God knows how long, until Lassiter finally pulled back, "This is a little backwards, isn't it?" He laughed a little, running a sleeve under his nose. Shawn smiled, but kept his mouth shut, knowing Lassiter had something to say. He sat, looking expectant and calm.

"Shawn. Shawn. I-I-" He hiccuped, running his sleeve under his nose again. But as he found his words his voice was suddenly steady, "I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. I…I can't imagine my life without you. The thought alone just feels…wrong." He shook his head as more tears welled up, "And to think…to think I could have lost you…and I never would have gotten to tell you…"

"Oh…Carlton…" Shawn whispered, caressing the older boy's cheek, surprising him with the use of his first name. The battered boy looked into the older's eyes, deeply, as if staring into his soul. A soft smile slipped across his lips. "I love you, you know that?" He leaned forward and hugged Lassiter once again.

"I always knew, Lassie." He whispered, "I always knew." Shawn pushed himself onto the bed fully again, taking Lassiter with him. The older teen sat against the headboard, letting Shawn curl up and use his legs as a pillow. Shawn let his eyes close and allowed himself to drift off to sleep knowing that, at least for now, with Lassiter by his side, he would have no nightmares.

He had his heart back now.

--

Henry watched his son and his boyfriend cuddle. He hoped that his son would get a good amount of sleep now.

"Henry?" The father turned to see his partner standing there.

"Jim! Come to pay Shawn another visit? He's asleep right now-"

"No, unfortunately this isn't a social visit."

"Is this to prep him for the trial? Because I'd really rather he got a full night's - well, afternoon's - rest before we even delve into-"

"No. No, Henry." The elder Spencer stopped, eyeing his partner, a bad feeling forming in the bit of his stomach. "It's about Clarence."

--

_Was it worth the wait? Probably not. A month and a half is a real long time. –hangs head in shame– Even so, I really hope you enjoyed it!!_

_Thanks for reading!!_

_-claire_


	23. Chapter 23

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 23**

**Note**: So am I the biggest asshole in the world? I think so. I mean, I left you on a cliffhanger AND I didn't update for three months…but sorry, I suddenly developed a life and decided to run with it. My last midterm was yesterday so I though I'd spend my day off trying to update. With _Psych_ off the air _Glee_ took it's place as my muse and I was doing stories with that when I had the time…so yea, I'm really sorry. But _Psych_ is coming back and will hopefully return as my muse (since _Glee_ makes me wait until April for new episodes).

Anyway, sorry again and I hope you remember me enough to enjoy this chapter!!

--

Henry froze at his partner's words. There was no way Clarence could have escaped, right? Or somehow got out of the jail time? No. Escapes only happened in movies or TV shows, and there was no way he would ever get out of his jail time after what he did. But…

"What—he-he didn't-?"

"No. Hastings shook his head. "He didn't escape…he—well, he's dead, Henry."

The father froze completely. That had _not_ been what he was expecting. "I—what?"

"He's dead. Shanked by one of the other guys in lockup. They apparently don't take too kindly to child abusers in there. When word got out what he was in for…" Hastings didn't have to continue. Henry knew the story. He'd seen it a million times before in his line of work. Child abuser goes to jail, most of his cellmates were abused children themselves so they kill him. Usually Henry didn't feel bad about it, bastards usually got what they deserved. But this time…this time he didn't know what to feel. _How_ to feel.

He felt his hand raise numbly to cover his mouth. He turned to look back at his sleeping son and his now sleeping boyfriend. "I—I don't-" He had no idea what to say. He just suddenly felt…empty. He'd been looking so forward to watching Clarence suffer through the trial, looking completely insane in front of all his peers, so they could show the word what this _fucker_ did to his baby boy.

But now…nothing.

"I—I should…" Henry gestured towards Shawn's room, unable to find the words. Hastings nodded and smiled weakly, patting Henry's shoulder before letting his hand drop lamely. In a zombie-like fashion he turned around and went back into his son's room. "Boys." He said, lightly shaking Lassiter's leg. "Boys, wake up." Shawn stirred awake first.

"Dad? What is it?" When Shawn lifted his head off of his boyfriend's leg it woke up the older teen.

"Mr. Spencer?"

"Shawn…I—I have to tell you something." Shawn blinked at his father and sat up.

"Maybe I should go?" Lassiter said, "I'll go see what Gus and Juliet are doing." Shawn nodded and gave his boyfriend a weak smile as Lassiter kissed him on the forehead and walked out, shooting one last look at the father and son as he went.

As soon as he was out of sight Shawn's full attention was on his father. "What happened? What's wrong?" Henry knew that Shawn was probably feeling Henry's emotions flowing off of him like they were radiation in Hiroshima. His boy didn't need to have powers in order to know what his father was feeling. Henry was obviously a little anxious about something.

"Grandpa…did he…?" Despite everything he'd been through Shawn still called that bastard 'grandpa'. It floored Henry to no end anytime he said it. Why would Shawn call him that? Shaking his head he got back to the task at hand.

"Shawn…he-uh-well…"

Shawn's eyes widened and Henry felt himself panic. Henry hadn't been guarding himself, Shawn probably just got the whole conversation with Hastings shot into his brain. "Oh my God." He'd gone completely pale and his hand rose shakily to his mouth. "Oh—he—oh my God…"

"Shawn?" Henry leaned forward, unsure of what to say. Some relief filled him over the fact he didn't actually have to say it…and _that_ just made him feel like even more of a failure.

"I'm gonna be sick." Shawn ground out quickly and before either could blink Henry had dove down to grab the pail that had been on the floor and had it under Shawn's chin. The teen dry heaved into it for a moment, in between the sobs wracked his body.

Henry drew circles on his back. "Shh, it's ok. Just calm down…calm down…"

The father and son sat like this for a long moment, just waiting for Shawn to calm down and breathe again. It took a while, but it happened. Henry lowered the pail back to the floor and helped Shawn sit back on the bed. He handed him the box of tissues and waited while he blew his nose a few times and wiped off his face. "You ok now?" He asked soothingly and Shawn nodded after a moment.

There was a long silence. And to be honest, Henry really had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that his boy was upset and he needed to make that better. _Oh, Maddie. If only you were here with me right now…we could really use you…_

"Shawn?"

"I—I just—I don't even-" He looked so lost. "I mean…after all he did to me you would think…I mean, he wanted to kill me…was _going_ to kill me…but I—I can't help but…" Shawn shook his head as more tears welled up. "Why can't I just forget it all?" He whispered into a tissue he'd pressed to his mouth.

"You will, eventually. But you need to get to that point first." Henry ran his hand up and down Shawn's arm.

He looked at his father, as if seeing him for the first time. "Why am I feeling this way?" He asked, completely sincere, like he was really asking for the answer. "Why is it that after all he did to me I still…I still…" He shook his head, "I still _miss him_."

Henry blinked, "Miss him?"

"Do you-" _hiccup_, "Do you remember when I was little and they came over for my fifth birthday? They took me to the zoo so you and mom could set up for a party or something. And I just…I remember…" A soft smile drew across his lips. "I remember him lifting me up so I could feed a giraffe. I was so scared it was gonna eat my hand." He actually laughed, "But Grandpa held me tight, and he promised that…he said if it ate my hand I could have one of his…" Tears started to run down his cheeks again, "And now…all I can think of when someone says his name is a six inch knife being driven into my chest." He let out a sob, and looked at his father, who was tearing up himself.

There was a pause, they just looked at each other for a minute. "I preferred the giraffes." Shawn whispered.

And then suddenly the room that had been completely silent, filled with palpable tension, was filled with laughter. The two bursts out laughing, neither either really sure why. Tears streamed down their faces as they leaned into each other for support. They gasped and wheezed and tried hard to suck in air.

And almost as suddenly as it had started it stopped, the two calmed down and Henry looked deep into his son's eyes. And without another word Henry leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his son and Shawn held on tight.

"I love you, Shawn. Always know that."

"I know dad. I love you too…"

--

Gus slowly walked into the room Henry had just walked out of. Juliet and Lassiter were chatting with him out in the hallway, holding out his cup of coffee, but Gus had snuck away. He walked into his best friend's room and, shutting the door, he was alone with him for the first time since the attack.

Shawn glanced up from the loose string he'd been pulling out of the blanket. "Gus." He smiled, but it wasn't forced, it wasn't fake. It was relief, pure, unadulterated. "Gus," He said again, "I'm so glad it's you."

And with those five words the best friends lost it. As if in sync they both let the dam fall and began to cry. Gus walked up to Shawn's bed and in two strides with sitting on the edge, hugging Shawn as tightly as possible. This was their first chance to be alone, to be real. There was no faking being strong for Henry or Juliet or Lassiter, there was no forced smiles or fake laughs so everyone would calm down a little. No, this was real, this was genuine.

And it felt _so_ good.

"Oh, God, Shawn." Gus all but moaned as the tears continued to fall. "I…I don't know if I could have…" _I don't know if I could have made it without you_. "When I first saw you…I thought it was too late. That you'd be gone forever. But oh God, Shawn you're here." A sob ripped from his throat at the same moment it did from Shawn's.

"I thought I would never see you again, when I first woke up there and I…" Shawn sniffled, "We'd never get to finish our ambitialist." Gus let out a single laugh, neither pulling away from the hug yet. The 'ambitialist', or ambition list, was the best friends' list of all the things they needed to do before they grew up or died, whichever came first. "I mean, we're not even halfway done."

Gus let out another single laugh and pulled back from his best friend, still holding onto his shoulders as he held him at arm's length, as if afraid to let go. "Shawn…oh Shawn, I'm so glad you came back."

Shawn smiled weakly at his friend, "I almost didn't." Gus just tilted his head to the side. "I…when I flat-lined that first night I…I went somewhere. I don't know where. But…I saw her, Gus." I looked deep into his friend's eyes. "I saw my mom." Gus's eyes widened but he said nothing. "I…she told me to go back. Made me." He laughed a little, "She said was watching…and that she liked Lassiter." Gus laughed, shaking his head. "But, Gus. Seriously. Sitting here, now, with you…" He shook his head, not taking his eyes from Gus's. "I'm glad I came back. I know it was the right choice." Gus said nothing, he just pulled Shawn into another hug. "Thanks for coming in here, alone, Gus." Shawn whispered, "I really needed it."

"Me too."

--

_Well, I'm certainly not happy with this chapter, but I felt like I made you all wait too long so I just hope you enjoyed it. _

_Thank you for reading!_

_-claire_


	24. Chapter 24

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Chapter 24**

**Note**: So, uh, hey guys! -_laughs nervously_- What's up? It's been a while…Ok I'm really really sorry. Life seriously got in the way there for a while – what with it being the end of my senior year of High School and having all sorts of lose ends to tie up. **I'm** **really really sorry –** I hope you understand!

**Also**, I got a review that told me the dashes in between each section have disappeared – I'm not really sure why that is. They were there when I posted the chapters, as I'm sure some of you remember. I'm not really sure what happened – this site does weird stuff sometimes. So I apologize to new readers who have to deal with the confusion, but please know it was not my doing! I'm more organized than that :D

Anyway, sorry again and ENJOY!

00

The funeral had been small, quite. There had been two people there – the priest and her. He spoke kind words – words she knew her husband didn't deserve. She hadn't wanted to admit it. She had ignored it for a long time. But her husband hadn't been her husband in over two years. He'd gone to their daughter's funeral and never came back.

One would think that Elyse would have been the one to crack, being the mother and all. But she'd kept her composure, telling herself it was better this way – her daughter was unhappy but now she was with the Lord, she would be happier now.

But Clarence hadn't seen it that way.

He'd seen it as murder – not suicide. He blamed Shawn and Henry for the injustice. And she'd never fought him on it. She'd let him rant and rave about how their faggot of a grandson drove their precious angel to suicide. She didn't necessarily disagree with him – Shawn's being a homosexual was definitely something she didn't agree with. It was wrong – plain and simple.

But she would never say it was the cause of her daughter's suicide.

Poor Madeline had suffered from depression since she was a teen – before Shawn was even thought of. She strongly disagreed with her husband's opinions on the subject, but she didn't want to fight so she never told him. She let him get closer and closer to the edge until he finally lost it completely.

She was as much to blame for what happened as her husband was. She let him get to that point. She let him lose it. She didn't stop him – didn't help him. And now she'd lost him. And almost her grandson too.

But she hadn't – Shawn was still alive.

As the casket was lowered into the ground, as she dropped a handful dirt on the only part left of her husband of 47 years she made a decision. She was going to go see Shawn. She was going to be a part of his life once again – that is, if he let her.

She wasn't going to lose him. Not after all this.

With tears in her eyes she turned from her husband's grave and made her way towards the cemetery gates.

00

The automatic doors opened slowly. Her black heals clicked as she walked down the linoleum floors. She walked up to the nurse's station and waited quietly for the young girl in pink scrubs to look up at her.

"How may I help you?" She smiled brightly, giving Elyse a little hope.

"My name is Elyse Hunter – I'm here to see my grandson."

"Sure thing, what's his name?"

"Shawn Spencer."

The nurse got a look on her face – one Elyse knew she should have expected. "One moment please." She said, a little less enthusiastic. She picked up the phone next to her computer and talked in hushed tones for a moment before saying, "Uh, you can go see him." She gave Elyse the room information and the grandmother was off. She made her way into the elevator and stood stock-still. She held her breath, unsure if she wanted to cry, vomit or something else. She reached down and smoothed out her black dress, wanting to look good for her injured grandson – whom she had not seen in about two years, she hadn't seen him since…

Since the funeral.

As the elevator doors opened she took a deep breath and stepped out, making her way down the hall.

00

Shawn was sitting up in his bed, now wearing a too big t-shirt and a pair of Henry's sweatpants – again, too big. The hospital staff had relented, after much whining and charming, and let Shawn wear something other than the skimpy hospital gown, as long as they were loose. Underneath there was little skin that wasn't covered in gauze and bandages. The bruises on his face were still there – though fading – and the cuts were healing well.

He sat with his legs stretched out, though he longed to cross them – but the wounds would not permit it. He was chatting happily with his best friends, his grandpa and his father. This was the first time they'd all been in the room together while Shawn was fully awake. They laughed and joked, so happy they'd gotten Shawn back physically, and it seemed they were on the road – more like highway – to getting him back fully – or at least they'd hit the exit.

As they chatted and laughed there was a knock on the door, "Hello?" Came a quiet voice. "May I come in?"

Henry and Lawrence went quiet, their eyes widening as they took in the woman at the door. Gus bit his lip, trying to hide his harsh emotions, while Lassiter and Juliet just looked confused.

Everyone glanced from the woman to Shawn, who's look indicated he knew she was coming.

"Hey, Grandma." He smiled, and it wasn't really forced either, just…tired. Lassiter and Juliet's eyes widened as they realized who this woman was.

"Shawn." She nodded, looking meek. "I hope you don't mind that I'm here…may I…may I speak to you for a moment?"

Henry opened his mouth to snarl some cruel words, but Shawn was faster. "Yea, sure." He nodded, "Do you guys think you could give us a minute?"

"Shawn…" Henry said, the others sharing his concerned look.

"Guys, come on. It's fine." His three friends nodded and headed out the door, Lawrence not far behind. Henry was the last to walk out. He stopped at the door and turned.

"I'll be right out here." He looked at Elyse, "And don't forget – I have a gun."

"Dad!" Shawn cried, and Henry quickly walked out, leaving the door open a crack. "Sorry about him." The hospitalized teen said.

"No, no." Elyse shook her head, "I deserved that…" She slowly made her way in, looking around the room. "You sure got lots of friends, huh?" She asked, gesturing to all the balloons and flowers.

Shawn laughed a little, "Yea, yea…pretty much every officer in town sent me something." He looked at his grandmother, really looking her over as she slowly sat on the plastic chair next to the bed. "How was the funeral?" He asked seriously.

"It was ok…sad…" She shrugged, "The priest was very kind, too kind. I was the only one there."

Shawn nodded sadly, already knowing this. "I would have gone, but…"

She shook her head. "No, no. He—he didn't deserve that." Shawn got a surprised look on his face, "That wasn't my Clarence they buried today…he hasn't been my Clarence for a long time…" She sighed, looking down as tears welled up. "Sorry." She whispered.

"Don't be sorry, Grandma." Shawn said, reaching over and taking her hand.

She laughed a little, "You're being so kind to me." She whispered, "After two years of nothing, you can still call me grandma? After what your grand—what Clarence did to you?"

Shawn shrugged, "You weren't there. You didn't know what he was doing or where he was. How could I blame you?"

Her tears started to flow at that. "I…I'm so sorry, Shawn." She choked out, "I never – I never meant to stay away for so long…and to think, I almost lost you, and I never would have gotten to know you as you grew up, as you became a man." She smiled, looking so broken. "I want to know you Shawn, I don't want to repeat the past two years."

"I don't either – especially the last month." She half sobbed, half laughed, shaking her head. "I want you to know me, Grandma." He squeezed her hand. They sat there for a moment.

"I don't blame you for you mother's death, you know." Shawn stiffened a little. "I know you might think I do…but I don't. I never did. I know…your mother was…not well, starting when she was your age. I knew she was unhappy…it wasn't your fault. Don't think it was."

Shawn gave her a watery smile, sniffling a little. "Thank you, Grandma."

They sat again, saying nothing until Elyse broke the silence. "Will I get to know your…boyfriend?" She asked awkwardly.

Shawn smiled a little, "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"No…I—I want to know you. He's a part of you…" She smiled a little as well, "I'm serious about this, Shawn."

He smiled warmly, "Me too, Grandma. It'll be a new beginning."

She looked up into his eyes, a true smile on her face. "A new beginning…I like that."

00

As Elyse walked out of her grandson's hospital room she smiled at the five people in the hallway. "You can have him back now." The three teens nodded and scurried in, knowing there was a heated conversation coming. They shut the door behind themselves.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Henry snarled, keeping his voice low.

She looked down, "I'm trying to make things right, Henry." She said quietly.

"What?" Henry asked, a little surprised.

"I…I don't want to do this anymore, Henry. I want to be in Shawn's life. I love that boy…I may not completely support all the things he does…but isn't that what love is? Staying with someone even if you don't agree with them?"

"Yea, that's not the best thing you could say, seeing as you _didn't_ stay with him." Henry snarled.

"Son," Lawrence warned, before turning to the woman before them. "Elyse," He said quietly, "You didn't upset him, did you?"

She smiled a little, "No. If anything, I was the upset one. Tears and all. He was all smiles and the epitome of calmness. I just…" She turned to Henry, "That boy is something special, I'm just sorry I missed two years."

"Yea. Me too." Henry looked at his mother-in-law and sighed, "Look. If Shawn wants you in his life, then I have no say in it. But if you ever, _ever_ hurt him…don't think I won't hesitate to end your life."

"_Henry_." Lawrence warned again.

"No, Lawrence, it's ok." She turned to Henry, "I completely agree with you Henry. But I won't hurt him. I'm going to do things differently. I know he's got a long road ahead of him, and I want to be there. I want to help him recover, I want to be there to see him get better." She looked deep into her son-in-law's eyes, "Please. I want to be in his life again."

Henry looked her over then nodded. "All right, I suppose I can accept this…come on, let's go back in." He nodded towards the door. The two grandparents nodded and followed him in.

"What? No bloodshed?" Shawn asked as he saw all three of them walk in, "Dad, I'm shocked you controlled yourself."

Henry just rolled his eyes. "We had a chat, son."

Lawrence nodded, "Yea. Everything is OK now."

"Or at least…everything will be." Lassiter said, taking Shawn's hand. The teen smiled at his boyfriend and nodded.

He smiled warmly, looking from face to face of all the people he truly loved, all sitting there with him. "Yea…we're all together now. It can only get better from here."

Elyse smiled, "Like you said, Shawn …it's a new beginning."

00

_Well, folks, that was the last chapter! All that's left is the epilogue, which I'll post in a few days. I hope you liked it, again it wasn't my favorite chapter but I'm OK with it. _

_I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading!_

_-claire_


	25. Chapter 25

**Only the Curious Have Something to Find**

**Epilogue**

**Note**: Well, here it is folks! The end! I'm quite sad, really. It's been a long, fun year and 3 months. I really enjoyed writing this story – and loved all the kind feedback you all gave me! I really can hardly believe I got over 300 reviews! You are all the reason I write, people! Thank you so much for making this such a fun experience! This is definitely my favorite story that I've ever written…even if I took a while getting those last few chapters up…thank you all for reading this and thanks even more to the people who stuck with the whole thing!

I hope you enjoy the end!

00

Shawn wore a pair of Henry's jeans – way too big, just the way they needed to be right now. On top he wore a SBPD t-shirt underneath Lassiter's Santa Barbara High hoodie, which was, again, too big. Underneath the oversized clothing he was still almost completely covered in gauze and bandages – though there were some patches of skin that were not covered now. His bruises on his face were fading and the cuts were thin pink lines now – except the one on his forehead, which still held it's stitches. His hair was sticking in different directions – but that was normal for Shawn. He walked slowly, barely moving, his father's guiding hand on his elbow. As they passes through the doorway there was a loud cry.

"There he is!"

Shawn laughed a little, looking embarrassed and elated all at once. There, on Juliet's deck and back lawn, stood seemingly all of Santa Barbara: pretty much the whole police station, Juliet, Lassiter, Gus and their families, as well as Grandpa Lawrence and Grandma Elyse

They all clapped and cheered as Shawn walked out, his father guiding him to a deck chair. His Grandfather came up and patted him on the head.

"There's my grandson. You have no idea how much I missed seein' you out and about, boy."

"Back at ya', Grandpa Bowels."

"I'll let you get away from that since you're not 100 percent."

"I'm not gonna be 100 percent for a while…so expect that to be your name for a long time." Shawn grinned, Lawrence just rolled his eyes.

His three friends rushed up to him, big smiled on their faces as Henry and Lawrence went to converse with some of the people there. "I can't believe you guys did this." He said, shaking his head.

"I invited you to my family party – but you never got to come, obviously. So this makes up for it. Besides, this way you're the maid of honor." Juliet grinned. Lassiter and Gus laughed at the expression on Shawn's face.

"Either way. I can't believe you organized a party for me just because I got out of the hospital."

"Shawn, you haven't been in the real world for over two months. I think we're allowed to throw a party." Gus said.

Shawn just shrugged. "Here, we'll go get you a plate of food!" Juliet said, grabbing Gus's arm and running off to the makeshift buffet filled with picnic foods.

Lassiter kissed Shawn on his head before taking the seat next to him. "Hey," He smiled.

"Hey to you too." Shawn smiled back.

Lassiter took Shawn's hand, "You have no idea how happy I am to see you out."

"You have no idea how happy _I_ am too see me out." Shawn laughed, and Lassiter chuckled.

"I feel like someone out there was trying to keep us apart, so I'm just glad we're not."

"What do you mean?" Shawn asked, drumming his fingers on the back of Lassiter's hand.

"I mean, with in our first few months of dating you had a break down and ran away, causing _me_ to have a break down, then you got kidnapped, then you were in the hospital for two months. It just feels like…since we started dating nothing but bad things have started happening."

"Oh, believe me, bad things have been happening for a long time. You're just my sunshine that gets me through the rainy days." Shawn smiled, leaning in and placing a soft kiss of his boyfriend's lips. "I wouldn't trade anything for our relationship. And if someone out there really is trying to keep us apart we can fight them, tooth and nail. Nothin'll keep us apart, baby." Lassiter laughed and responded with a kiss of his own before leaning back and Juliet and Gus came back with four plates.

They handed Shawn the plate filled the most with a hot dog, a cheeseburger, some watermelon, some pineapple and several different noodle salads.

"How the hell did you fit this all on one plate?"

"Magic. Now eat."

The four sat together and began to dig in, but Shawn had yet to. He just sat and smiled at his friends.

"What?" Gus asked, swallowing a mouthful.

Shawn shook his head, "I'm just so lucky to have you guys."

Lassiter shook his head, "Nah, we're the lucky ones." Juliet and Gus nodded in agreement.

Shawn laughed a little, obviously disagreeing. But instead said, "How about we all make a pact that none of us will get kidnapped again, OK?"

"I agree!" Juliet said, holding up her plastic cup, the other three following suit. "To never getting kidnapped again!"

"To staying friend forever!" Gus added.

"Simply, to us!" Shawn grinned and Lassiter nodded.

"Here, here!" And with that they clinked glasses and drank.

_This seems like the beginning of a wonderful lifetime, son_. Shawn smiled at the sound of his mother's voice in his head.

_It sure does, mom. It sure does._

0**FINIS**0

_Well, that's the end! I'm seriously gonna miss this story…but I'm sure you all won't miss my slow updates, eh? Heheh, sorry again for that. I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I did!_

_Again, thank you! You made this an overall amazing ride!_

_-claire_


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